Okay, okay. I know! This story is not funny. Someone actually getting hurt is not funny. Nearly going blind is not funny.
But someone personally purchasing something called a firestick plant for his landscaping, pruning said plant, and immediately rubbing his eyes before thoroughly washing his hands ... c'mon, that's the kind of stuff that's just made for television.
So here's a lesson for you home gardeners: When gardening, wash your hands before touching your face ... or any other sensitive part of your body. (Surely that could have been one of the commandments.)