Oh. My. God. Yes!

Forgive my geek-out but this news is sweet, sweet music to my ears. Not only is Peter Jackson producing and writing these movies, as has already been reported, but he's tagged one of the most visual and creative people out there to direct them. If you aren't familiar with who this person is, you should be ashamed and then you should check out one of his movies ... most particularly this one.

*bloggy love to Jimmie at The Sundries Shack for the heads-up on this.

Run Silent, Run Deep

I do apologize for all of these personal posts lately. I certainly did not plan to spill my spleen the way I have been but that's the way things are sometimes. This will be that last personal post for a while. In fact, it will be the last post for the near future.

I have been feeling increasingly detached from people and things over the past few weeks. Recent events haven't helped much in that regard. It's not that anything is wrong, it's just that something isn't right. So I'm going to be taking some serious me time to reassess myself and my place in the cosmos.

If you're starving for online content to read, you can gloss over my previous posts (if you haven't already) or I recommend that you visit the fine blogs listed in my Blogroll to the right there.

Social Rules Of Behavior [EXPLICIT]

I feel it is my bounded duty to point out some rules of behavior to those of you how are ... how shall I say ... inter-personally challenged. Follow these simple start-up rules and you'll be well on your way to social butterfly in no time!

1. If you see two or more people engaged in conversation, do not ... I repeat, do not ... interrupt; it's fucking rude! If you do feel the uncontrollable urge to be an asshole, at least do not exclude any of the current party from the now forced-upon conversation. Doing so puts you in douchebag company, a label hard to shake.
   
2. If someone is sitting, standing, and so forth by themselves it is not because they are lonely; if they were lonely, they would talk to you. No, the reason they are apart from everyone else is because, surprise, they want to be left alone. Please grant them their wish. They will thank you for it.
   
3. The easiest way to see if someone wishes to talk to you would be to offer them a drink. If they refuse the offer, you have your answer.
   
4. Make a space for folks to walk by. If you want to dance, use the goddamn dance floor. That's why they spent so much money building one, dick.
   
5. No one wants to see you make out all night. Go the fuck home already.
   
6. A nightclub is no place to pout all night. You aren't going to get a sympathy fuck from anyone ... or more to the point, you wouldn't want a sympathy fuck from anyone in a nightclub who would offer you one.

There you have it. Go and be sociable.

You (Insomnia And A Busy Mind. (Have To Love It. (Three Separate Thoughts.)))

I love you. I don't know where the road, if there is one, leads with you. I know what direction I would like for it to take but I have no control over you or the cosmic forces of the universe. And thus I am stunned into stillness. What am I to do? I don't know either.

I love you too. I've loved you deeper than I've loved any one else to date. Yet, for all I've done and I've tried to show, you've painted me into this corner. I allowed you to do so. There's no going back; the past is the past. And here I am. Loving you. And hating you. And hating myself for feeling both for you. In the end, I want you to be happy. With that, I hope to be content, as far as you and I stand.

And finally you. You seem to always be of divided minds. I don't know how to help you find your way. We've worked on this for you for a very long time. You seem to keep your ground. But I know you'll find your happiness one day. For your sake, I hope it's sooner rather than later. You'll forgive me, though, if I don't hold my breath.

You ... you who are reading this and who may be thinking that this post is about you ... you are held very dear to me and close to my heart, for better or worse. You are a big part of who I am today; for that you will keep that special place in my heart. Even if we never speak again, I will always thank you for the gift you've given me. I hope that we can find the appropriate places that we should maintain in our respective lives. If we don't, I know that the loss will be mine.

I'm tired. Of fighting. Of obsessing. Of running this track, lap after lap. I've decided to let it all go. Everything will fall where it is meant to fall. I will then assess what is what and where is where and continue on.

Why Am I Such A Mess Lately?

And by lately, I mean within the past few months. And by mess, I mean this ball of confusion. I am welcome to comments; have at ye. That is all.

Fields Of Grey

I shouldn't blog when tired. I also shouldn't kick babies, trip blind people, or heckle preachers; but what'cha gonna do? I find that, living alone as I do now and having a job that allows me flexible work hours, I have more time to myself then I know what to do with. So I think. A lot.

Me and thinking should never be alone in the same room together. More often than not, my attention turns to sleeping dogs that I should just let lie.

But that isn't how I am. I stress over things I can't change and I contemplate how I could make better those things that I can change. And I get them all confused. Then I get frustrated and down. And the lack of sleep only compounds the mess. (Stupid insomnia.)

So here I am. Stressed and down. And bugging out over this grey mess in my mind ... or this grey mess that is my mind.

So ... yes.

Patience

I have patience in spades.

Patience, as defined by Dictionary.com, means, among other things, "quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care". Patience, when supported by wisdom and decisiveness, is a powerful tool to possess. It allows one to bide time, view all options, weigh all facts, and come to a reasoned and researched and (hopefully) positive result.

But when patience stands alone, it is nothing more than glorified procrastination. Stupidity and uncertainty abound. Opportunities slide out of hand. Situations that should have ended continue on their poisonous path.

I am often accused of being indecisive, of taking too long to follow a course of action. In reflection, I have found that this is more often true than not. While I always strive to practice the first type of patience, I do not always hit that mark. I wait too long. I weigh my options until all options are gone. And in the end I am either left holding an empty bag or a bag of shit.

I have been working to alter this flaw in myself. It is quite difficult, as it has become second nature to me. But I have begun to set agendas and follow through. My next lesson is to discover what is actionable by me and what is up to others to perform ... and to push for a conclusion from them so that I can contemplate and make my next move.

I make life sound like chess.

I suppose in some ways it is. I make a move then wait for you to make your move so that I can reassess the situation and make another move. Except rarely in life are there ever checkmates. We play to a stalemate, reset the board, and start a new game. (But this is a topic for another post ... preferably on someone else's blog. I'm not so good with this cerebral philosophical stuff.)

What's my point in all of this? I don't rightly know. Perhaps my loyal readers can help me out in the comments section.

For Those Who Know My Children ...

Random Randomness

1. My boys need new nicknames. I'll be putting thought to that.
2. Drunk people are funny. Except for when they're not. Then they're just tragic. And that's a fine line, kids.
3. People still do not know how to behave in elevators. Allow me to refresh your memory on what appropriate behavior is.
4. My favorite springtime poem since childhood, author unknown:

The spring has sprung, the grass has ris'. I wonder where de boidies is? Dey say de boid is on de wing, but dat's absoid. De wing is on de boid!

5. Battlestar Galactica is the best science fiction television series ever. And if you disagree, you're wrong. And a freedom-hating Communazislamofascist. And make the baby Jesus cry. Shame on you.
6. A man who has stopped making friends is a man who has stopped living.
7. I'm addicted to this show. Don't judge me too harshly. (There's no trend here. Really. Because ...)
8. I'm also addicted to this show and this show.
9. I still want one of these.
10. My seats rock! Yes, you may be jealous. And I have an extra seat for Thursday 01 May 2008 19:00 and Thursday 05 June 2008 19:00. Please form a single line, and I do take bribes.

Another Sleepless Night (Thank You "Mutual Friend")

I can't sleep. I wanted to sleep ... six hours ago. But I went out to hang with mutual friend. In all honesty, I had a great time. And after eight hours of reading technical documents in my living room, I really needed to get out of the house for a bit.

