Summoning The Great Old Ones?

I think Billy Joel gets a bad rap. Yes, his brand of music can be uninspired (see 52nd Street) and, at times, tedious (see the appropriately named Fantasies & Delusions). But he has also put out several very solid albums (see this, this, and this). Plus his string of hits is nothing to scoff at and one that today's artists wish they could have.

Still, Gizmodo put up a post today that I honestly have no argument against. And it got me thinking about Joel's music and a far more, and deeply secret, nefarious reason for his music's popularity.

Perhaps the years of Billy Joel ringing in our ears and throughout our brains, building upon itself slowly, is actually a hymn ... a calling, if you will ... to The Great Priest, who lies dreaming in his house.

In which case, well played, Mr. Joel. Well played.

One Turkey To Rule Them All

Just when all hope was lost. Just when there was no light left in the building. Just when I feared I would have to close the Diaries due to lack of interest, my Muse returned to remind me that I still have important things to say ... snarky things to say ... about the gall and the stupidity of people.

And for that, I truly thank The Night Owl (or, as I think I may have to start calling him, The Gift That Keeps On Giving).

Mr. Barry has been giving away turkeys at the Union Temple Baptist Church for the several years now. It's a very popular program in my Ward 8, which is the most economically depressed area in my fair city. You will not hear me breathe one bad word about this program. The holiday season is especially hard on those who are struggling and anything to help make their Thanksgiving better is alright in my book.

But I do have to call out incompetence.

Last year, the demand far exceeded the supply and Barry promised such an oversight would never happen again. This year, people who wanted a free bird had to sign up ahead of time to get one. Once all of the people listed got theirs, whatever was left would be handed out to whoever showed up. (Or at least that's my understanding of how this was supposed to have worked.)

Well, this year's giveaway hit another snag that left people frustrated and upset. All because that evil Giant wouldn't deliver the birds.

First of all, I must apologize to the Ward 8 community for Giant’s failure to provide timely support to the Community. It’s simply pathetic and incomprehensible to me that a multi-billion dollar corporation, like Giant, would take a position that would deprive children, seniors and other adults of food for the Thanksgiving holiday.

But, you see, the fact that the turkeys were a no-show wasn't Barry's fault. Except for that part where it was.

D.C. Council member Marion Barry (D-Ward 8), well known for his annual turkey giveaway in Southeast Washington, had no Butterballs available for residents Tuesday morning after he failed to pay Giant food stores $26,000 for their delivery.

In a news release, Barry said he had $17,000, falling short by $9,000, but promised Giant that the rest was coming. " ... Giant insisted that the full $26 thousand dollars be received by the store on Monday and that without full payment, the Company would not delivery the birds to Barry," a news release read.

Look, I know people are suffering. I know that some residents in Ward 8 depend on this annual event to put a decent Thanksgiving dinner on the table. But this whole mess could have been avoided. It's not like we don't know when Thanksgiving is going to happen from one year to another. (Not like that blasted Easter.) It's the fourth Thursday of November, for Pete's sake! Mr. Barry had plenty of time during the year to raise whatever funds he needed to ensure that his turkey giveaway would happen on time and without issue. The fault lies on him, not on Giant.

(Giant, by the way, did deliver some of the birds with the rest coming today, even though they still haven't been paid for them.)

I have a suggestion to my fellow Ward 8 residents. Stop putting your faith in Marion Barry. He will fail you constantly and consistently. Next year, if you need some extra help putting food on the table, make a trip out to Landover where you're far less likely to walk away empty-handed.

My Blogging State Of Mind Lately

Paging Inspiration. Inspiration, You Have A Telephone Call At The Front Desk.

Somehow I went through the entire month of October without adding one new post. I'm not sure I've ever gone a month without putting up a blog post in my entire blogging career. That, my faithful readers, is not good.

There were things on my mind. Like how I utterly despise the racial politics of the District. Or how I believe that Muse is the heir to Queen's musical throne. Or how I'm excited about a new television series that you may have inadvertently heard about last week. But every time I opened up this blog to put words to pixels, I came up empty.

The problem is that I'm completely uninspired. I just don't care that much to say anything about anything. In fact, this is the most I've said about anything in over a month.

So let me ask you, my faithful readers, how does one pull oneself out of such a mental funk? What tricks can I use to get back into the swing of things?

Cuz meh haz noe ideahz!

Friday Afternoon Funny

Laughter is the best medicine.

It cures a multitudes of ills ... physical, mental, emotional. It elevates the weight of stress and the daily grind. It's addictive and infectious and comforting. And it's free.

So here is my Friday gift to you. Laugh along (I defy you to do otherwise).

UPDATE: 09/24/2010 16:08: I was having issues with the video and have removed it. So just follow this link and enjoy.

Karma Kameleon

Martena Clinton, mugging for the camera in this choreographed photo.

A few things jump out at me over this story:

1. "Clinton has the handicapped tag because her husband suffered a stroke."
2. "She displayed a handicapped tag prominently, locked her car and checked with a police officer who happened to be parked right behind her. He assured her the spot was legal."
3. The "police had not kept track of where they had moved" her car.
4. The car was a block and a half away.

It sucks to have your car towed. It gives you a lead-in-the-belly feeling that just makes you sick. People shouldn't have to go through that, especially after being assured by a police officer that you are legally parked.

That said, it serves her right. As commenters on the article have pointed out, while parking in a handicapped spot was legal because she had a handicap tag, the use of said tag is not legal because ... well ... she's not handicapped. If I had been the officer, I would have informed her of that little fact and had her move the car.

In which case, she most likely would have parked farther away and her car would have most likely not been moved.

Karma. She is a bitch.

(Cross-posted on 100 Million Castaways, which you should be reading too.)

Crab Mentality And The Potential Implosion Of The Republican Party

I was reminded of how easy it is to cook crabs after reading this news article at CNN.com this morning.

