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This is by far one of my most favorite commercials of all time. Wouldn't you agree, Tuffie?

Random Music Tuesday: "She Wolf" by Shakira

Releasing her third English album and her sixth album overall, Shakira has completely transformed herself from a gritty girl rocker to a sultry dance-pop sex kitten. To quote the artist, this song is about "a more animalistic side of you, a more primitive side … an animal person in a way, So when you understand these things you forgive yourself every time you screw up, you say, It wasn’t me, that was the she wolf … that was the animal in me, that wasn’t me, I have nothing to do with that".

Um, okay.

So it doesn't really matter what the song is about. What matters is the music. And the music is quite catchy. If you haven't heard it, here it is. Take a quick listen.

Shakira - New Music - More Music Videos

My only beef with the song, and the one part that cracks me up inside, is that pathetic excuse for a howl in the chorus. Really, Shakira? You're a friggin' she wolf. Let it out! Let it out! Let it out! If you don't know how to, take the following ... the textbook, the master, the one any future howlists should try to emulate.


Warren Zevon - Werewolves of London

R.I.P., Patrick Swayze

Patrick Swayze died tonight of pancreatic cancer.

I may get some ribbing for this, but I liked Patrick Swayze. He was one of those actors who showed equal parts strength and vulnerability. I think he was one of the more underrated actors because he happened to get typecast after "Dirty Dancing" and "Ghost". But just read the reviews of Swayze's performance in "The Beast" and you'll see that he wasn't just a romantic lead. In fact, he never took himself too seriously. Which leads me to one of my most favorite Patrick Swayze moments ... one that involved a certain TV show, a certain physical comedy actor, and a certain night club.

Patrick Swayze - Chippendale

Vaya con Dios, Mr. Swayze.

Dear Washington Capitals

Thank you for my 2009-2010 Season Tickets. They came in on Thursday and I am ecstatic to have them! I remember when my 2008-2009 Season Tickets came in. They arrived via UPS in one of their plastic envelopes; inside were the tickets, a letter from you thanking me for being a fan, and a wonderfully useful shoulder bag (perfect for a sleep-over or a jaunt through the city.

This year's tickets, as you know, came in a large UPS box. The box had a good deal of heft on it. Then I opened the box and found within it another box. And it pretty box it was too!


I was so excited to receive this box! Whatever could be inside? A keepsake ornament? A metal box in which to keep this year's tickets? A t-shirt? I opened the box and found ... a piece of filler paper and this ...


No keepsake ornament. No metal box in which to keep this year's tickets. No t-shirt. Just the filler paper, the letter, the guide, and the tickets.

Now, I'm not the most environmentally conscious person on the planet, but even I can see what a waste this packaging was. Why did you send such small items in such a large box? That doesn't make any sense, especially not from an organization that has lately been priding itself with its lack of waste.

Why, Washington Capitals? Why?!

If you read this (and I know you don't) and if you'll take my advice (which I know you won't), PLEASE do not do this again in the future. For one, it's extremely wasteful. For two, after raising the expectations of the season ticket buyer who has received the package, it's a big disappointment to your fans.

Thanks,
The Diarist

This Infamous Day

Today is the eleventh of September. You probably already knew that, unless of course you live life without calendars or are so far removed from civilization that time holds no meaning to you. This day will be filled with tributes on the television, over the radio, and across the Internet to those who fell in those terrorist attacks in New York City, Arlington/DC, and Stonycreek Township.

Last year, I wrote a remembrance to that horrible day eight years ago. I had written a tribute every year and I honestly thought about skipping a tribute this year. I couldn't see the point of rehashing and reliving that day. I couldn't find a reason for posting something. Besides, I couldn't think of anything more to add to what I've already said.

Except this.

Time has a nasty habit of dimming the memory, of easing the sense of urgency, of numbing the pain. With each year that passes, I fear that we lose the harsh, cruel lessons we learned on that day.

And for that reason I post this. That day is as real to me now as it was then. I haven't forgotten. I hope you never do either.

Random Music Tuesdays: "My Maria" by Brooks & Dunn

One of the longest running and biggest country music acts in the business is ending. Brooks & Dunn has decided that after twenty years of sweet music it is time to break up the band.

"This ride has been everything and more than we could ever have dreamed ... We owe it all to you, the fans," Kix Brooks and Ronnie Dunn said in the message. "If you hear rumors, don't believe them, it's just time."

While not a big fan myself, I do appreciate when musicians can play together and stay on top of their game for as long as these two men have. And so, in honor of such a long and illustrious career, I offer you one of their biggest hits.

