Reminiscing

My favorite people who are no longer with me are Mel Batten and my grandmother, Millie Osborn.

I'll start with Grandmother. She is still the most precious person to me that I've known. I was her first grandchild born with blue eyes and so was special to her. Special to the point that I was the only grandchild with a pet name ... "My Precious Blue Eyes". It was so iconic that my oldest brother decided to roast me during her wake. But now, even all these 13 years later, it brings tears to my eyes. I miss her so terribly. I wish she were still here to give me love, advice, comfort, and support. I know that for as long as I can remember her, she is still here. But it would be so nice to hear her voice, to hear her say that she's proud of the person I've become, to hear her say how much she loves her Precious Blue Eyes. I would give anything for that right now.

Mr. Batten. My second father figure. The man who gave me my confidence back. I miss him so much. I think about Mr. Batten almost on a daily basis. I have so many memories (a certain toilet papering comes to mind) but the one memory that sticks in the forefront of my mind is a bus ride home from Calvert County after a long Tri-County Honors Chorus rehearsal. I was sitting alone in a bus seat and Mr. Batten moved to sit beside me. We talked a while about the rehearsal. I gave him a hard time about giving me a hard time during rehearsal. And then he said something that has stuck with me even after all these years. "You are the son I would have had." I knew how special it was then. And I know how much more special it is to me now.

The hardest part of life is that it ends. And those of us left behind are left to deal with the aftermath.

Random Music Tuesdays: "Mama Look-A Boo Boo (Mama Look-A Bubu)" by Harry Belafonte and Danny Kaye

It's been a while since I've brought you random music so I think it's about time I bring it back. To start us off anew, I figured I would present a video (a first for Random Music Tuesdays!). This is Harry and Danny performing one of Harry's biggest hits on The Danny Kaye Show on 27 April 1966.

There is some confusion among people about this song; people can't seem to understand it. I think this confusion is rooted in the Americanized title of the song. The most popular spelling for the title is "Mama Look-A Boo Boo", which makes this a completely nonsensical song. However, the alternate spelling, which I included in this post title, is "Mama Look-A Bubu", which makes much more sense since bubu is Jamaican slang for fool. Keep that in mind as you listen to the lyrics.

Enjoy!

Harry Belafonte and Danny Kaye
Uploaded by paleopale

Hello? Is Anybody Home?

*cough cough* Hey! Diarist! Diarist? Hello?! *cough cough*

Oh! Um ... hi! Hello there! You startled me.

Yeah. Well, your door was open. What's with all the *cough cough* cobwebs? Did your cleaner take a vacation or something? Is this some emo trip you're on that we should know about?

Sorry about that. I've been busy with other things. You know, like making ends meet and keeping a roof over my head. But I'll clean up around here soon. I promise.

Mmm hmm. Just like you promised that ...

He-e-e-e-e-ey. Have you seen the whole house? I know you in the back have. But you, the eager one. Have you? No? Then ixnay on the omisespray and have a look around. And when you're done (and I haven't tidied up any) there are some fantastic links on the right to some fantastic reading that could occupy your time until I get my sh!t together here.

Go on now. Enjoy!

But don't break anything.

That's My Coucilmember!

Marion Barry has once again failed to file tax returns. But this time the Feds want him incarcerated. It seems as though The Night Owl won't be able to snake his way out of this one.

I can't really blame Barry for his actions. He's used to living a life free of consequences (minus one minor hickup). Besides, it's not like the Federal government isn't full of role models for him to emulate.

No, the only failing I can find in all of this is that the Ward 8 Councilmember isn't part of the Obama administration.

"Yeah. I don't want to cure anybody here. They all deserve to have whatever they have."

That quote is taken from Pete's Dragon, a 1977 Walt Disney movie. In the movie is Doc Terminus, a "salesman" who isn't all that he appears, as he peddles his powerless "cures" onto the town's pliable population. It's a timely quote because it sums up what your government thinks of you.

While the President puts on his best Doc Terminus impression and members on Congress struggle hard to find a middle ground, I think it would help us, the ones who will be paying for all of this, to reflect on what came of the first bailout:

The Bush administration overpaid tens of billions of dollars for stocks and other assets in its massive bailout last year of Wall Street banks and financial institutions, a new study by a government watchdog says.

The Congressional Oversight Panel, in a report released Friday, said last year's overpayments amounted to a taxpayer-financed $78 billion subsidy of the firms.

But this is the Obama administration and the Democrats have the majority in Congress. Hope! Change!

Mmm hmm. Would you like some snake oil with that hope and change?

But I do have to agree with the good Doc ... neither Congress nor this President wants to cure us; they only want to expand on their wealth and power. If we allow them to push through this "economic stimulus recovery", then we deserve to have whatever we have.

Pictures From Recording

I promised pictures and here they are. They aren't much but they should give you an idea of what Mario brought together for his new album.

