Music Video Friday: Holiday Road By Lindsey Buckingham

It's the holiday season. I'm currently in the airport getting ready to go on holiday. That is all.

Happy April Fool's Day

To the vast majority of you April Fooling Fools out there ...

One Turkey To Rule Them All

Just when all hope was lost. Just when there was no light left in the building. Just when I feared I would have to close the Diaries due to lack of interest, my Muse returned to remind me that I still have important things to say ... snarky things to say ... about the gall and the stupidity of people.

And for that, I truly thank The Night Owl (or, as I think I may have to start calling him, The Gift That Keeps On Giving).

Mr. Barry has been giving away turkeys at the Union Temple Baptist Church for the several years now. It's a very popular program in my Ward 8, which is the most economically depressed area in my fair city. You will not hear me breathe one bad word about this program. The holiday season is especially hard on those who are struggling and anything to help make their Thanksgiving better is alright in my book.

But I do have to call out incompetence.

Last year, the demand far exceeded the supply and Barry promised such an oversight would never happen again. This year, people who wanted a free bird had to sign up ahead of time to get one. Once all of the people listed got theirs, whatever was left would be handed out to whoever showed up. (Or at least that's my understanding of how this was supposed to have worked.)

Well, this year's giveaway hit another snag that left people frustrated and upset. All because that evil Giant wouldn't deliver the birds.

First of all, I must apologize to the Ward 8 community for Giant’s failure to provide timely support to the Community. It’s simply pathetic and incomprehensible to me that a multi-billion dollar corporation, like Giant, would take a position that would deprive children, seniors and other adults of food for the Thanksgiving holiday.

But, you see, the fact that the turkeys were a no-show wasn't Barry's fault. Except for that part where it was.

D.C. Council member Marion Barry (D-Ward 8), well known for his annual turkey giveaway in Southeast Washington, had no Butterballs available for residents Tuesday morning after he failed to pay Giant food stores $26,000 for their delivery.

In a news release, Barry said he had $17,000, falling short by $9,000, but promised Giant that the rest was coming. " ... Giant insisted that the full $26 thousand dollars be received by the store on Monday and that without full payment, the Company would not delivery the birds to Barry," a news release read.

Look, I know people are suffering. I know that some residents in Ward 8 depend on this annual event to put a decent Thanksgiving dinner on the table. But this whole mess could have been avoided. It's not like we don't know when Thanksgiving is going to happen from one year to another. (Not like that blasted Easter.) It's the fourth Thursday of November, for Pete's sake! Mr. Barry had plenty of time during the year to raise whatever funds he needed to ensure that his turkey giveaway would happen on time and without issue. The fault lies on him, not on Giant.

(Giant, by the way, did deliver some of the birds with the rest coming today, even though they still haven't been paid for them.)

I have a suggestion to my fellow Ward 8 residents. Stop putting your faith in Marion Barry. He will fail you constantly and consistently. Next year, if you need some extra help putting food on the table, make a trip out to Landover where you're far less likely to walk away empty-handed.

Happy April Fools' Day

What is the greatest April Fools prank you have ever pulled?

The comments are yours.

Fenty Seeks To Undo All Williams' Initiatives

With a headline like that, I could work for the MSM. *smirk*

On 04 January 2005, Mayor Anthony Williams signed into law the District of Columbia Emancipation Day Amendment Act of 2004, making Emancipation Day a legally recognized city public holiday.

The holiday commemorates the day in 1862 that President Abraham Lincoln signed the District of Columbia Compensated Emancipation Act, which ended slavery in the District of Columbia and freed more than 3,000 slaves. This act was passed nine months before President Lincoln issued his Emancipation Proclamation on January 1, 1863. It was the first time that the government of the United States acted formally to abolish slavery and telegraphed the eventual end of slavery to the rest of the country.

Mayor Adrian Fenty, as stated in his proposed fiscal 2010 spending plan, wishes to put the holiday back into private observance. His rationale is to "save the city about $1.3 million" in holiday pay for city workers who have to work on 16 April, beginning in 2010. Obviously, not everyone is happy about the proposal.

“I think it is just disrespectful of what I think is one of the most important holidays we can honor,” Ward 5 Councilman Harry Thomas Jr. said Tuesday. “I will fight to ensure that it stays in the budget.”

Personally, I don't really care one way or the other. On one hand, taking away a holiday from people is a rough thing to do. On the other hand, which would you rather have ... one less holiday or a cut in services?

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Would You Like Some Punch With That Pi?

Happy National Pi Day, boys and girls!

The U.S. House of Representatives on Wednesday approved a resolution introduced two days earlier that designates March 14, 2009 (3/14, get it?) as National Pi Day. It urges schools to take the opportunity to teach their students about Pi and "engage them about the study of mathematics."

