Elevator Etiquette

Elevators are a necessary evil. We all have to use them at some point and none of us are terribly excited about sharing such close quarters with complete strangers. That said, please show some respect to your fellow riders by showing the following courtesies.

1. Do not fart on the elevator. Ever.
2. Hold the door for those coming in behind you. Immediately walking to the back and looking at the floor does not abdicate you of this. You aren't the only one who has to use this thing, you selfish prick.
3. Unless you have some physical disability or limitation, do not take the elevator for trips of fewer than two floors. It pisses people off. Really.
4. Save those disturbing personal conversations for other small enclosed areas ... like your office.
5. Your cell phone won't work in the elevator. Put it away.

Your friends, coworkers, and other assorted persons thank you in advance.