It seems that the Republican Party is still embroiled in a "civil war" between the Republican Status Quo (RSO) and the Tea Party even though the Primary Election is over. In some cases, such as Delaware and Alaska, the RSO candidate lost. It's usually at this point that the party rallies 'round the Primary winner to help them secure whatever post it is to which they are aspiring. But not so this year.

Now, it's one thing to actively work to defeat someone if you are a member of the opposition, but it is quite another to actively work to defeat someone if you are a member of the same party after the Primary Election results are in. You idiot RSOs had nine months to do all of your sniping, mud-slinging, and character assassinations against these upstarts. And your candidate lost. Now is the time to rally behind the Primary winner. Now is the time to do all you can to ensure that you capture the majority seats in Congress. Now is the time to make your party relevant.

But no. RSOs can't seem to get past the insult of being rejected by the voting members of their own party and feel the upstarts still have a price to pay for their impertinence.

Sharpen those crabby claws, baby. It's almost supper time.

(Cross-posted on 100 Million Castaways.)

A New Creative Outlet

I was invited to, and accepted, a contributorship to a new group blog. To explain it in a nutshell, it's a mental gathering of friends and I expect that it will become the online version of what our get-togethers are like. There's no real direction yet (if there ever will be) and we are a very diverse group in many senses of that word.

So it should be fascinating. And I think you should become part of our crazy ride.

This One's For The Ladies (Or "How To Behave In Public")

As my most faithful readers know, I am the host/KJ (karaoke jockey) of a popular long-running karaoke at a certain D.C. bar. Above all else, we strive to be the most inclusive, relaxing, laid-back karaoke in the city. We want to be the place you go on Wednesday nights to kick back and enjoy a night out with your friends.

Achieving this goal requires some level of effort on the parts of both the staff and the patrons. And, for the most part, we succeed in reaching that perfect balance. But lately that balance has been threatened. And it's by you, ladies. I understand that you, especially those of you who are under the age of 28, are accustomed to a certain way of things. But this is the adult world and things don't work the same as when you were partying out in your sorority house. So I'm going to help you with some pointers of how to behave the next time you come to my weekly shindig.

1. Tip your bartenders. I could appeal to your sense of sympathy for your struggling fellow man by reminding you that bartenders make their living from tips, but you know this already and appear to be unfazed. So I'll put it another way to you ... bartenders pour stronger drinks for people to tip well. Plus, they'll be a bit more inclined to put up with the drunken mess you'll become within the hour.
2. Practice a little patience. You aren't the only person in the song queue. Every one of the people in line ahead of you have been waiting patiently for their turn to sing. You may be used to getting what you want when you want it but, believe me, that won't last forever. And the sooner you learn that, the better off you'll be.
3. Realize that you're amongst adults now. Perhaps shrieking loudly, swinging on the load-bearing pole, and cackling maniacally is normal for a sorority or fraternity house. Please note that this is not a sorority or fraternity house. This is a bar. Full of adults. Who don't much appreciate the immature behavior. Please show a bit more maturity and dignity within these walls by keeping the shrieking to a minimum.
4. Understand that it takes a bit of courage to sing on stage. Yes, even if you're drunk. Show some respect to those who are singing. (See pointer #3.)
5. Every night has an end. Our show officially ends at 1:30 AM. Your private show should end before you get overly intoxicated. Because, trust me, once you've gone beyond the point of "drunk" into "sloppy drunk", you will ignore every single one of these pointers.

I want you to be there. I want you to enjoy yourselves. However, as Iron-Fisted Dictator&trade, I have to keep everyone's fun and enjoyment in mind. That includes the staff as well as the patrons. Please help me make every Wednesday night the most-enjoyable, drama-free night of the week. We have the best karaoke and the best patrons in the entire metro area ... let's all try to keep it that way, hmm?

They're Fixing A Hole

DG-rad at And Now, Anacostia is reporting that our current welcome is being replaced by something shiny and new.

The plywood will soon be replaced by a collage composition of recycled wood blocks and shiny orange metal that celebrates the gateway to Ward 8.

The current blue plywood corner covering was installed after the original wood-and-chain-link corner cover was destroyed by an errant driver.

Here is the original corner covering:



Here is the current corner covering:



And here is the proposed new corner covering:



Now, I'm not fan of the current corner cover. It's ugly, depressing, unwelcoming, and unimpressive. But I don't see this proposed corner cover as any more attractive. I agree with commenter Rob that the orange just doesn't fit with the neighborhood at all and the recycled wood blocks only add to the feeling of abandonment and neglect, especially against the backdrop of so many empty and decaying buildings. (Maybe it will look better in execution than it does in computer rendering.)

I do understand that this is meant to be temporary, until something gets developed in that space. And I hope that by "temporary" we mean "in less than a year". Because, in my honest opinion, the best possible greeting into Anacostia from the neighborhoods to the west is a new, vibrant, and safe historic "downtown" area.

It Has To Start Somewhere

I've lived in the D.C. Metropolitan area my entire life. I was born in the city. I've spent most of my adult life in the city. I remember when Penn Quarter/Chinatown/Gallery Place was a dangerous wasteland of shadows, crumbling buildings, drug dealers, hookers, and various other unpleasantness.

And I remember when the art galleries came. They were the first wave of development to this forgotten part of the city. They were a beacon of hope that business and beauty can survive and thrive amongst the hulls and shells and devastation. Then came a sit-down eatery or two. Then came more businesses. Then came The Verizon Center. Then came development in earnest. Now look at the neighborhood and how far they've come.

Some people are hoping that history can repeat itself in the most desolate of desolate places. It's true that "the arts aren't the 'be all and end all'" and that there will still be plenty of work to do. But with these art-related businesses opening and the Department of Homeland Security moving in relatively soon, one can't help but see a reenactment of "The Rebuilding Of Penn Quarter" right here in SE DC.

I, for one, am very excited for my Ward.

How Much Does A Few Minutes Cost?

Quite possibly an election.