So I thank you, mutual friend. I truly do.

Still, sleep would have been nice.

Lately when I'm out, I find that I don't really want to be out. I go out to see friendly faces ... and faces of friends. I enjoy their company, especially the friends. They are a good comfort (and I hope "they" know who they are).

But there's something missing now. Which is why I can't sleep right now.

Don't misunderstand. I'm not the mess I've been in the past. At least not tonight. I'm very sober and very cognizant of what's happening.

I just know there's something missing. And I need to come to some sort of terms with that.

The Day Two Years In The Making

So here it was, the first professional baseball game ever played in the just-finished Nationals Park, and I am glad to report that the place is beautiful. There is still some work to do, such as installing televisions where "Future Site of Television" signs currently hang and working out those concessions issues, but all-in-all the ballpark is a success.

You can see the pictures, but they really don't do the place justice. It truly is a diamond in the crown of Washington DC (pun intended), and those involved in making it happen - the politicians who approved it, the business owners who are being taxed for it, the planners who designed it, the construction workers who built it - should feel very proud of their achievement.

Star Wars Stuff We (Sort Of) Wish We Had

NPR has a short article about Star Wars merchandise that never saw the light of day. You will find the audio slide show right here.

It's a shame, honestly. I mean, who wouldn't want Princess Leia AM/FM stereo headphones?

UPDATE: You can find the whole rejected bunch at the bottom of this Ottertorials post. Each picture is clickable so that you can get a good up-close look, much like the picture featured on this post.

(God, I want a Jedi Mood Ring ...)

To The Brim

I generally have control of my emotions and everything that goes with them, but right now ... at this moment ... with everything with which I am dealing ... I'm having a difficult time. I have moments when I just can't contain them, when they have to run loose. And right now, when I can't sleep, is one of them.

My Horoscope For Today

I read horoscopes on occassion but I don't bet any money on them. They're usually generic tripe that has nothing to do with my life. But today's is actually quite apropos:

You may be buzzing on all the energy you feel, but a deeper flow of emotions can catch you off guard, possibly even sending you into a temporary tailspin. Don't worry; you'll quickly recover as long as you acknowledge the progress you have made. Looking within doesn't necessarily require looking back. Imagine your future rather than dreaming of your past.

The Countdown Begins

Five more days and I'm free of this place. This place that I've spent the last thirty months working my butt off to make some semblance of order out of the chaos that existed before my arrival. In my time here I helped write the handbook, single-handedly wrote the operations guide, helped flesh out and documented the procedures that we use to do our day-to-day jobs here, and trained a countless people within and without my team on how to do this job. Oh, and actualy do the job at the same time.

It's been thankless and it's been stressful and it's been miserable.

But in five more days. Freedom. Sweet freedom.

The Past Week - New York City

New York City - The Big Apple - The City That Never Sleeps. If you've never been, shame on you. Everyone should go at least once in their life. I enjoy the place. But then, I'm a city mouse.

So, we went up to NYC, where my *former* roommate had worked out lodging for the evening. Now, I've been to NYC a few times. Once I stayed at a friend's small one-bedroom with my ex and two friends of ours. Once I stayed in a tiny hotel room a block from Times Square. Once I stayed at my ex's friend's sister's flat in the Fashion District. Of all the places I stayed, that last place was the one that made me pause and think "Holy shit, this is nice!"

I had no idea what I was talking about.

But we'll get to that in a few.

After the show we met Mr. NYC, his husband, and a friend of theirs at a restaurant a couple blocks down the street. The food was good, as was the wine. After dinner, we followed him back to his place. We unloaded our overnight bags and Mr. NYC asked if we wanted to go out. (Any city that you can go out to a jumping bar that is open until 4 AM on a Monday is my kind of town.) Of course we said yes. He offered to drive and we didn't object. Let's face it, how could anyone object to having the opportunity to ride in one of these, even if only for a few minutes? We all get in and he decides to show us what his ride could do.

Let me tell you what it could do ... it could do 128 MPH in Midtown Manhattan ... that's what it could do.

Now this was all good and fine except police apparently discourage driving at such high speeds in the city. Yes, we were busted by the fuzz. Who had us sit on the rear bumper of the ride while they searched the car. (To make sure we didn't have any illegal substances. Which we did not.) They give Mr. NYC a warning (a warning after getting caught doing 90 MPH) and allow us to leave. And we do. We get to a bar in Chelsea just as the drag show was finishing, fortunately. We get a round of drinks and, just as we sit in the lounge area, we were joined by some college kids who were visiting from Indiana. Good kids, all in all. We hang out until closing (at 4 AM. Did I mention that already?) and head back to the condo ... Mr. NYC, me, my *former* roommate, and our mutual friend ... and the college kids. I went immediately to bed because I was friggin' exhausted. They all stayed up until who knows when.

We woke up late on Tuesday (sans college kids, who had left at some point during the wee hours of the morning, and Mr. NYC, who had gone to work), went walking around NYC for a few hours, then headed home. Nothing terribly exciting, because we didn't really plan for it. Next time will be better.

Now about that condo -- total swank. What do I mean exactly? In this photo set, you can see pictures of the view from his condominium (the first five) and pictures of the first floor of his condominium (the next ten).

I try very hard to remain unimpressed by titles and money and things. In the end, people are people and stuff is stuff. But I have to admit that I was overwhelmed by it all. I felt so small, so insignificant. I don't ever want to have that kind of money, but I'd like to have maybe half of that kind of money. Staying there really brought home the fact that I'm so, so far away from that.

Mr. NYC was much more down-to-earth and far more gracious than his surroundings would have one believe. I'm glad I got to experience that, especially with my boys, but I don't think I would want to go through that again. Unless the person was actually a friend of mine. Then it's game on.

The Past Week - Mario Spinetti

Last Monday my *former* roommate, a mutual friend of ours, and I drove up to New York City to see a live performance by our favorite new up-and-coming artist.

The original plan was to go up, spend a few hours in the city, see the show, then drive back home. My *former* roommate managed somehow to befriend a New Yorker while he was working the Friday night before our adventure and secure a place for us to sleep that Monday night after the show. (You work it, boy!) (And more on that in a separate post a bit later today.)

So, yes, we make the drive up to NYC last Monday morning (in about 3.5 hours - go me!) and spend a few hours walking around the city. Hilarity and hijinx ensue, because we crack ourselves up. That happens when three people who share the same mind are together.

We get to Drom a bit too early. (Hey, we were expecting a crowd. And Mario said to show up early. And Mario wouldn't lie to us.) We walk in just as they began setting up for the show. At the "box office" (read: a dinner table) was who we think was Mario's manager (or he could have been the Drom manager) and ... is that? ... yes, Mario himself. We said hello and wished him luck but didn't hold a conversation. As someone who's performed in front of an audience, trust me, before a show is not the time to talk to a performer. So we grab our seats at a table front-and-center and settled in for the show.