Enjoy!

My Maria - Brooks & Dunn

More On Texting While Driving

Remember this? Apparently, the states cannot be trusted to make what laws they feel are best for their people ... thus this.

Random Music Tuesdays: "Common People" by William Shatner

Wait, Diarist. William Shatner?!

Yes. William Shatner.

Now I know this flies in the face of all that is good and wholesome in music. I know that Shatner is known more for the cadence of his delivery than for his singing chops. (Don't believe me? This live performance is infamous!) The absolute failure of his first music album should all but ensure that his name should never, ever grace anyone's music list.

Yet here is is. This week's Random Music Tuesdays choice for your listening pleasure. And he would never be here were it not for the saving grace, musical genius, and production skills of one auditory visionary who saw the potential in Shatner that none other in the universe could see.

And for that, Mr. Folds, I thank and salute you.

Because Has Been has got to be one of the best albums you've never heard or owned. (And if you have heard it and/or own it, you'll no doubt agree with me whole-heartedly.)

This isn't a review of the album. (Mostly because, if it were, it would be about five years late.) No, I believe that this album can speak for itself. There is so much heart, so much emotion, so much raw power in it to be ignored. And, like the Borg, resistance to it is futile.

I know you're still skeptical. That's why I've brought this offering. The opening track is such good fun ... and the vocals are so emotively powerful ... that all of your skepticism will be swept away. So listen to the track. Then buy yourself a copy and see what you've been missing these past five years.

Nassif Building Returns to Life

Well, it isn't the Nassif Building anymore. Now it's called the Constitution Center. And it's much prettier with this facelift.

Before ...



After ...



Now all they need is a tenant.

The New "Drinking And Driving"

A recent study has shown that texting while driving is not one of the best ideas.

After examining the behavior of truck drivers covering more than 6 million miles of road, the Virginia Tech Transportation Institute concluded that people who send text messages while driving are 23 times more likely to be in a crash (or what they call a near-crash event) than nondistracted drivers.

I have been guilty of texting while driving, though lately I've been severely curtailing my texting time to red lights. But even that is not a good idea, since fourteen states plus the District of Columbia have banned texting behind the wheel.

The message in all of this? Don't use your cell phone while driving unless it's an absolute emergency.

Too Soon?

My answer, in a word, is YES! People, there's a reason parks, monuments, airports, et cetera are named after people after history has borne out that person's worthiness of such an honor. It's so that we don't look back in embarrassment on an emotional mistake. I strongly urge my city council to postpone this proposal at least until the man is out of office.

Random Music Tuesdays: "Somnambulist (Simply Being Loved)" by BT

This week's featured song is by another hometown star, BT, who hails from Rockville, MD. It's probably his most famous song and holds the Guinness Book of World Records in 2003 for the largest number of vocal edits in a song . Plus it's catchy. So enjoy!

Somnambulist (Simply Being Loved) - BT

Random Music Tuesday: Michael Jackson

Today, in case you didn't know, was the final send-off for Michael Jackson. In honor of one of the world's greatest entertainers ever (and because I've already said my peace), I offer not a song from the man but something marginally better. Because while imitation may be the greatest form of flattery, spoofing is the greatest form of honoring.

"Weird Al" Yankovic - Fat

Busted ... Yet Again - UPDATED

It seems these days, my councilmember has been spending more time fighting for his freedom than he has been fighting for the benefit of the Ward he was elected to represent. I guess he simply has too much time on his hands ... and we all know what they say about idle hands.

Seriously, Ward 8, can we finally say enough is enough and elect someone who actually bring some positive attention to our neighborhoods instead of appearing in mug shots? Is there any way we can forcibly remove him from office? I know the man created the District Youth’s Employment Act of 1979 (a.k.a. "the summer youth work program"), which gave a great number of District residents their first job and important first steps toward a brighter future; but he's been riding that PR gravy train for thirty years. He has done nothing over the past twenty years but make our city (and our Ward) a punchline. He is an embarrassment and a distraction. He has to simply go away.

We need and deserve better than this.

UPDATE - 13:17: Right on cue, we have dueling stories. one version came from one of the horses' mouths. The alternate story came from the other horses' attorney's mouth.

The Stella Awards

I got an email today from a friend about this year's Stella Awards. I found the email so funny that I was going to post it on here. Unfortunately, while quite humorous, the list was totally bogus. So I found the real site with the real awards. And now, here for your ready pleasure, are the latest (2007) Stella Awards Runners-Up and Winner. (And, believe me, you'll love the winner since he's a hometown boy.)