There's been talk, mostly from the pro-Fenty base, that none of this really matters. Dr. Angelou and Mrs. Height weren't residents of our fair city so what does it matter what they had to talk to the mayor about, they say. The mayor is too busy doing the business of the people, they say. The days of kow-towing to special interests are over, they say.

Except these two women weren't special interests. They are pillars of the black community. They are cultural icons. It would have taken the mayor an hour of his time at most to speak with them. The political reward would have been great. The support he would have received from the District's black population would have been enormous. But most importantly, the boost it would have given his image ... the smoothing of those rough edges, the "humanification" of that aloof personality ... would have been priceless. And the mayor probably wouldn't find himself in the fight for his political life.

That missed meeting may well have been the beginning of the end for Mayor Fenty. Black district residents, especially those of the fairer sex, began to look at the mayor through different eyes and they started to see a man who didn't care about them.

Whether that perception is true or not is moot. In politics, perception is everything.

A New Tool For Accountability (UPDATED)

Do you ride Metro? Are you frustrated with all of the issues Metro has? Do you wish that you could give Metro a visual aid to show its failings? Well, TBD.com is launching a new map tool that will do just that ... provided you give the details. So the next time your station escalator isn't working, or the train is late, or that stupid ticket machine keeps eating your hard-earned cash, don't be timid -- go to the map and lodge your complaint.

Ah, but sorry Metrobus riders. It doesn't seem that you have a voice on this new mapping tool. At least not yet, anyway.

UPDATE: 08/23/2010 12:12: Okay, it so it isn't a map. But it is a step in the right direction for the lower-profiled Metrobus riders.

And This Is Bad How?

There are those leaders who seek consensus and take forever because of endless meetings, in the effort to appear to be doing something when nothing is getting done. Then there are those leaders who seek consensus and get it in a timely manner because the voice of the people is important in governing.

Mr. Gray has been one of the most effective City Council chairmen. He has accomplished this by getting all voices heard and moving toward a resolution that benefits the whole, not just a few. I see no reason why he wouldn't govern as mayor in the same manner. Being deliberative and thoughtful are not bad attributes to have, and Mr. Gray has them in spades ... yet he has also shown that he is not crippled by them. I expect that, if elected mayor, Mr. Gray will bring "order and civility and decorum" to the entire of D.C. government. And wouldn't that be a nice change?

Git Yer Junk Out

The Antiques Roadshow is coming to the Washington Convention Center tomorrow! Unfortunately, if you don't already have a ticket, you can't go. Bummer.

It's FRIDAY!

The work week is over. The sun is out. It's a beautiful morning. And I feel like music. So here are the greatest names of popular rock and roll in the fall of 1992, at the height of their musical powers. While there is always the possibility, I doubt that we will ever again see such a collection of talent together on the same stage sharing the same song. Enjoy!

Yes, But Will It Star Tom Cruise?

I own an iPhone. It is my Brain. It is also my main source of entertainment, especially with game ... especially with Angry Birds. I have completed all of the levels that are currently available with the highest 3-star rating. I have unlocked all of the currently available easter eggs. Simply stated, I love this game. So imagine my excitement when I read that Rovio is fishing for a studio to make this wildly entertaining game into a movie.

I'm all behind this idea. The game has a basic plot - birds have eggs, pigs steal eggs, birds rain avian vengeance on pigs - which lends itself to multiple story directions. Seriously ... this would be hard to screw up. I mean, you'd have to be a talent of epic proportions to make a mess of an Angry Birds movie.

If you haven't played the game or even heard of it before (and if that's the case, what cave do you live in?), here is the official game trailer.

Tasty Crow, Or "Look! Up In The Sky!"

Okay, okay, remember when I said very loudly and clearly that D.C. was lacking its own super contingent?

I was wrong. So very wrong.

The Hump Day Mehs

It's a dreary, rainy, busy Wednesday and nothing in the news excites me. So, to perk us all up, I offer this ...

EFN Lounge & Motley Bar Shutters Its Doors

I ran across a blog post last night with news that I honestly couldn't believe.

It seems that EFN Lounge and Motley Bar, legally known as Wami, LLC, is the latest DC gay bar to bite the dust.

A quick trip to EFN's webpage results in a page load error. This could mean one of two things ... either the webmaster is asleep at the wheel or the blog post is true. So I did some searching around online and found corroboration of the story. Just to be certain, I then went onto Facebook to check the statuses of people I know who work for EFN Lounge. The status update on 16 August 2010 around 8pm of a friend who bartends there stated, "OWNERS EMAILED STAFF: MOTLEY BAR IS CLOSED!!!"

So it's official. EFN Lounge & Motley Bar is dead.

The bar, then known as BeBar, engaged in a bitter fight with a church that didn't even occupy the same ANC at the bar. After the six month struggle, BeBar opened to much fanfare and hoopla back in September of 2006. The pre-launch party was wall-to-wall people with hardly room to breath, much less move. The gay bar was a pioneer, opening in a part of the city that was much farther east than any of its competition. Some in the city thought that this would bring traffic and business to an area that desperately needed both while others considered the neighborhood too unsafe for such late night activities. Eventually, the critics appeared to be right as attacks against gays patronizing the bar began to increase. One of my best friends was almost a victim of a brutal attack after leaving the bar; only his quick wits and quicker legs potentially saved his life.

In May of 2009, the bar underwent a dramatic reinvention under new ownership and emerged as EFN Lounge & Motley Bar. Several new events (such at Bear Happy Hour, ActiveDuty, fashion shows, jello wrestling, and POZ) were introduced as a way to bring patrons back. But, it seems, the patrons just couldn't be bothered to keep coming back.

Perhaps the neighborhood is still perceived to be too unsafe to risk the visit. Perhaps the rumors of underage patrons kept legal-aged patrons away. Perhaps the vibe just wasn't right. Whatever the reason(s), the District has lost a gay establishment that tried to cater to parts of the gay community that were too often overlooked.