I'm not going to go into detail about everything. I'll just say the following:

• Amature photographers at the foot of the stage snapping pictures left and right is never a good idea. Rethink the promo shots in future shows.
• The new music worked very well with the already-recorded music. The whole bunch would make a solid first LP.
• The live performances of the already-recorded music was spot on. It really did justice to the music we came to know and love.
• His band was most excellent. The live introduction to "I Was There", with the lead guitarist and the keyboardist, was incredibly moving.
• Despite the fact that my *former* roommate had to almost tackle him, once he did sit and talk with us after the show, Mario was warm and engaging. He asked for our opinions and seemed to take them to heart.
• Mario is a major hottie.

The show itself was worth the trip to NYC. We'll probably continue to make the occassional trek back up there to see future performances ... that is until he starts booking shows down here.

You can see pictures of the show here.

The Past Week - Books And Strings And Things

So, last week the PowerBook crapped out. I had to have the hard drive and the SDRAM replaced. Fortunately, the total cost (parts, labor, and shipping) was under $350. Not bad. It's still a little flakey so I'll have to take it back in to have them check the OS. (I think it may not be installed properly.)

I've been job hunting for over a year. It has only been in the past month, knowing that I would become unemployed at the end of the month, that my contacts have been working hard to help me find something. I'm sure they were working hard before (*cough cough*). After many stressful days, I can proudly say that I will have continuing employment. I've accepted a position that will challenge me and continue my growth in the IT security field. Celebrating will start tonight and continue to the end of the month. (Woo-hoo!)

Monday and Tuesday, I was in New York City with my roommate and a friend of ours. We went up to see a singer/songwriter who is pretty much just starting out in a show up there. There is much to say about that trip, which will be done in a separate post.

I also have some personal shtuff to vent. That will also be done in yet another separate post.

For now, rejoice in the return of the newly improved PowerBook and the landing of a new job.

Wish Me Luck

I haven't forgotten about telling you of this past weekend. I spent last night rebuilding my laptop and preparing for what I hope to be my final interview (where I currently am, waiting for everyone to arrive). I'll fill you in ... generically ... on this too. But for now, wish me luck.

Place-Holder Post

My-oh-my, I have a few things to discuss. There's the PowerBook, the job hunt, the weekend, and getting busted in a prostitution ring scandal ... no, wait, that wasn't me.

In any case, posts explaining everything will be done tonight. Right now, I'm up to Shaq's nipples in work.

Early Morning Smile

I love Tim Gunn. I was also once the object of romantic attention of Christian in a Baltimore bar one night last year (when he was still an undiscovered and underaged local talent) and enjoyed his company. Seeing this clip brought a much-needed smile to my face this morning. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did.

Talk Of The Town

I like attention. I like having all eyes on me. I like being the topic of conversation. Except when it's for reasons other than my rugged good looks, my smarmy charm, and my disarming humor.

Let me just put this out there for whomever it may concern:

I am glad to discuss things of utmost importance. I will talk about the demons between us that should be exorcised. (Because, let's face it, who wants fat demons?) I will be happy to kick about the various ways we can end world hunger, join all religions in the ultimate Kumbaya, and be the salve for the pains of all people. I would even consider opining at length about the state of politics, finance, and health care in the world today. We can hold these debates at any coffee shop or restaurant of our choosing.

But I will never again have a serious conversation within the confines of a House of Music. I am there to enjoy a drink (or four), forget my daily stresses, and *perhaps* dance a bit. If approached on a serious topic, I will simply walk away.

I hope we are all clear on this.

Ten Thoughts to Ponder

1. Life is sexually transmitted.
2. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
3. Men have two emotions, hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
4. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
5. Some people are like a Slinky - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
6. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
7. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
8. Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30?
9. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
10. We know exactly where one cow with Mad Cow Disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration?

Bonus Thought:
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers - what you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

Study Shows That ... Zzz ...

I would share my thoughts about this story but I'm just too tired right now.

UPDATE:
If only I had done this ...

Them's My Boys!

In today's Weekend section of The Washington Post, NightLife covers late-night eats around the city. And, lo and behold, there featured in the third picture in the slideshow are my boys Mark and Charlie! To quote Charlie, "How glam and tragic at the same time."

True that, my friend. True that.

Royals At War

Okay. First, WOOF! Second, good for him. Third, shame on the media for reporting the story.

I do understand the need to know, but this really isn't something that is a need to know. Perhaps the fact the he was serving overseas was something of which people should be aware, but what and where exactly should have been handled as TOP SECRET information. Whoever leaked this should be prosecuted.

Or maybe that's just me.

Thank You, Daddy! May I Have Another?

I'm sorry but I don't buy the results of this analysis. I would venture to guess that the majority of my generation was subjected to some form of corporal punishment in our childhood. (What is the plural of childhood? Childhood? Childhoods? Childrenhood?) But I doubt that the majority of that majority turned out to be kinky sex fiends. Hell, the fastest way to turn me off is to get rough with me. (Not that you needed to know that.)

All I Wanted Was A Cup O' Joe

How difficult is it to make coffee? For some people, it's difficult enough that it requires three hours of additional training.

*sigh*

Here, I'll make it simple for you.

Coffee Instructions:

1 12-cup filter drip coffee maker.
1 coffee filter.
12 cups of cold water.
4 tablespoons of ground coffee beans, not instant.


1. Open lid.
2. Place coffee filter into coffee maker filter basket.
3. Pour ground coffee into coffee filter.
4. Pour water into coffee maker water reservoir.
5. Close lid.
6. Make sure that pitcher is placed securely underneath the drip.
7. Turn on coffee maker.
8. When coffee has finished dripping into pitcher, serve hot in coffee mug. Add sweetener and creamer to taste.
   
   Total time = 10 minutes.

There. Now you know more than some people.

Things Will Be Better When ...

How did you finish that sentence?

Write it down and take a good, long look at it. Think about it. Meditate on it. Take your time with it.

Do you honestly believe what you wrote?

You do?

Really?

I want you to take another moment now. Think about the last time you thought "things will be better when ...".

Did things get better?

They did?

Well ...

... if they did ...

... why is it that you're still looking toward "when"?

A Long Week

And where have you been, Mr. Man? HMM?!

Yes, I've been a bit MIA the past week. There had been a lot on my plate, mentally and emotionally, which left no room for creative writing. But we're back now ... mostly ... and I'll have a few semi-important things to say in the coming days.

And if you're good boys and girls, I might have something later today for you. If not, it's off to bed without dessert for you.

Like, Total Randomness, Y'know?

1. I am treated far too kindly by people who barely know me.
2. I love my ex and am saddened that we find ourselves where we are today.
3. There is too much unsettlement in my life at the moment.
4. Waiting for other things to happen so I can proceed sucks (and not in a good way).
5. Mario Spinetti rocks my socks. (Hey, Mario, where's the full-length album already?)
6. I still hate exercising. Cardio sucks. (But waiting still sucks more.)
7. Jim Zorn? Okay, if you say so. We'll see how that works out. At least I have something to be excited about right now.
8. I'm already hoping that Obama wins the White House so that, after his first veto, I can start using my newly coined term ... Barak-ade©! (As in, the latest bill passed by Congress was Barak-aded© by the White House.)

I'm Shocked. Are You Shocked?

"Remember all that stuff I said on Wednesday? Well, it wasn't exactly what I meant. What I meant was ..."

The Populist Mayor Comes Around

I would love to know what prompted this shift in position at the mayor's office. Don't get me wrong, I have been a supporter of this idea from the beginning and have always thought that it would be good for the city, for D.C. United, and for the residents of Ward 8. But Mayor Fenty had been so adamantly against using public funding for private stadiums ... well, it just makes me wonder.