The TRUE Stella Awards -- 2007 Winners
by Randy Cassingham
Issued February 2008

Unlike the FAKE cases that have been highly circulated online for the last several years (see http://www.StellaAwards.com/bogus.html for details), the following cases have been researched from public sources and are confirmed TRUE by the ONLY legitimate source for the Stella Awards: http://www.StellaAwards.com. To confirm this copy is legitimate, see http://www.StellaAwards.com/2007.html.

-v-

2007 Runners-Up and Winner:

#3: Sentry Insurance Company.

The company provided worker's compensation insurance for a Wisconsin "Meals on Wheels" program. Delivering a meal, a MoW volunteer (who was allegedly not even wearing boots) slipped and fell on a participant's driveway that had been cleared of snow, and Sentry had to pay to care for her resulting injuries. Sentry wanted its money back, so it sued the 81-year-old homeowner getting the Meals on Wheels service. It could have simply filed for "subrogation" from her homeowner's insurance company, but by naming her in the action, it dragged an old lady into court, reinforcing the image of insurance companies as concerned only about the bottom line, not "protecting" policyholders from loss.

#2: The family of Robert Hornbeck.

Hornbeck volunteered for the Army and served a stint in Iraq. After getting home, he got drunk, wandered into a hotel's service area (passing "DANGER" warning signs), crawled into an air conditioning unit, and was severely cut when the machinery activated. Unable to care for himself due to his drunkenness, he bled to death. A tragedy, to be sure, but one solely caused by a supposedly responsible adult with military training. Despite his irresponsible behavior -- and his perhaps criminal trespassing -- Hornbeck's family sued the hotel for $10 million, as if it's reasonably foreseeable that some drunk fool would ignore warning signs and climb into its heavy duty machinery to sleep off his bender.

But those pale in comparison to...

THE WINNER of the 2007 Stella Award: Roy L. Pearson Jr.

The 57-year-old Administrative Law Judge from Washington DC claims that a dry cleaner lost a pair of his pants, so he sued the mom-and-pop business for $65,462,500. That's right: more than $65 million for one pair of pants. Representing himself, Judge Pearson cried in court over the loss of his pants, whining that there certainly isn't a more compelling case in the District archives. But the Superior Court judge wasn't moved: he called the case "vexatious litigation", scolded Judge Pearson for his "bad faith", and awarded damages to the dry cleaners. But Pearson didn't take no for an answer: he's appealing the decision. And he has plenty of time on his hands, since he was dismissed from his job. Last we heard, Pearson's appeal is still pending.

Copyright 2008 www.StellaAwards.com -- this message may be forwarded as long as it remains complete and unaltered.

Good Morning ... WTF?! (Explosion On Good Hope Road SE)

My condo building was evacuated around 07:00 this morning by D.C. Fire and Rescue. One of the units on my floor exploded. I have no word yet on the cause of the blast. Only the owner of the unit was injured; his injuries were not life-threatening. The rest of us are standing around outside, waiting on more details of what happened. I hope to have more later.






















-- Post From My iPhone


UPDATE - 08:43: Around 08:00, we were allowed back into the building. It appears that roach bombs were the cause of the explosion. Apparently, the unit owner wasn't home when the exterminator visited our building a bit ago and so still had roaches. The unit owner had one roach bomb in the bathroom and two in the kitchen (in cabinets). The fire investigator believes that the stove's pilot light ignited the chemicals from the roach bombs. I was with Regina (the condo board president), Vernon (our maintenance guy), and 7th District Police Officer Schramm when they went into the unit. I took a look around (from the outside of the unit) and listened to their conversation. And let me tell you, we were lucky. The unit owner has crap piled up all over the place, with a couple walkways between the piles of crap. There were paint cans under the dining room table. There were all sorts of chemicals in the kitchen (where the explosion apparently originated). If any of those other chemicals had exploded ... if any one piece of the crap in that unit had caught fire ... well, this would have been a vastly different post.

Oh. Yeah. And the roaches survived the whole ordeal.

UPDATE - 15:08: My photos are on WJLA's website.

UPDATE - 03:47: DCist links to the WJLA website, siting that WJLA was reporting the story ... which is true ... except that The District Diaries reported it first (and as it happened) then tipped off WJLA.

Oh. Yeah. And yes, IntangibleArts, the bugs are all OK. For now.