Now, with the reporting part out of the way, I'd like to give you my thoughts. I was never a fan of the bar. It was too expensive, too pretentious, too full of itself to be enjoyable. I would go from time to time because I had friends who worked there. Once the new ownership took over, things took a nosedive. The attitude was nasty. The bar made underhanded and shady moves on other gay establishments' business (*coughBearHappyHourcough*). The general manager of Cobalt suffered multiple personal attacks on his character and reputation at the hands of EFN Lounge management.

Disclaimer: I work at Cobalt as the host of the long-running Wednesday Night Karaoke.

I'm a firm believer that what goes around comes around. While I feel for the people who are now out of work, I do not lament the closing of this bar. To any ownership that informs its employees that they are unemployed effective immediately via email, I say "stay classy". And to any business that is so insecure of itself that it needs to make personal attacks on another bar's manager and secure patronage through shady moves, I say "good riddance".

UPDATE: 08/17/2010 11:45: Metro Weekly has more on this story. It's sad that, even in closing, the place is still dysfunctional.

Fenty Brings The Big Guns

The Washington City Paper is reporting today that Mayor Fenty is getting some major campaigning help tomorrow in his bid for re-election. The problem is ... nobody in D.C. really cares about the person coming to town.

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is coming to D.C. tomorrow to help support Mayor Adrian Fenty’s re-election bid, according to a Fenty campaign source.

C'mon now. I mean really. What kind of sway is NYC Mayor Bloomberg going to have here in Our Nation's Capital? He has no ties here. He has no say, direct or indirect, about how our city runs. His only very loose connection is that Mayor Fenty idolizes him.

This reeks of desperation. It's the equivalent of a faltering television show relying on a special guest star appearance to help bolster ratings.

Mr. Mayor, you will have to do much better than this.

Mr. Fenty Insists On Hearing Bad News Immediately

I learned from Tiffany Bridge of We Love DC that City Council Chairman Vince Gray came home Thursday night to a “threatening display of magazines". Tiffany calls the stunt "cartoonish" and I have to agree. I mean, if you're going to send a message to someone, send a real message!

Am I right? Hello?

New Music Venue In Downtown D.C.?

The Washington Post has a fascinating tidbit in today's online webpage.

First, it's in a sweet location - within walking distance to several Metro stations, in the heart of Tourist Land, and in a very safe part of the city. (You'll notice the Treasury Building at the end of F Street NW.)

Second, there's this:

Meyer envisions a "more adult" music club with a general focus on singer-songwriters. He hopes to book country acts and gospel artists. He hopes to curate free lunchtime concerts. He hopes to host local up-and-comers and marquee veterans.

That's a big deal. Other than an occasional coffee shop, there really aren't any places for singer-songwriters, especially those of the local up-and-comer types, to perform. Which leads us to my next point.

Third, because it sounds like it will be a more intimate space focused on music that may sit just outside of the mainstream, acts such as one of my favorite unheard bands or one of my favorite mostly unheard solo acts might come to D.C. for more than one gig every year or so.

And fourth, pardon my egotistical musings, it could very well get me to get off my tookus and back onto the stage where I belong.

Please, oh please, oh please ... Powers of Righteousness, Keepers of Light, Protectors of Goodliness ... let Mr. Meyer open this venue!

"Georgetown Cupcakes Take Over 33rd Street"

"I can't take zee cahpcakes anymorah. C'ya!"

Neither can we, sir. Neither can we.

"Never Found One Person" Means You Didn't Look Hard Enough

I'm glad Pee-Wee Herman is back.

I enjoyed his way bizarre Saturday morning show when I was younger. I saw the beginnings of several long careers, though I couldn't have known it at the time. And this has forever been burned into my brain.

I loved his first movie. It's highly quotable. It was Tim Burton's first full-length movie. And this has forever been burned into my brain.

So I'm glad Pee-Wee's back.

Mr. Reubens, unfortunately, can't let go of the past. True, those of us old enough to remember will always remember that infamous event. But this new generation of kids ... well, they may know about it, really. But they probably wouldn't at all if Mr. Rubens would stop talking about it.

Look, I get it. He feels wronged. And for all we know, he was incorrectly fingered out. Mr. Reubens, I'm gathering from the article, wishes it had gone to trial. He believes that he would have gotten off because of the evidence. From the article:

"Had we gone to trial, we had ready an expert from the Masters and Johnson Institute who was going to testify that in 30 years of research on masturbation the institute had never found one person who masturbated with his or her non-dominant hand," Reubens divulges in the latest issue of Playboy (which hits newsstands Friday). "I’m right-handed, and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand. That would have been the end of the case right there, proof it couldn’t have been me."

Okay. Here is what I really wanted to post about. Let's look at that quote again, shall we?

... in 30 years of research on masturbation the institute had never found one person who masturbated with his or her non-dominant hand ...

I'm going to call shenanigans here.

All those who masturbate with their non-dominant hand, raise your dominant hand. (I'd love to, but I'm typing this blog post right now.) I'm certain at least one person raised his (or her) hand. (I would have, but I was typing.)

I'm sorry, Mr. Reubens, but just because your institute couldn't find one person in 30 years doesn't mean he (or she) doesn't exist. I'd guarantee you that the plaintiff's attorney would have found one.

Look, Pee-Wee. Just drop it. It was a stupid crime. Hardly anyone thought it was worth the hoopla. We certainly don't think any less of you now. Let it go.

Just. Let. It. Go.

(And get back to making that new movie. I totally can't wait!)

Here I Come To Save The Day!

I once offered a prayer.

It was not answered.

So I rethought my position. No one has been hurt (as far as I can tell from scouring the Interwebs). The cat is out of the bag and this seems to be something that is going to stay around, regardless of what sane people may think. So I looked at the RLSHs registered on the official website and crunched some numbers. This is what I came up with.

D.C. does not have any superheroes.

Now, if this is going to be a thing, then the greatest city in the world needs at least one RLSH. Utah has four, for Pete's sake! So maybe the District could use an extra hand or two in curbing non-violent crimes.

Not that I'm advocating such a thing.