Happy St. Valentine's Day

Image taken from here

The Potomac Primary

Hopefully all of you Republicans and Democrats are out there pulling levers, pushing buttons, and marking exes in blood on your ballots. Those of us who are not affiliated to either party are, unfortunately, left to watch the election process at this point.

(No, I will not register for any party that does not share the bulk of my ideals just so I can whittle a number of candidates down to one. I'll wait until the general election, thank you very much.)

I only ask one favor of you who do get to vote ... please don't screw this up for the rest of us.

Happy voting!

Why I Hate why.i.hate.dc

Once upon a time, I happened across a blog site. This blog site was written by a fellow tagged "James F." and he dedicated his corner of the web to being critical of the District. What made his blog readable was his sense of humor, his wry observations, and his wit. More often than not his tirades pissed me off (because I happen to love D.C.) yet I could not help but chuckle at his posts.

"James F." has since moved on to other places (Seattle, to be specific) and, after an extensive auditioning period, he passed his mantle on to a new blogger. This new blogger, "Rusty", would maintain the venom, wit, and humor that readers had come to expect from the blog site, "James F." reassured his readers.

"Rusty" is the anti-"James F.", as it turns out. He has no sense of humor. His posts lack wit. Most of the time, "Rusty" displays the cynicism that often creeps into District transplants after a few years.

why.i.hate.dc has become quite painful to read. It seems that "Rusty" posts just to have something to complain about, without applying any time to find the humor in things that "James F." showed. A good example would be the most recent post about the Washington Post employees who are currently running a campaign against the paper to shame it into acting fairly in regards to wages, raises, and pensions. "Rusty" is upset about how the Farragut North Metro Station is plastered with WashingtonPostUnfair.com advertisements. That's it. No snarky comments. No sharp retorts. Just wholesale bitching. A missed opportunity, if you ask me (which you didn't).

How is that remotely entertaining?

Most of the comments on the site since "Rusty" took over have been about how the site has gone downhill and how "Rusty" should just shut up. Personally, I think "Rusty" should keep blogging. Cry-baby whining aside, he does point out some things that should be pointed out.

But I also think he should spend a day watching this man to see how complaining should be done.

Rainy Day Metro (Or, My Underwater Adventure)

I take Metrobus to and from work every day. When probable, I take Metrobus to get into the city proper. I do this for three different reasons:

1. It saves gas and wear-and-tear on my car.
2. The Metrorail station is too far to walk.
3. A Metrobus stop is right in front of my building.

I generally don't have any complaints about the bus. It's been fairly reliable (although a bit erratic during non-rush hours) and, in my experience, been fairly clean and safe.

But the ride home from work today was different. My bus was ... how shall we say ... not up to snuff. I understand that Metrobus funding, even more so than Metrorail funding, leaves much to be desired. I understand that some buses in the Metrobus fleet are a bit long in the tooth. But when, on a rainy day such as today, the bus is leakier than the Bush Administration ... well, I think it's time to retire that bus.

I submit to you the following for evidence:

PEOPLE'S EXHIBIT A

Notice how the metal bar is rusted and pulling from the roof. This, my friends, is the breach in the bus. This is the origin of the waterfall. This is dangerous.

PEOPLE'S EXHIBIT B

See that white streak along the left side of the blue roof (near the hand hold)? Water!

I know what you're thinking. So what? So water's dripping from the ceiling. At points it was just dripping. At other points it was ... um ... more than dripping. Which leads us to ...

PEOPLE'S EXHIBIT C

These seats were across-ish from me. Both seats, if you look closely, have pools of water in them. I counted about 11 seats on the bus with such pools of water, making them unusable. This bus had 1/3 of the seats unusable on a busy bus during rush hour. Unacceptable!

And just so that you can see more clearly for yourselves, here, my final exhibit, is a closer look at one of these seats.

PEOPLE'S EXHIBIT D

This was one of the smaller pools. You would seriously need a squeegee and a beach towel to dry these seats off enough to make them useable for passengers.

Seriously, Metro, let's do something about this, huh? I know Metrorail gets most of the love, but you've got a large ridership on Metrobus too. How's about you not forget about us people either?

Latest AIDS News

File this latest news from Switzerland under WTF?!:

The Swiss National AIDS Commission said patients who meet strict conditions, including successful antiretroviral treatment to suppress the virus and who do not have any other sexually transmitted diseases, do not pose a danger to others.

Charlie Gilks, director of AIDS treatment and prevention at the World Health Organization, thinks this might be a tad bit irresponsible:

He said WHO was concerned that the Swiss proposal could be misinterpreted to imply that everybody who is on treatment can have unprotected sex.

"It may be fine for Switzerland, it may be fine for a few other countries who have similar small numbers of patients who are very carefully followed up," said Gilks. "But from our point of view globally, we are not going to be changing our recommendations."

But I tend to agree with the following:

"Not only is (the Swiss proposal) dangerous, it's misleading and it is not considering the implications of the biological facts involved with HIV transmission," said Jay Levy, director of the Laboratory for Tumor and AIDS Virus Research at the University of California in San Francisco.

In other words, don't be a dumbass! Either practice abstinence or, if you are going to have sex, use a condom each time every time.

Say A Little Prayer

I don't know in what god you believe. I don't know in what you place your faith. I don't know to whom you pray.

Whatever your spiritual calling (or non-calling) happens to be, my household could really use whatever positive energy you can send this way.

Thank you in advance.

The End Of A Disturbing Ad Campaign

Kudos to Wendy's for ending its appetite-killing, red-pigtailed commercials. Of all of the fast food restaurants out there, Wendy's is my strong Number Two after Chipotle ...

(... mmm ... Burrito Bowl ...)

*wipes drool from chin*

... but their commercials almost turned me away.

Almost.

I'm glad to see that they're righting an egregious wrong and focusing on their delicious food instead of some stomach-turning gimmick.

Now, if only a certain other company would rethink its commercials, all might be well on D.C. airwaves.

A Little Reminder

Here is yet another reason why I *heart* Sinfest:

Brain ... Melting ... Urge To Kill ... Rising ...

So, in the last twenty minutes, I was subjected to four ... count them - FOUR ... Koons Toyota commercials. (Two sets of two. BACK TO BACK. I know you feel my pain.) Now it was bad enough that I had to endure Krystal Koons' raspy, inflection-free voice on WTOP every five minutes during my rush hour drives to Chantilly and back. But to have to see her emotionless, android-like, CGI face FOUR TIMES IN TWENTY MINUTES is more punishment than a death row inmate (or Lindsay Lohan) should have to bear.

Major local television stations, please ... PLEASE ... stop this madness. It's bad enough that The CW runs those horrid "Law Offices of Peter G. Angelos, PC" commercials. (Peter Angelos. Oh the gall.) They can be forgiven because ... well, because they're The CW and they need whatever revenue flow they can find. But FOX5? Shame on you.

Cloverfield - The Spoiler-Free-ish Review

Okay. I witnessed the event of the year last night. (Hey! It's only January! Settle down over there!) How was it, you might be wondering.

