... tonight. He might not think I did. I was mostly staring intently at my phone as I was walking because of Ingress (go Enlightened!). He might even convince himself that he didn't see me, but I know he did. And I saw him. He was there at the corner of 16th and Scott Circle in his gym-casual clothes and backpack, his almost-shaved head, his mustache and goatee. I saw him.
I normally wouldn't care. He did to me what I saw him do to countless people when we were together... what I never thought he'd do to me... and, as a Leo, I have no problem returning the complement. You wanna cut me out of your life? Fine. You're dead to me. There's no one-upping that. (Good luck with trying to get back in my life.)
Except today is 9/11. The most tragic day in any American's life, especially any American in New York or DC or PA. That day in 2001 was very important to me because I worked near the Nation's Capital and because the one person at that time that I thought I was going to marry, grow old with, and die with was working a block from the Capitol Building. And, as much as I wish it wouldn't, this day brings all of those memories and emotions back.
This is what I wrote.
So I never know how to feel this specific day of the year. I'm glad to be alive. I grieve the loss of my countrymen. I'm angered by the audacity of villains who will never be brought to justice. I'm numb at the loss of a relationship that once was the center of my universe. And I'm incensed at the hubris of ego.