Must-Have Smartphone Apps For Drivers

Do you own a car? If you live in the D.C. Metro area, the answer is "most likely". Do you drive? If you live in the D.C. Metro area, the answer is also "most likely". Do you own a smartphone? Here the numbers may start dropping off a little.

If you do own a smartphone and you do spend a considerable amount of time behind the wheel of an automobile, you may have wondered to yourself, Self, how can I make this constant commuting easier on myself?

The answer to that rhetoric question is apps! And MSN Autos has done a decent job of rounding up ten smartphone apps that can help you in your quest of better, smarter, safer driving.

I have a couple of the apps on their list and they work pretty well. No one app is going to be the "silver bullet" so you'd want to have two or three of each type then pick and choose as the situation warrants it. (At least that's how I roll.) I'd also recommend to use free apps when you can. It's not that I'm a cheapskate (though I am) but I'm finding that the free apps are quickly closing the functionality gap with the for-pay apps.

Check out their list. Remember that it's not the be-all-end-all of available apps, but it should get you started. Don't be afraid to try out additional apps on your own, especially the free ones. And be safe out there!

Wicked Awful Storm (UPDATED)

I live in the city but I work in NoVA. The storm that ravaged Montgomery County and NW DC this morning hadn't hit River East when I left for work this morning. But if my experience driving in it is any indication, it wasn't a fun storm by any means.

I expect that we'll see plenty of news stories today about how many people lost power this morning and how horrible the morning rush hour was, especially north of the city. Gauging by the radar image at weather.com, this particular storm cell should be out of the area by 08:30. This afternoon should be interesting.

Here's to hoping that this storm wasn't too rough on the D.C. Metro area.

UPDATE: 08/12/2010 11:57: I suppose I was being a bit too optimistic in my hopes that the D.C. area would be mostly spared by this morning's storm.

More Mayoral Election Coverage! (Sort Of.) (UPDATED)

TBD.com, the link to which you can find in my Additional Reading section, hosted a live streamed debate between the two front-running Democratic candidates for District mayor, so the odds are that you won't find video on it (I couldn't). It was also liveblogged, which is kind of like being promised a steak but getting a plate rubbed with steak sauce. Anyway, check out the liveblogging.

While we're all here, I seriously have some serious gripes against my city and the way major elections are handled. First, in case you weren't aware, there are more than two Democratic candidates running for mayor. Every election year it seems to be the same thing: incumbent mayor versus City Council chairperson. It's like no one else has a chance, so why even bother?

Second, there are more political parties than the Democratic Party in the District of Columbia and some of them have candidates for mayor as well. I'm not certain if District residents are even aware of this fact since, as it has been since Home Rule was enacted, whoever wins the Democratic Primary wins the General Election. Why should anyone who isn't a registered Democrat be rustled to vote at all?

Finally, what with all the local media we have in this city, you would think that you'd know my first two points already. But the odds are that you don't. And that is a major failing of our local media. All candidates should have equal coverage. (Okay, maybe not all candidates should get equal coverage. How about all serious candidates?) We have Independent, Statehood, and, in past elections, Republican candidates that the general public know nothing about. How difficult would it be to run stories on these candidates? We could have Democratic Mondays, Republican Tuesdays, Independent Wednesdays, Statehood Thursdays, and Everyone Else Fridays. Seriously, see how easy that was? And I'm not even a newsroom editor!

As I've griped before, I believe our city would be much better run, much better represented, much better ... better ... if more parties were part of our city government. I think the monopoly that the Democratic Party has isn't a good thing for our city. The Democrats have erected a wall that is almost impossible for any other party to scale. And that is a disservice to us, the people of Washington, D.C. It's up to us to right this wrong and make our government more inclusive, more diverse, and more functional.

Washington D.C., tear down this wall!

UPDATE: 08/11/2010 12:26: DCist steals my thunder. Bastards.

UPDATE: 08/11/2010 18:05: Check out the comment section for a comment from Many Jenkins with a link to the video of the debate. Thanks, Mandy!

And I Thought Only Congress Came Up With Bad Ideas

If Broadway isn't dead yet, it should be soon. Unless, of course, this is actually light opera and not the piece of sanctimonious, overwrought, cacophonous dreck I'm expecting based on the names of those involved with the songwriting.

The production, which will feature the music of the two U2 members most people can name -- yes, Bono and the Edge -- has been scuffling about in the creative stages for several years.

All I have to say about this is, well ... Spidey, take it away!

You Say I'm Crazy?

I got your crazy!

I debated about posting this, but ... and let's be honest here ... we've all known alcoholic uncles who make more sense than this man. Seriously, what was his point?

We can haz term limitz now pleez?

Happy Birthday To Me!

Yes, today is my birthday. It was exactly 38 years ago that I entered the world and ushered in a new age ... an age of enlightenment ... an age of love ... an age of peace ... an age of Terrestrial healing ... an age of ME!

(Okay, so there's a bit of embellishment there. But if President Obama can make such claims, why can't I?)

"Happy birthday" to me and "you're welcome" to the rest of you!

Another "Muppet Show" Legend Dies

Jim Henson got his start right here in D.C. so I think it's fair for us to consider the whole Henson family as our family, regardless of where they might be. So it is with sad heart that I read that Jack Parnell, real-life bandleader of "The Muppet Show", passed away yesterday.

Mr. Parnell, for all of the joy you brought me as a child, this one's for you.

Shouldn't There Be A Background Check?

I've never thought of this before, but recent news about yet another failure has me wondering if, perhaps, nationally-televised shows should do a bit more research on their contestants first.

Don't get me wrong, I do understand that the restaurant business is a difficult business. An Ohio State University study in 2003 found that roughly 60% of restaurants fail within the first three years, and that number might even be a bit high. So four failed restaurants within a ten year period seems a bit above the average.

Or maybe that's just me.

Still, I think that these reality shows should have some level of responsibility when it comes to vetting potential contestants. They should field the best of the best of whoever is auditioning. And they should look at the whole picture.

Or maybe that's just me, as well.