Let me start by stating that I was early. Very early. Disturbing geeky fanboy early. First one in line early. I didn't plan or want to be; it just happened that events worked it that way for me. After waiting for *mumble* hours, I finally grabbed my seat.

I hate commercials at the theater. Can I just tell you that? I can understand sitting through them for free television. (You know, the kind you get with your rabbit ears? The kind that won't work after this goes into effect?) But I'm paying a pretty penny to sit and watch movies in a movie theater. Ixnay ethay ommercialscay. I figured we're close enough for me to share that. Thanks.

But to the movie.

Oh, another thing. I am seriously unnerved by people who actually try to be first in line at things like this. These are the same people who will spend hours debating the damage points of a Dark Mage who possesses the mystica ... whatever. It's just a movie and you will get a seat. Calm the fuck down, dork.

Huh? Oh. Right. The movie.

By the way. I may have been early enough to be first in line. But I wasn't first in line. Or second. Or third. I was seventh. So suck it.

Anyway. The damn commercials are over and the trailers begin. Generally, I enjoy trailers. Sure some ... okay, most ... of them are crap and some of them over-sell their movie. It's an art, making trailers. The prime example is the trailer for Cloverfield - the first one, shown before Transformers. It is the only trailer I've ever seen where my only reaction was "What the fuck was THAT?!" That's how all trailers should be. The trailers we saw tonight? If you watched I Am Legend in the theater, you've seen these trailers already.

What was I talking about? Movie. Right.

Ooo ... except for one trailer. A teaser for the new Star Trek movie was shown. Thirty seconds of the USS Enterprise under construction. Which is what the text on the screen said - "UNDER CONSTRUCTION". Like the movie still is. Witty, that J.J. Abrams.

I still haven't told you anything about the movie, have I? Hmm, let's see what I can say without really saying anything.

I didn't view it as "America's Godzilla", as Mr. Abrams had envisioned. This movie didn't have the underlying social commentary that Godzilla had. (And if it did, I completely missed it. I certainly didn't get the connection to 9/11 that some people had been suggesting.) The monster was also very cat-and-mouse, as the director said in interviews it would be. The big reveal didn't come until almost the end of the movie, and even that left viewers wanting more. (A cheap trick to ensure a sequel, perhaps?)

Also, if Blair Witch Project made you motion sick or gave you a headache, you should take something before seeing this movie. The camerawork didn't bother me too much.

Did I like it? Eh ... I wasn't blown away by the movie, but I'd see it again. There were some things in it that I really wish had been different. I believe that the film makers could have impressed the same sense of intimacy and confusion on the movie watchers without using the "handheld recorder" device. To me, it made the movie seem very amateur and a little hard to follow. Additionally, I was so annoyed by some characters that I wished they died much earlier and in extremely painful ways. But they didn't. (I suppose that's true in real life, too.)

I would also like to add that if you're billing this as a "giant monster beats down New York City like Ike Turner beat down Tina" movie, then I expect to see more destruction as it's happening, not the aftermath of the destruction. While character investment is a good thing in most movies, no one really gives a flip about the characters in a monster movie. Characters in movies like this are expendable, like EMI employees (ZING!); it's all about the monster and what destruction said monster inflicts on humanity.

There were a lot of very cool and extremely tense moments, enough to justify a second viewing by me. The monster (Mr. Grumpy Pants, or MGP, as some sites call it) is pretty wicked. Some of the scenes made me gasp. Out loud. And I was rather satisfied with the ending.

It isn't everything the hype has made it out to be, but I do recommend that you see it. (Preferrably on the Big Screen.) Then come back here and share your thoughts in the comments section.

HGTV Change The World Communities - The Results

HGTV has announced the winners of its Change The World contest. Thanks to all who voted ... Anacostia made the list!

You now have the opportunity to volunteer at the efforts chosen for Anacostia. More information on those efforts can be found here.

Elevator Etiquette

Elevators are a necessary evil. We all have to use them at some point and none of us are terribly excited about sharing such close quarters with complete strangers. That said, please show some respect to your fellow riders by showing the following courtesies.

1. Do not fart on the elevator. Ever.
2. Hold the door for those coming in behind you. Immediately walking to the back and looking at the floor does not abdicate you of this. You aren't the only one who has to use this thing, you selfish prick.
3. Unless you have some physical disability or limitation, do not take the elevator for trips of fewer than two floors. It pisses people off. Really.
4. Save those disturbing personal conversations for other small enclosed areas ... like your office.
5. Your cell phone won't work in the elevator. Put it away.

Your friends, coworkers, and other assorted persons thank you in advance.

A Quick Vent

I might have made different decisions if I knew then what I know now. I might not have tethered myself so solidly to this rock. I might have left myself a little breathing room. I might have given myself options.

But I didn't know and I made the best decisions I could for the way things were. Things seemed so eternal then. Life seemed set then. Choices seemed like such a given then. Going "all in" seemed like a smart move then.

I do not regret the choices made. I am not sad about the way things are now, although I do still cry sometimes. I do not wish that things had turned out other than they are; life happens the way it is supposed to happen despite our best efforts to will it differently.

Hmm.

Actually, I would probably make the same decisions if I were given a do-over.

But sometimes the noose feels so tight and I start to second-guess myself again.

What Ever Happened To ... ?

Mmm ... Foamy Flakes.

iRuh-Oh!

For a company that promotes its products as more secure than certain other products, this certainly doesn't bode well. It seems as though a crack has appeared in the dam. It will only be a matter of time before a flood ensues.

Get ahead of the curve here, Great And Powerful One, lest you become as He Who Shall Not Be Named.

A Question Posed

It was a simple, common question. We have all asked it at some point or another in our lives. Answered positively, it can fuel a disappointment or feed an ego. Answered to the negative, it can face regret or relief. Thus is the wily nature of the question.

In giving an answer to the question, I would be transferring the burden from one to many. We have so much care in our lives as it is; there is no need to add to the load. And when it comes to certain aspects of my life, I would rather prevent the boat from rocking. It is a flaw of mine. I know that is not necessarily a valid reason. I know it is a crappy copout of an excuse. For better or worse, however, it is my gut reaction and the course I have taken.

Though I suppose that if the question were formed differently or if I were pressed to answer, I would yield.

But if we were being completely honest with ourselves, the question would not have been asked in the first place ... because you already know the answer.

Happy Election Year

With the Primary season having begun last week, I am serving a friendly reminder for all District residents to vote this year. It is true that D.C. votes count about as much as legal advice for Britney Spears, but it is your civic duty and there are a great many people in this world who do not have such luxuries.

New Year, New Look

Happy New Year 2008, everyone.

The turn of a new year (and hopefully a turn of fortunes) has prompted me to change the ol' blog site a little. Nothing fancy, just a fresh coat of paint and some minor rearranging. I've been playing with the layout for a few days now and I think it's just about right. What do you think?

Final Thoughts And Future Trusts

Reflections by Robert S. Bise

Reflections of the days gone by …
In time we can recall
The laughter, tears and loneliness;
We learn to embrace them all.
Actions kill the words we say.
They die without a sound.
Time, in turn, can heal all wounds
If time can be found.

Another year has passed and we stand at the threshold of a new one. It is at this time that we traditionally take a moment to look back upon where we have been and to try to divine where we are headed.