Learn more about Pi Day and get some geeky goodies at the official website.

Christmas Stuff

I have been listening to the radio (WASH-FM to be specific) the past few days and have been enjoying the Christmas tunes they've been playing. For the most part. It reminded me of some posts I wrote last year that I thought I'd share with you again this year.

My Least Favorite Christmas Songs:

• Number 5
  
• Number 4
  
• Number 3
  
• Number 2
  
• Number 1

My Most Favorite Christmas Songs:

• Number 5
  
• Number 4
  
• Number 3
  
• Number 2
  
• Number 1

What are yours? Please let me know in the comments.

Happy St. Valentine's Day

Image taken from here

Most Favorite Christmas Song #1

My Number One Most Favorite Christmas Song is one of the most widely recognized Christmas songs ever.

It is performed by choirs, by orchestras, and even by popular bands. It is played on radio stations spanning classical music to hard rock.

It conjures images of snowfall and cozy fires and midnight masses. It warms the heart and brightens the face. It, quite possibly more than any other song for this holiday season, puts one in the Christmas spirit.

Song Number One is the quintessential Christmas tune. It is "Carol Of The Bells".

You can hear it here (Windows Media Player required).

Most Favorite Christmas Song #2

I might lose some of you on my final two picks because they aren't popular recordings or standard carols. But they are Christmas songs nonetheless and I happen to enjoy them both very much. (I have also had the pleasure of performing them as well, which endears them to me even more so.)

Song Number Two on the list is a choral piece by Ralph Vaughn Williams called "Wassail". It's a four-part choral arrangement (that would be "written for soprano, alto, tenor, and bass" for those of you not in-the-know out there) that takes off in a very light-spirited romp from the beginning for the duration of the song. It's a fun listen and it's fun to sing.

You can hear it here (RealAudio required).

Most Favorite Christmas Song #3

Written in 1864, the next song was a penned cry of sorrow from its author. Song Number Three on the most favorite list is "I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. There are three different arrangements of this song, but my favorite was composed by Johnny Marks.

The words are teeming with gloom. While the rarely-sung fourth and fifth stanzas refer to the Civil War, we can still use them as metaphors for all the tumult in the world today. The song's sadness crescendos with the following stanza:

And in despair I bowed my head:
"There is no peace on earth," I said;
"For hate is strong
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men."

But it's the next verse that is the reason this song resonates so strongly with me. After all hope seemed lost, after the last flicker of goodness seemed extinguished, this is how Longfellow ends:

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep,
"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep!
The wrong shall fail,
The right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men!"

To truly feel the despair and the hope conveyed in this song, I strongly recommend that you listen to the Harry Belafonte recording.

Most Favorite Christmas Song #4

It's difficult, nearly impossible, to write a Christmas song that can stand the test of time and compare to the Christmas favorites of years past. So many present-day recording stars have tried their hands at making a Christmastime classic; the vast majority of these attempts have failed miserably. So it is a thing of joyous rapture when we get to witness someone hit one out of the park. Thirteen years ago, we were treated to such an occurrence.

Yes, this song is extremely commercial. In fact, as Christmas songs go, it may very well be one of the highest consistently charting songs ever recorded (based on these statistics). But its commercial success does not distract from its simple beauty, joy, and message -- that, in the end, love and companionship is what most of us want more than anything else at this time of year.

My Number Four favorite Christmas song is a little ditty recorded by Mariah Carey titled "All I Want For Christmas Is You".

Most Favorite Christmas Song #5

My Number Five favorite Christmas song brings a smile to my face every time I hear it. It doesn't matter how foul the mood, how evil the weather, or how bad the day. Just one listen to this song and everything is right with the world again.

Besides, how can you not grin when you hear "hippopotamuseses"?

That's right, starting the Most Favorite Christmas Song list is "I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas". It's about as cheery a song as you can possibly get.

(Hippopotamuseses ... *giggle*)

Least Favorite Christmas Song #1

Here it is, folks, my Number One Least Favorite Christmas Song! I can feel your relief radiating through my monitor right now. So let's get to it, shall we?

It was 23 years ago that this lump of pious coal was left in our stocking. We couldn't blame Santa for this because this was the 1980's and we were all so busy saving the whales and the rain-forest and ... oh yes ...

... Africa.

Our eyes were turned over the Atlantic Ocean to the devastation occurring in the East African country of Ethiopia. This song was written as a way to raise funds for the people of Ethiopia -- a very noble sentiment and one that raised around $144 million in its first incarnation. It saw life again in 1989 and again in 2004 (money raised in 2004 went to humanitarian aid for Sudan), where millions more were raised. Not bad for a crappy song.