An Unfortunate Situation, A Broken Unspoken Rule

I've been a Metro rider (Metrorail and Metrobus) both during peak and off-peak hours. Never was I ever concerned about safety while on (or in) the Metro system. That is because there has always been an unspoken rule about the Washington D.C. Metro System ... crime stays on the streets and out of public transportation. We, the law-abiding public and the criminal underground, have always had a truce on the rails and in the buses.

Until Friday night.

These kids ... and they were kids, not "young adults" ... broke that truce. They abused the trust of everyone. And they reinforced the reason that D.C. has a curfew law.

They should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law and made an example of. Their "parents" need to whoop their asses. This new generation of thugs and bangers need to learn to respect the truce on the Metro system and keep their ghetto actions on the streets.

Never Question Bruce Dickinson!

I got a fever. And the only prescription is ...

Enough With The Fads Already!

First it was burgers. Then it was cupcakes. Now popsicles? Dear God/Jesus/Mary/Joseph/and-all-the-Saints-in-heaven NO-O-O-O-O-O!

But, Diarist, popsicles are wonderful!

Yes, they are. And here is why I'm completely against this newest of District stupidity:

Every day, the Dairy Godmother sells seven flavors, each priced at $2.36.

[...]

Milk and cream come from the Trickling Springs Creamery in Pennsylvania; its fruit comes from the Mount Pleasant Farmers Market, where Horowitz and Sykora began hawking their $2.50 pops on July 3.

[...]

Potenza offers a $5 pop made with limoncello, grappa and a dash of lemon bitters, and Saint-Ex has an elderflower "poptail."

$2.36 ... $2.50 ... 5$ for a popsicle? C'mon, people, some things just aren't supposed to be gourmet. And frozen flavored water on a stick is definitely one of them.

Please Fix The Format Next Time Around

I'll admit up front that I watched all six episodes of D.C. Cupcakes. I was excited to see that a small bakery business in the District would have its own show, like other bakeries in other cities. I couldn't wait to see the trials of starting a business, of meeting the crush of customers, of handling staffing, of making the monthly bottom line.

Instead we got the most scripted "reality" show I've ever seen. With a couple scene exceptions, everything seemed to be set up and "performed" with a loose script. The show seemed to be a slight parody of the reality baking shows that came before it.

Color me disappointed.

To my chagrin, TLC has signed the girls on to another season. I wasn't quite sure why the network would possibly do that until I read this:

About 1.1 million people watched the debut at 10 p.m. on July 16; the second week the audience grew a tick, and by last Friday, 1.5 million were watching the first-season finale in which a local fireman asked for baking lessons -- really? -- which somehow led to a sister vs. sister bake-off at the firehouse.

I guess people like their reality shows the way they like their cupcakes ... saccharine, fluffy, and with a load of icing on top.

If they want to continue down the path on which they've started, then play the parody up and stop being so coy. Otherwise, show us the real drama ... the drama of trying to survive as a small business owner.

Shark Week!

I love Shark Week. I love tuning in to the Discovery Channel to watch shows about sharks. I'm not the only one. Shark Week has become a big deal since it was introduced back in 1987. But some people don't seem to understand why it's such a draw. No, it's not because of this:

It's not about sharks, man. Like Snakes on a Plane, Piranhas 3-D, or any other over-the-top animal-attack fest with a blunt, obvious name, Shark Week has bite—albeit the self-conscious, meticulously styled, trying-so-hard-to-be-cool kind.

It is about the sharks, man! Sharks are awesome, in the most traditional sense of the word. Sharks are frightening in that primal way that bees and snakes and dentists are frightening. Sharks are the misunderstood kid in the playground.

I'm going to give you a few reasons why Shark Week is so friggin' awesome.

1. Sure, Christmas has all the lights and stars and whatnot. But Shark Week has friggin' sharks! Take that Santa Claus!
   
   


2. Craig Ferguson loves Shark Week, too. And he will be hosting Shark Week this year!
   
   





3. Sharks are responsible for one of the greatest movies ever made. And though none of them could ever touch the success of that iconic film, sharks are also responsible for some fairly respectable films ... and some utter crap.
   

So, in the end, why is it that people like Shark Week? I know why I do (as you've just read). But what about you? Do you like Shark Week? What are your reasons?

A True Shocker

It appears that The Night Owl didn't break any laws when he awarded his then-girlfriend a city contract. While innocent of criminal charges, the man is still sketchy.

Cecily E. Collier-Montgomery, director of the campaign finance office, wrote in an order dated Friday that Barry failed to follow the city's regulations for employee conduct, which should have guided him but that he did not violate the city's laws.

I can forgive an occasional and unintentional lapse in ethics, but Mr. Barry has made a career out of unethical behavior. If he truly wanted the best for his constituents, he would step down and out of the way.

Today's Most Non-Newsworthy Story!

Other than having the opportunity to type "Snowpocalypse" and "Snowmageddon" one last time, I honestly don't see the point of this Washington Post article.

Can you say "slow news day"? I knew you could.

The Antiques Road Show Would Have Picked This Out

Here's yet another problem with our 24-hour, must-report-now, fact-checking-what's-that news cycle. Seriously. How difficult would it have been to dig around a bit more (or not report it at all without conclusive evidence)?

Though, it begs the question ... if Ansel Adams' pictures are worth so much, why doesn't Uncle Earle's (arguably artistically equal) work command the same price?

(Via Gizmodo.)

Try Driving In D.C. Rush Hour

Boring? Really? I've never considered driving to be boring (except for that trek to/from Lexington Park, MD).

UPDATE 08/02/2010 11:05: Just because ...

MOVA Is Moving ... Hopefully To Oblivion

D.C. gay bar MOVA, formerly known as Halo, is planning to move to a new but undetermined location in D.C., according to owner Babak Movahedi.