Random Music Tuesdays: "You're The Only One" by Maria Mena

Okay, technically this a love song ... or at least a song about romantic relationships. But that's not how I was introduced to it. And that's not the message I took away from it. This week's song is about finding that person who gets you in ways that no one else in the universe ever possibly could.

Maria Mena's song "You're The Only One", from her 2004 album Mellow, was written as a love song. But this song was brought to my attention by First Brain. And he's the first person I think of when I hear it. Because to me, this isn't a romantic love song but a platonic one ... a song for those lucky people who have that person (friend, love, whatever) in their life who simply gets them ... no explanations, no excuses, no editing.

First Brain, this week's song goes out to you. I hope life treats you well and that you accept the best that life offers you.

Youre The Only One - Maria Mena

Love ...

...

1. requires constant communication and reassurance to flourish, much like how a plant needs light and water to grow.
2. is alive and subject to the same rules as any other life on earth.
3. is universal.
4. should not be attached to strings but far-too-often is.
5. , along with Time, can heal any wound.
6. is painful and worth every moment of it.
7. stands by you even when it isn't easy to do so.

... is not ...

1. vacuumed sealed.
2. universally understood.
3. up for negotiation.
4. to be taken for granted.
5. static.
6. limited to one plain of being.
7. to be hoarded away like a life's saving because ...

... Love is best spent on others, and ...

... Love is what you bring into my life and I cherish it more than I can often express.

In Memoriam

I know yesterday saw the deaths of two icons. But, at heart, I'm a musician and an entertainer so I have my bias. You will forgive me that (because it's my blog).

Michael Jackson, in his later years, was a target of ridicule and law suits. Perhaps it was justified, perhaps it wasn't. For the record, I have made my fair share of pedophilia jokes. Even counting all of that, Michael Jackson rises amongst the highest firmament of entertainment stardom. His songwriting, his singing, and/or his dancing has inspired countless performers after him. And his album Thriller is the best selling album of all time ... ever ... in the entire world, if not universe. He knew how to write. He knew how to sing. He knew how to dance. If he could have fit acting and ending war in there, then we'd call him a god.

Yet he is a god. He climbed to heights of fame and fortune and popularity that many of us aspire, in some fashion or another. He was not just America's, like Elvis ... he was the world's. He could weather any storm and still be loved.

And his music.

MJ was a musical genius. His songwriting. His ability to capture a hook. The way he could manipulate you into empathizing with the message he was trying to put across.

And his showmanship, to include his dancing and stage presence. What? It's been ages since you've seen him perform? You're too young to remember? Well, sift through these videos and witness the man who has inspired so many entertainers you see today. When he danced, MJ defied the laws of physics. I remember the first time the world saw the "Moonwalk". There was a universal gasp, followed by "How the F*CK did he DO that?!"

He wasn't perfect. But then, who among us is. What he was was good at what he did. And what he did was bring some joy and some magic into our lives. And that, my faithful readers, is enough to take a moment and reflect on who we are and what we are doing to influence those around us.

I mourn the loss of another innovator. I mourn the loss of another musical genius. I mourn the loss of another entertainer who will inspire another generation to keep the arts alive. I know you mourn with me.

I will leave you with the first popular music video (or popular music anything) my father and I shared. I don't quite remember how old I was ... perhaps twelve or thirteen ... but I remember being up way too late on a school night. I remember sitting in the living room with my dad. Just the two of us. I remember MTV being on, which was a major oddity in my house. And I remember this video coming on. My dad said something along the lines of, "This guy's a bit of a fruit. And I don't like this song ... it's pretty demonic. But he can sure dance." And he and I watched the entire video. It was the first time that my parents implicitly let me enjoy secular music. It was the first time I was permitted to enjoy modern music openly that I had enjoyed privately with my oldest brother. It was the first time I was introduced to the music of Michael Jackson.

Enjoy!

Oh, The Possibilities Of An Epic Fail ...

... even more so than some other films he's helmed. Don't get me wrong, his first two films were pretty darned good. But then ... well ... imagine, if you will, a high cliff and a roadrunner and a coyote. 'Nuff said for how he's fared since then.

Still, while he may have written the screenplay for the movie, he's working from the story from the television series. As long as he is faithful to the source material and doesn't try to get all creative and shit, I think he'll be fine. Because this series was one of my most favorite of all time. Hell, I was even pleased with the series finale. (And those of you who really know me know that I'm typically disappointed with how people wrap things up.)

So, as my personal motto goes, I'm hoping for the best but expecting the worst from this.

Don't you !@#$%^& disappoint me, bi-atch!

(Click here to see what I'm all worked up about.)