If you haven't guessed already, the song is "Do They Know It's Christmas?" by Band Aid (and Band Aid II and Band Aid 20), written by Sir Bob Geldof and Midge Ure. Don't get me wrong, the causes for which it was recorded are laudable. But the song ... oh, the song. Let's look at some lyrics.

It's Christmastime
There's no need to be afraid
At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime

So far so good.

But say a prayer
Pray for the other ones
At Christmastime it's hard, but when you're having fun

Uh-oh. I feel a sermon coming on.

There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging
chimes of doom

Um, being a bit overly-dramatic aren't we, Mr. Geldof? I'm sure you could have found a better phrasing than equating Christmas bells to clanging chimes of doom. Certainly a wordsmith such as yourself could have done this more poetic justice, yes?

Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you

WHOA! For a song that's supposed to marshall the financial troops, I'm not sure that a "better you than me" attitude is really appropriate. I thought the idea here was to feel a pang of sympathy for the people we're supposed to be helping, not superiority.

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime

I would normally let a line like this pass since, with a land mass as large as Africa, it must snow somewhere sometime. However, this song was written for the people of Ethiopia. And snowfall in Ethiopia isn't what one would call a routine experience.

The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

The Christian ones probably do. Not so much the Muslim ones.

(Here's to you) raise a glass for everyone
(Here's to them) underneath that burning sun
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

I can't knock these lines. I'm all for toasting someone. And I've already commented on whether they know it's Christmas or not.

Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmastime again

Again. I'm sure the Christians would appreciate the reminder. I'm also sure the Muslim population couldn't care.

Because it's Christmastime, a time for giving, it is not enough for me to share my thoughts on my Number One Least Favorite Christmas Song. No. In the spirit of the season, I will offer you this little trinket and allow you to come to your own decision. Enjoy!

Least Favorite Christmas Song #2

My least favorite Christmas song Number Two, which is technically not a Christmas song at all, comes from one of my least favorite musicals. But it has become a seasonal standard due to its imagery (and perhaps even its title). What is this horrid song, you might be wondering? Why none other than "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music.

Oh, I know I'll catch flack for this one because so-o-o-o many people enjoy this song (and this musical).

Here is the one and only reason it has made this list ... it's not a song of, about, or for Christmas in any way, shape, or form! In the movie version of the musical (you know, the one shown non-stop on television at this time of year), this song is sung to comfort the children during a thunderstorm. A thunderstorm ... which, in Austria, occurs during ... the summer!

Really, people, get over it already. Sheesh.

Least Favorite Christmas Song #3

The last thing I want to hear at Christmas is whining, which is why "Last Christmas" by WHAM! made our Number Three. Look no further than the opening lines (which also happens to be the chorus) for enough kvetching to last all of Chanukah and Christmas and Yule and Kwanzaa and Winter Solstice and whatever other festival you want to throw in there during this time of year:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away.
This year, to save me from tears,
I'll give it to someone special.

"I'll give it to someone special"? Wasn't the person to whom you gave it last year special? What makes you think we won't have to hear your bellyaching next year because the new Mr. Special decided to return your gift, too?

Ugh.

Least Favorite Christmas Song #4

You would think that a catchy tune wouldn't appear on the list but our entry at Number Four is the most famous Hispanic Christmas song ever, "Feliz Navidad" by José Feliciano. It earns a spot on my list for two reasons:

1. It is repetitious ... unforgivably so ... brain-damagingly so ... in the same way that this song is repetitious.
2. The lyrics are a lesson in lazy song-writing. Seriously. Look at the words. They consist of two ... count them two ... lines. That's it.

Least Favorite Christmas Song #5

At Number Five, everyone's least favorite Christmastime song (or at least it should be) is "The Twelve Days of Christmas".

It's pervasive ubiquitousness during the holiday season and the impression that singing the song will literally take twelve days to complete are enough to land it on the list. But the real reason why it's here is best explained by my favorite Executive/Action Transvestite:

That “Partridge in a pear tree” song, the only bit we like of it is that, (singing) "Five gold rings!" People go berserk at that point! People come running in from other rooms, (singing) "Five gold rings!" The rest of it, we don't know; above that, it's just, (singing, uncertain) "Twelve… monkeys mating, eleven… donkeys dancing, ten pigmies farming, nine… socks… a swimming… (certain) five gold rings!" This is a human thing. We only like to learn a little bit of a song. We can't be bothered, yeah.

Lists That Will Span Several Days

I've decided that in the spirit of the season I will list my five favorite and five least favorite songs of the season. We'll start with my five least favorites and then, logically, my five favorites. Both lists will be done in no particular order and will start tomorrow. I do hope you enjoy.