Mr. Movahedi says that the rent is too high and the landlord has refused to renegotiate a new deal. The landlord, David Lett, counters that "Movahedi’s assertion that he declined to enter into discussions over a possible change in the lease" is total bunk. According to Mr. Lett, "Movahedi violated the lease when he failed to pay the property tax on the building, which was a requirement of the lease". Having known both men in capacity enough to judge their character, I'm inclined to believe Mr. Lett's word.

Congress To Leave The Oversight Business (Sort Of)

Well, this news seemed to come out of nowhere.

House Democrats are pushing this year to give the District full control over how it budgets and spends city revenue, severely limiting opportunities for Congress to intervene in local decisions such as support for same-sex marriage, needle-exchange programs and medical marijuana.

Now, don't go getting your knickers in a bunch. Despite the misleading article title, Congress will not be completely striped from D.C. budget oversight.

Congress still would have the power to enact laws on the District and block new legislation approved by the council, and would have oversight of federal money earmarked for the city.

I honestly think this is a perfectly appropriate compromise in advancing further autonomy for the District. Kudos to U.S. Rep. José E. Serrano for putting this out there!

Now You Know Where You Are, Where You Are Going, And What You're Looking At

Gizmodo is my first stop for all news techie. They cover a lot of gearhead ground, from breaking technical news to product reviews to absolute nonsense. And their daily deals post is not to be missed. Contributor Kyle VanHemert posted an exciting item regarding our very own American Museum of Natural History. If you love museums (and specifically this one), this should send a thrill up your leg.

After downloading the app on your own device or borrowing an iPod touch from the museum, you'll find that figuring out where you're going is just the start—you can also let Explorer guide you on preplanned tours or select from a list of exhibits and specimens to plot your own route through the museum.

As one who has been to this museum more times than he can count, I'm very much looking forward to going back and experiencing the American Museum of Natural History anew with this new tool. I certainly hope that the Smithsonian Institution makes more applications like this for some of its other museums that can be a tad overwhelming to slough through (*coughAirandSpaceMuseumcough*).

Must. Have.

Jimmie at The Sundries Shack found something very pretty. And I must have it.

DC Universe Online Cinematic Trailer

Here is more information on the game (check out the voice cast!). Here is the official website. And it can be pre-ordered on Amazon.com. *drool*

UPDATE (07/30/2010 00:08): It appears that Viacom is cracking down on the cinematic trailer. I've updated the one here with a copy they haven't hit yet.

Mid-Week Pick-Me-Up - The Finale!

This is the last one, I promise. And you're welcome for the earworms.

Mid-Week Pick-Me-Up Is Winding Down

Um, Diarist, are you okay?

Yep.

Mid-Week Pick-Me-Up A-Thon

This sort of goes against a vow I once made about playing a certain artist, but it's Craig so why not?

Additional Mid-Week Pick-Me-Up

Yep. I think you all can see how this day of posting is going to go.

Mid-Week Pick-Me-Up Continues

The Ferguson-a-thon continues ...

More Mid-Week Pick-Me-Up

Really, my faithful readers. I'm having a rough time getting motivated today. So here's another video to help us along!

Mid-Week Pick-Me-Up

If you're anything like me, Wednesdays can be more Mountain Day than Hump Day. I'm always looking for ways to give it life, to have it move, to give it more of a prominent place amongst the days of the week. No matter how hard I try, how far I look, how much I do, it always comes down to this:

Craig Ferguson. Puppets. Michael Franti & Spearhead. A groovin' black man. An infectious beat. A short guy in leather.



And now I'm ready to tackle the day.

A Washington Post Article Causes A Double-Take

The Washington Post published an article today highlighting a local businessman, focusing mostly on his successful *local* chain of gyms. I have several friends who work out at one of his various locations and hear nothing but good things about Vida Fitness so you will get no snark from me over it, him, or this article.

But I did find it a bit comical that someone with intimate knowledge of Near Southeast was ... how to put this ... caught a bit off-guard at the announcement of a new Vida at Navy Yard, The Yards, or anywhere else in the neighborhood for that matter.

Without anything else to go on--and with no neighborhood projects currently touting a 2013 delivery date--we'll just have to wait and see which developer cops to being in talks with Vida.

It will be interesting to see if Mr. von Storch has been in secret negotiations with one of the neighborhood developers to bring a Vida to the area (or if this expansion is as big a surprise to them as well). It certainly would be yet another slap in the face of his soon-to-be-former tenant, who set up shop close to Near Southeast almost ten years ago.

It's For My Glaucoma. Really.

It's official, the District has joined fourteen states in legalizing medical marijuana. Well, technically, D.C. made it legal back in May; Congress will make it legal for D.C. to make it legal at the end of the current Congressional session Monday night by opting to do nothing about it.

Medical marijuana is now legal in the District after the Democrat-controlled Congress declined to overrule a D.C Council bill that allows the city to set up as many as eight dispensaries where chronically ill patients can purchase the drug.

So rejoice, you who suffer chronic (or is that cronic?) pain! Take heart, you who are terminally ill (or is that ill?)! But be afeared, those entrepreneurs who might try to make a quick buck because, while possession and use will be permitted with a prescription, growing the ganga will still be illegal.

Monday, Monday ... Can't Blog That Day

There's really nothing in the news I care to blog about today.

I'm a bit tired of hearing about the two-way race for D.C. mayor.

The original location of Ledo Restaurant is closing, but that would only be news if it weren't moving to a new location nearby (so the site is actually closing, not the restaurant ... *yawn*).

Then there were those storms yesterday and what seems like half of the Washington Metropolitan Area lost power. But, again, it would only be news (and thus blogworthy) if no one lost power.

DDOT released a ton of old photos of D.C., which are very cool. (Well, history is cool.) Last week's news, though. (Still cool, though.)

Anyway, it's a Monday. Enjoy the links.

Busy Day At DCPS

After months of relative silence, Chancellor Rhee has gotten busy again. First, she trims some fat from the school system then she announces some voucher changes. Now, I'm not saying that she's tying up loose ends but one can't help but wonder if she's pushing toward a deadline.

Bang! Pow! Boom!