The past year was not a terribly good one for me. Over the past 364 days I have lived through the definitive end of my relationship, soldiered through a soul-sucking job, fallen for an unrequited love, and wrestled with many personal demons and insecurities. More often than not I wanted to throw in the towel and lock myself away indefinitely.

One can only hope that years such as this one are thrust upon us so that we may learn something and move toward becoming a better, more complete person. To have to live through such a painful year with no bright side to grasp … that would only add insult to injury. I hold onto hope that the personal suffering through which I have lived can only serve me well in the future.

I am not saying that all of 2007 was bad. There are things on which I can fondly reflect and there are things that I will be glad to carry with me into 2008. I have been fortunate enough to meet and befriend a few new persons who can only but enrich my life. As for some old friends with whom I have fallen out of contact over the years, we have been rebuilding those connections and for that I am grateful. And for an unexpected treat ... a peanut in my caramel corn, if you will ... I have been blessed with the companionship of a kindred spirit, who I pray will continue to be a large part of my life for many years to come.

I cannot predict what 2008 will bring, as I am still seeing through the fog of 2007. But if some of my experiences over the past couple months are any indicator, I will encounter a much more positive new year.

So here is to a happy new year, for all of 2008.

To My Faithful Readers (And Those Who Have Stumbled In)

I won't have time to write any more posts before Christmas Day so please allow me to wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas. I hope that it will be filled with peace and joy and that you will be surrounded by the warmth of those you love and those who love you.

"Wizards In Winter" by Trans-Siberian Orchestra

More Christmas-y Goodness

I hope you enjoyed reading about my least and most favorite Christmas songs. I'm sure you didn't agree with all of them, as things like that tend to be a bit subjective at best. And that's okay with me. If you think I erred in my judgment, well, you can write your own lists. Make sure to let me know so I can mercilessly heckle you.

But just because the lists are finished doesn't mean my Christmas postings are. In fact, I have a fantastic rant from one of my favorite online stops. Be warned -- the language is explicit. Don't listen to this at work or in any other place where foul language may be frowned upon.

Now, once you've holed yourself into a safe location, click here and enjoy!

Most Favorite Christmas Song #1

My Number One Most Favorite Christmas Song is one of the most widely recognized Christmas songs ever.

It is performed by choirs, by orchestras, and even by popular bands. It is played on radio stations spanning classical music to hard rock.

It conjures images of snowfall and cozy fires and midnight masses. It warms the heart and brightens the face. It, quite possibly more than any other song for this holiday season, puts one in the Christmas spirit.

Song Number One is the quintessential Christmas tune. It is "Carol Of The Bells".

You can hear it here (Windows Media Player required).

Most Favorite Christmas Song #2

I might lose some of you on my final two picks because they aren't popular recordings or standard carols. But they are Christmas songs nonetheless and I happen to enjoy them both very much. (I have also had the pleasure of performing them as well, which endears them to me even more so.)

Song Number Two on the list is a choral piece by Ralph Vaughn Williams called "Wassail". It's a four-part choral arrangement (that would be "written for soprano, alto, tenor, and bass" for those of you not in-the-know out there) that takes off in a very light-spirited romp from the beginning for the duration of the song. It's a fun listen and it's fun to sing.

You can hear it here (RealAudio required).

Most Favorite Christmas Song #3

Written in 1864, the next song was a penned cry of sorrow from its author. Song Number Three on the most favorite list is "I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. There are three different arrangements of this song, but my favorite was composed by Johnny Marks.

The words are teeming with gloom. While the rarely-sung fourth and fifth stanzas refer to the Civil War, we can still use them as metaphors for all the tumult in the world today. The song's sadness crescendos with the following stanza:

And in despair I bowed my head:
"There is no peace on earth," I said;
"For hate is strong
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men."

But it's the next verse that is the reason this song resonates so strongly with me. After all hope seemed lost, after the last flicker of goodness seemed extinguished, this is how Longfellow ends:

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep,
"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep!
The wrong shall fail,
The right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men!"

To truly feel the despair and the hope conveyed in this song, I strongly recommend that you listen to the Harry Belafonte recording.

Most Favorite Christmas Song #4

It's difficult, nearly impossible, to write a Christmas song that can stand the test of time and compare to the Christmas favorites of years past. So many present-day recording stars have tried their hands at making a Christmastime classic; the vast majority of these attempts have failed miserably. So it is a thing of joyous rapture when we get to witness someone hit one out of the park. Thirteen years ago, we were treated to such an occurrence.

Yes, this song is extremely commercial. In fact, as Christmas songs go, it may very well be one of the highest consistently charting songs ever recorded (based on these statistics). But its commercial success does not distract from its simple beauty, joy, and message -- that, in the end, love and companionship is what most of us want more than anything else at this time of year.

My Number Four favorite Christmas song is a little ditty recorded by Mariah Carey titled "All I Want For Christmas Is You".

HGTV Change The World Communities

HGTV is currently running a web contest focused on neighborhood-level revitalization programs. It asks web page visitors to vote to determine which city/neighborhood receives substantial funding and in-kind support for a major revitalization project. One of the communites chosen is Anacostia! According to the webpage, you "make your voting decision by exploring video, photos and stories highlighting revitalization projects" listed on the page. You can vote once a day up until next Friday, 21 December 2007.

Go vote for DC!

Most Favorite Christmas Song #5

My Number Five favorite Christmas song brings a smile to my face every time I hear it. It doesn't matter how foul the mood, how evil the weather, or how bad the day. Just one listen to this song and everything is right with the world again.

Besides, how can you not grin when you hear "hippopotamuseses"?

That's right, starting the Most Favorite Christmas Song list is "I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas". It's about as cheery a song as you can possibly get.

(Hippopotamuseses ... *giggle*)

Least Favorite Christmas Song #1

Here it is, folks, my Number One Least Favorite Christmas Song! I can feel your relief radiating through my monitor right now. So let's get to it, shall we?

It was 23 years ago that this lump of pious coal was left in our stocking. We couldn't blame Santa for this because this was the 1980's and we were all so busy saving the whales and the rain-forest and ... oh yes ...

... Africa.

Our eyes were turned over the Atlantic Ocean to the devastation occurring in the East African country of Ethiopia. This song was written as a way to raise funds for the people of Ethiopia -- a very noble sentiment and one that raised around $144 million in its first incarnation. It saw life again in 1989 and again in 2004 (money raised in 2004 went to humanitarian aid for Sudan), where millions more were raised. Not bad for a crappy song.

If you haven't guessed already, the song is "Do They Know It's Christmas?" by Band Aid (and Band Aid II and Band Aid 20), written by Sir Bob Geldof and Midge Ure. Don't get me wrong, the causes for which it was recorded are laudable. But the song ... oh, the song. Let's look at some lyrics.

It's Christmastime
There's no need to be afraid
At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime

So far so good.

But say a prayer
Pray for the other ones
At Christmastime it's hard, but when you're having fun

Uh-oh. I feel a sermon coming on.

There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging
chimes of doom

Um, being a bit overly-dramatic aren't we, Mr. Geldof? I'm sure you could have found a better phrasing than equating Christmas bells to clanging chimes of doom. Certainly a wordsmith such as yourself could have done this more poetic justice, yes?

Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you

WHOA! For a song that's supposed to marshall the financial troops, I'm not sure that a "better you than me" attitude is really appropriate. I thought the idea here was to feel a pang of sympathy for the people we're supposed to be helping, not superiority.

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime

I would normally let a line like this pass since, with a land mass as large as Africa, it must snow somewhere sometime. However, this song was written for the people of Ethiopia. And snowfall in Ethiopia isn't what one would call a routine experience.

The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

The Christian ones probably do. Not so much the Muslim ones.

(Here's to you) raise a glass for everyone
(Here's to them) underneath that burning sun
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

I can't knock these lines. I'm all for toasting someone. And I've already commented on whether they know it's Christmas or not.

Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmastime again

Again. I'm sure the Christians would appreciate the reminder. I'm also sure the Muslim population couldn't care.

Because it's Christmastime, a time for giving, it is not enough for me to share my thoughts on my Number One Least Favorite Christmas Song. No. In the spirit of the season, I will offer you this little trinket and allow you to come to your own decision. Enjoy!

Least Favorite Christmas Song #2

My least favorite Christmas song Number Two, which is technically not a Christmas song at all, comes from one of my least favorite musicals. But it has become a seasonal standard due to its imagery (and perhaps even its title). What is this horrid song, you might be wondering? Why none other than "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music.

Oh, I know I'll catch flack for this one because so-o-o-o many people enjoy this song (and this musical).

Here is the one and only reason it has made this list ... it's not a song of, about, or for Christmas in any way, shape, or form! In the movie version of the musical (you know, the one shown non-stop on television at this time of year), this song is sung to comfort the children during a thunderstorm. A thunderstorm ... which, in Austria, occurs during ... the summer!

Really, people, get over it already. Sheesh.

Least Favorite Christmas Song #3

The last thing I want to hear at Christmas is whining, which is why "Last Christmas" by WHAM! made our Number Three. Look no further than the opening lines (which also happens to be the chorus) for enough kvetching to last all of Chanukah and Christmas and Yule and Kwanzaa and Winter Solstice and whatever other festival you want to throw in there during this time of year:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away.
This year, to save me from tears,
I'll give it to someone special.

"I'll give it to someone special"? Wasn't the person to whom you gave it last year special? What makes you think we won't have to hear your bellyaching next year because the new Mr. Special decided to return your gift, too?

Ugh.

Least Favorite Christmas Song #4

You would think that a catchy tune wouldn't appear on the list but our entry at Number Four is the most famous Hispanic Christmas song ever, "Feliz Navidad" by José Feliciano. It earns a spot on my list for two reasons:

1. It is repetitious ... unforgivably so ... brain-damagingly so ... in the same way that this song is repetitious.
2. The lyrics are a lesson in lazy song-writing. Seriously. Look at the words. They consist of two ... count them two ... lines. That's it.

Least Favorite Christmas Song #5

At Number Five, everyone's least favorite Christmastime song (or at least it should be) is "The Twelve Days of Christmas".

It's pervasive ubiquitousness during the holiday season and the impression that singing the song will literally take twelve days to complete are enough to land it on the list. But the real reason why it's here is best explained by my favorite Executive/Action Transvestite:

That “Partridge in a pear tree” song, the only bit we like of it is that, (singing) "Five gold rings!" People go berserk at that point! People come running in from other rooms, (singing) "Five gold rings!" The rest of it, we don't know; above that, it's just, (singing, uncertain) "Twelve… monkeys mating, eleven… donkeys dancing, ten pigmies farming, nine… socks… a swimming… (certain) five gold rings!" This is a human thing. We only like to learn a little bit of a song. We can't be bothered, yeah.

Lists That Will Span Several Days

I've decided that in the spirit of the season I will list my five favorite and five least favorite songs of the season. We'll start with my five least favorites and then, logically, my five favorites. Both lists will be done in no particular order and will start tomorrow. I do hope you enjoy.

For One Night - EXPLICIT

My soul is tired. My spirit is broken and cannot pull itself back together again. Goddamned horses and men. Some days it is all that I can do to keep my brave face. But this cannot last for much longer. The strength I once had is diminished.

For one night, I want to feel weak and cry until my eyes bleed. For one night, I want someone to hold me - not to fuck but to fucking be there. For one night, I want someone to say, "I know you are strong, but you cannot be strong always. Rest on me. Let me hold back the hurt for you for tonight." For one night, I want to be swallowed in my sorrow. For one motherfucking night, I want to be someone other than myself.

Maybe, just maybe then, when the sun rises on the morning after that one night, I can finally leave this darkness ... this dankness that has been hanging on me like an oversized trench-coat ... I can leave it all on the floor where I can capture it in the vacuum and throw it out with the onion skins and empty milk cartons and shredded junk mail.

World AIDS Day 2007

Join Whitman-Walker Clinic for World AIDS Day. Remember those lost. Cherish those still living. Renew hope for a future free of HIV/AIDS. Whitman-Walker Clinic's observances for World AIDS Day are as follows:

Annual Candlelight Vigil. Friday, Nov. 30, at 5:30 pm at Dupont Circle. Candles and holders provided.

On Thursday, Nov. 29, Kimpton Hotels will host "Red Hot Night” in the Nation's Capital, with a World AIDS Day fundraiser at Urbana Restaurant & Wine Bar at Hotel Palomar, 2121 P Street, NW, at 6:00 pm. All proceeds will benefit Whitman-Walker Clinic.

Free HIV testing will be available on Friday, Nov. 30, at the Elizabeth Taylor Medical Center, 1701 14th Street, NW, from 8:30 am-5:00 pm; at the Max Robinson Center, 2301 Martin Luther King Jr. Avenue, SE, from 9:30 am-4:00 pm; and at Whitman-Walker Clinic of Northern Virginia, 5232 Lee Highway in Arlington, from 8:00 am-5:00 pm.

The “Our Heroes” photo exhibit will be on display at the Metropolitan Community Church, 464 Ridge Street, NW, and on Dec. 1 at the Human Rights Campaign, 1640 Rhode Island Avenue, NW.

Late Night (Early Morning) Confessional

You would think that a post at 2:50 AM would have been written by a drunk person. Fortunately that is not the case. So here it is - my confessional:

1. I am in love with someone who isn't in love with me.
2. I still seek the approval of people who are no longer around to grant it.
3. I am stung to my soul by words that I should be able to shrug off.
4. I don't have the capacity to be selfish; others are always put first.
5. I feel every second of my age.
6. I cry. Often. When no one else is around.
7. I have goals but am far too lazy and/or discouraged to achieve them.
8. I would rather be a singer.
9. I am kinder to people than I should be.
10. I am still haunted by the ghost of a lover past.

Are You Ready For The Holidays?

A casual stroll through the local mall should remind you that Christmas is coming and you'd better be getting ready.

I was at my gym this evening and had just finished a very trying run. I stepped around to where the towels were because, you know, I had to wipe my sweaty mess off of the elliptical I used. I turned the corner and there he was. Father Christmas. On a treadmill. At first I was a bit confused. Isn't Saint Nick supposed to have a belly like a bowl full of jelly? According to myth, yes. But then I thought ... athletes have to train for their events, right? It makes sense that the man who has to deliver presents to all the good children of the world in one night also needs to be in peak condition. He may still be round, but I bet he's in great cardio shape.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. And the Jolly Ol' Elf is getting in shape for the big day.