I love me some video games. I especially love me some FPS games. My singular complaint with the FPS market (specifically the PlayStation FPS market) is that you're still shooting with something that isn't a gun, which can make FPS games a bit challenging.

Well, that looks to soon be remedied and, I have to say, I like the solution.

So, my birthday is right around the corner. Surely some of you can pool your monies together and get this for me, yes?

Burning Bush Not A Sign From God

Okay, okay. I know! This story is not funny. Someone actually getting hurt is not funny. Nearly going blind is not funny.

But someone personally purchasing something called a firestick plant for his landscaping, pruning said plant, and immediately rubbing his eyes before thoroughly washing his hands ... c'mon, that's the kind of stuff that's just made for television.

So here's a lesson for you home gardeners: When gardening, wash your hands before touching your face ... or any other sensitive part of your body. (Surely that could have been one of the commandments.)

Get Your Grub On!

Restaurant Week is coming!

The summer-time version is slated for August 16-22, 2010. Here are some very helpful suggestions for you:

• Pick a highly rated, expensive place where you would not otherwise eat. This is the whole point of Restaurant Week. Well, that and helping out local charities.
• Make your reservations now! The best places book quickly.
  
• Take your favorite peeps along. Seriously. Restaurant Week is one of those times you want to share with other people. When else will you all get to be all gussied up and enjoy fine food prepared by the best of the best? Exactly.
  
• Don't rush yourself. You're going to be in a restaurant you otherwise couldn't afford. Enjoy your time there. Relish it. Soak it all in.
  

Caption This

I saw this picture on The Washington Times website and thought this should make for some entertaining captions by my faithful readers. (Hello? Is anyone out there?) So have at it.



Allow me to start:

"$787 billion in tax dollars spent on jump-starting the economy with nothing to show. Unemployment is at 9.6%, despite my promise to keep it under 8%. Iran is brashly pursuing nuclear weapons. Health insurance reform is the law of the land all across America, against the will of the American people. My Justice Department is suing the state of Arizona while letting the New Black Panther Party off Scot free. Not bad for a couple years' work."

Is This Bizarro World?

I don't even know what to think about this bit of news.

Former Mayor Anthony A. Williams joined Mayor Adrian M. Fenty and Council member Jim Graham Tuesday morning in Columbia Heights for the unveiling of a commemorative plaque in honor of all three of them and the nonprofit that helped make DCUSA possible.

But the event in the lobby of the building anchored by Target resembled a campaign endorsement of Fenty (D) and Graham (D-Ward 1).

I admit that Mayor Fenty has done some fine work during his tenure as mayor. He also has some worrisome errors in judgment and ethical missteps that paint a troubling portrait for the future should he be reelected. The only thing Gray detractors say against him is that we don't know enough about him to know how he will actually lead the city should he be elected ... that we still have too many questions about him that need answering.

And, yes, we don't really know how Mr. Gray will behave, should he be elected. Will the improvements started during the Williams Administration continue to move along smoothly, or will they be weighted down by consensus-building? Will the city government go back to the days of corruption and ineptness? Will the District become the Crime Capital of the nation once again? Will the public school system fall back to its pre-Williams days? Will the city become the model for public transportation or will needed improvements like bike lanes and streetcars be scuttled?

Mr. Gray needs to continue engaging "new media" folk and continue making himself available to the public in order to make himself more real to the voters. Because, as a friend put it to me recently, the city will "vote for the known evil".

Week-End Reading

Here's some of today's news for you reading enjoyment.

• The house is a-rockin' ...: I'm sure you're heard or read (or felt) all about this morning's excitement by now. The rumblings weren't detected at Diary Central but that might be because The Diarist is a heavy sleeper.
  

• Simply hedging their bets?: Though not exactly admitting to a design flaw, Apple has decided to appease the pitchfork-and-torch-wielding mob with freebies. Can't say I blame 'em, though it shouldn't have taken a grassroots effort to get them to do what should have been done last month when the issue was first discovered.
  

• New major development in SE living: The Washington City Paper is reporting that the run-down Skyland Shopping Center's days are numbered. The site is currently home to an AutoZone, Blimpie's, CVS, USPS warehouse, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Hill Top Cleaners, New York Fried Chicken, Murry's, Shoe City, Squashallbeefs Sports, Sports Zone, Kelly's Carry-Out, Discount Mart, Field's Music, Beauty World, and Alabama Express Liquor. We'd rather that this hadn't been the Charlie Foxtrot that it's been the past 10 years, but we are glad that Middle River East is finally getting some much needed redevelopment.

Shoes On Other Feet

A common Liberal talking point is to paint conservatives as racist. Yes, some within the Republican party have made bigoted comments. But it seems often all that it takes to get one painted as a racist is to show any push-back to Obama, his agenda, or his policies. It's a good thing that the Democrats run such a tight ship, keeping their party members in line with the Liberal vision of a new America.

Huh? What's that?

It's interesting that Obama's flagging numbers on the economy have been driven not by white Republicans or white Independents but rather by white Democrats.

Since April, white Democratic approval of Obama's handling of the economy is down 20 points, from 80 percent to 60 percent. And, nearly as many white Democrats now strongly disapprove of how he's dealing with the issue as those who strongly approve (25 strongly disapprove; 28 strongly approve).

Hmm. I wonder how this narrative is going to fit into the Liberal propaganda machine?

Have You Heard The One About ...

Okay, here's an oldie-but-goodie for you:

Q: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

A: The party-pooping scientist!

Letterman Takes On iPhone Issues

Last night, David Letterman's Top 10 list took on Apple's iPhone 4 issues.



What does this have to do with D.C.? Well, nothing at all ... but you knew I would find a connection somehow. I honed in on Number 6 and thought that this wasn't so much a sign that you purchased a bad iPhone than you purchased the Limited-Edition Achmed iPhone. (This entertainer was filmed at the Warner Theatre ... ah-HA!)

One More Obstacle Down

Yep, kids, you can't stop progress, no matter how hard you try. Now, sing along with me!