MSNBC Asks "What Really Killed the Dinosaurs?"

What really killed the dinosaurs? I'll give you a hint. It was death.

A Bit of Self-Assessment

NOTE: All conversations are being drawn from memory and may not be quoted exactly right, but the meaning is the same.

Last week ... Halloween night, of all nights ... I was out with some friends, one of whom I haven't spent time with in over a year. In fact, the last time I spent time with this particular friend, he was going through a difficult time and I gave him a place to crash for a little bit.

We reminisced about that point in his life. During our walk down memory lane, he looked at me and said, "Thank you for helping me out then. You really have no idea how difficult that period of my life was and how much that little act of kindess helped me get through it. It put me where I am today, in a much better place. And here you are again doing it for someone else."

That brief interaction hit me hard. I spent the rest of the night in a funk, although I'm sure no one around me knew it. I couldn't help but think that maybe, perhaps, I am destined to remain single all the rest of my days acting as a guide, a Samaritan for those I come across who need a helping hand to pull them out of the dark places in which they may find themselves.

I should have taken it as a compliment. It should have gladdened my heart. It should have lifted my spirits. But it didn't. I felt sorrier for myself. I felt more alone.

Seven days have passed since that night. I have had the benefit of space to reflect on it and its meaning.

And I've come to the realization that it is a good thing. What I did for him. What I'm doing for someone else now. My role in this world.

Fortune may smile on me one day and deliver to me someone who can love me, put up with me, stand by me, break me down and build me up. But if that should never come to pass I am still fortunate.

I have a lot of love to give. And I have chosen to freely give that love to those who need it. It no longer matters to me how long or how short their stop in my life is. It no longer matters to me if our relationship is platonic or romantic or simply in-passing.

It only matters to me that I can give. And I will gladly do so.

And Now, Some Music

If this doesn't move you, you should check your pulse. Here are two separate performances of a classic Beatles tune with solos by guitar gods.

Personal Randomness

I can't expect you to understand this but ...

... when you've been rejected after (insert number here) years in a relationship that ends of no agreement of your own, you can't help but think that there is something wrong with you. It tints the way you look at life and people from that point onward, for right or wrong. That is where I stand right now.

I see myself in such a scewed way that no one would want me ... something that logically I know better.

What does one do in a like position?

Note to Ruffians

If you're going to take the time to break my car window, at least do me the honor of taking something ... the radio, the steering wheel, the car ... anything. It's disrespectful to break and run.

Punkassbitches.

Happy International Talk Like A Pirate Day

Returning to Your Routines

The Washington Post is reporting today that the Frederick Douglas Bridge (a.k.a South Capitol Street Bridge) is reopening tomorrow. This is great news for those poor souls who must commute into the city from southern Prince George's County and Charles County. This is even greater news for those of us who live in Anacostia, who have had to put up with these displaced drivers for the past couple months.

Kudos to Corman Construction for completing the project ahead of time!

This Is Your Brain on Drugs

I know I'm going to sound like every whiny tourist and transplant right now. I know that, having been born and raised here, I should know better than to complain about the heat in August. But, lordy lordy lordy, this is certainly what my head felt like both times I stepped outside today. My answer to such oppressive, soupy, crawl-inside-the-marrow-of-your-bones heat? Stay inside as much as possible.

My heart-felt sympathy for anyone who had no choice but to be out in this today.

Paralysis

I'm in a bad way.

I'm a creature ruled by reason, led by logic, controlled by his head. Yet here I find myself in a position in which I didn't plan or really want to be. It wasn't so long ago that I was abandoned and didn't know it until too late. That feeling of rejection, after giving my lifeblood for so long, was such a heavy weight to carry. I thought I would carry it well into my forties. But here, now, I find myself at a crossroads.

On the one side, I can walk with reckless abandon. I can release my pain to the universe and accept redemption.

On the other side, I can shut myself further inside this self-imposed box and feed on my personal darkness.

And straight ahead, I can allow healing to a point. I can swallow those most intimate and exposing parts and only give what is easily seen.

I want to say what should be said. I want to give the opportunity a chance. One can never know the thoughts of others unless one takes the risk.

But I do not want to be the only one climbing out on that limb. I had been left out there alone before when it was cut.

I don't know what to do here.

I am paralyzed with indecision.

So You Wanna Sing?

The Washington Nationals and ESPN Zone are holding a contest for a singer.

Anthem Idol at ESPN Zone

Ready for your moment in the spotlight? Get ready to grab a microphone and sing your heart out at ESPN Zone’s Anthem Idol competition, coming Wednesday, July 11th at 6 p.m., and you could be singing the national anthem at an upcoming Nationals game!

Enter today: Stop by ESPN Zone’s SportsCenter Studio Store to reserve your spot in the competition today! The competition will be limited to the first 100 entrants.

On stage: At the event, each contestant will sing 30 seconds of any song (not the national anthem, please). After all the performances, our panel of judges will narrow the field to five finalists, each of whom will take the stage once more, this time to sing the national anthem.

Help decide the winner: Our panel of judges will provide feedback and cast their votes, which will count for half of the final results. The other half, however, comes straight from the fans. Come on out and support your favorite singers, and help them win the chance to sing at a Nats game!

Questions? Please email comments@espnzone.com or call (202) 783-3776 ext. 249.

Think you got the stuff? Bring it!

There Goes the Neighborhood

For the better:

[T]he city, through the D.C. Historic Preservation Office, is providing up to $300,000 in grants to renovate historic Anacostia homes.

Anacostia is truly an astonishing neighborhood that just needs a little shine to help bring out its true beauty. It does my heart good to hear that the city will be offering grants to spruce up the place. Hopefully many of my neighbors will jump at this opportunity.

For the worse:

The Frederick Douglass Memorial Bridge on South Capitol Street will be closed beginning at 12:01 a.m. tomorrow for extensive reconstruction work. The major commuter artery could be closed for two months.

This means that all you fine people from Southern Maryland will be driving through my neighborhood, gumming up my streets, and adding to my commute time with your ridiculous driving habits. Joy.

Exposed!

Several District news agencies have reported on the state of exposed streetlight wiring. I'm here to report that ... very little has changed. Take this example on the corner of 17th Street and Riggs Street, NW. Not only is the wire exposed, it's sticking out of the fixture!


Or how about this one at New Hampshire Avenue and N Street, NW? Sure, the wire is neatly wound up inside of the fixture but it's still open to curious hands.


Now before you think I'm being too hard on the city, before you think that the city just doesn't have the resources or the equipment to seal these open lights, I just want to point out that the fix doesn't have to be exact. The city doesn't have to find exactly-built-to-specification fixes for these open dangers. Just a little ingenuity will do for a quick fix until long-term fixes can be acquired. Like this brilliant piece of thinking outside the box ...


The city really needs to do something ... anything ... to seal off these dangers from the public before someone gets seriously injured.

All pictures taken by me with my Palm® Trēo™ 650.

I Do Not Know How to ...

... simply be a patron.
... date.
... see myself the way others see me.
... express myself without stumbling over my words and sounding like a blithering idiot.
... break down these walls.
... ask for help.
... accept criticism without taking it personally.
... learn from some of my mistakes.
... be completely open and honest without hiding behind the anonymity of the Internet(s).