Obama Economic Plan - Quote Of The Day

Maybe you've heard that President Obama's economic recovery plan now tops more than $900 billion. To help you grasp how much that is, here is a quote from Temple University math professor and author John Allen Paulos:

A million dollars a day for 2,000 years is only three-quarters of a trillion dollars. It's a big number no matter how you slice it. A million seconds is about 11½ days. A billion seconds is about 32 years, and a trillion seconds is 32,000 years. People tend to lump them together, perhaps because they rhyme, but if you think of it in terms of a jail sentence, do you want to go to jail for 11½ days or 32 years or maybe 32,000 years? So, they're vastly different, and people generally don't really have a real visceral grasp of the differences among them.

Let's look at that again ... a trillion seconds equals 32,000 years. That is the jail sentence that the President wants to impose on us, the American people.

Let that sink in for a moment. Then get mad that your government wants to make us foot this monsterous bill for something that more than likely isn't necessary and won't work.

Random Thoughts (NYC Edition)

I've had a few clouds passing through my brain this week and I thought I'd share. Lucky you.

1. Big cities are big cities. Although they each have their own flavor, they're pretty much all the same. I feel just as comfortable and "at home" here as I do in The District.
2. New Yorkers aren't as dickish as their caracatures would lead one to believe. But then maybe I haven't met any real New Yorkers yet.
3. The only advantage that New York City has over Washington, D.C., that I can tell, is sheer volume. Them's hardly be braggin' rights.
4. Speaking of volume, it seems that, no matter the neighborhood in NYC, there is a Starbucks on every friggin' corner. This is both a fantastic thing and a blight on the face of the earth.
5. Macs rule. I hate that I had to take my Vista instead.
6. As fun as this trip has been, it will never trump last year's trip with The Brain.
7. That last thought makes me sad.
8. Oh ... did I mention how fantastic Mario Spinetti is? I did? Well, he is.
9. Buses should never be cancelled over 1.5" of snow. This would never happen in The District. *cough cough*
10. The more work I do with music, the more I hunger to be doing music for a living. It makes me wish I had been born 15 years later than I was. Yeah, yeah ... it's never to late to blah, blah, blah. Reality is that in certain areas of life it is too late. The music business is a young person's game -- start young, make it young. Technology has truly brought power down from the few to the many and if it had been around when I was younger I would have a musical career today.

My Semi-Secret Mission In NYC

Several of my readers know that I'm in NYC the first half of this week. Only two or three of you know why.

And now so will the rest of you.

I was invited by one of my favorite new recording artists to lend my voice to three songs on his upcoming debut full-length album. (If you don't know about Mario Spinetti, check my posts here and here, then go to iTunes or Amazon and buy his currently-out EP.) Originally, Mario sent out an invitation to his fans to participate in one of the new songs on his upcoming album. I responded (as you knew I would) and got the nod. The fantastic twist in all of this was that not only would I be adding my voice to the 50+ chorus on the new song, I would also be singing with his close vocalist friends on two other songs as well. This was quite a surprise to me, as Mario has only briefly met me twice and we've only chatted online about six times.

Mario is simply one of the sweetest, most gracious people I've ever met. He treats all those around him equally (both in comparison to each other and to himself). He truly appreciates the talent and energy of the people around him ... in fact, it fuels him and drives him forward. It was an education watching him interact and direct and pull out of the singers present what he needed from them. To get that from a room full of performers without becoming overbearing or diva-like is an accomplishment.

Singing with these two choirs filled me with emotions I haven't felt in a long time. I felt part of something greater than myself (relationship aside *MUAH*) that I haven't felt since The Consort. In a way, I felt undeserving ... the odd man out in this gathering of friends. Yet here I was, joining them in voice on some mighty powerful pieces of composition. I can't express enough the gratitude I have for being allowed to have been a part of it all.

And these performers! Yes, they are all New Yorkers which would lead one to think that the carry some level of pretension, and maybe they do. But if they do, it wasn't on display last night. It was refreshing to have been pulled in and treated as if they had known me their whole lives. The support given, the energy shared, the joy that permeated the room was ... what's the word? Real. Honest. Free. I truly wish them all the best in their various endeavors.

I have some pictures from the 50+ chorus along with a short video of Mario giving instruction for the recording of that one song. I'll be posting them when I get back to D.C. later in the week.

Thursday's Event

It hasn't completely sunk in despite the facts that it happened over twelve hours ago and that I knew it was going to happen sooner rather than later. Maybe when I come to complete terms with it, I might make sense out of it and find the silver lining. Right now, all I see are the clouds. It isn't completely all about what transpired today. I take into account all that has occurred over the past five months that led up to the moment. The only thing I keep coming up with is that I have lost more than I can express and there are only two or three people who can fully understand how deeply this is affecting me.

A Passing Phase Or A Taste Of Things To Come?

Looking over the list of parties happening in the city over the course of this inauguration week/end, keeping in mind the Big Concert On The Mall yesterday, and knowing that the biggest Rock Star President Of Probably Ever will be sworn in tomorrow, one cannot help but think of all of the celebrities crawling all over our fair District. And then one is led to think, will D.C. become the next celebritropolis?

The beauty of the District is that we see so many powerful and famous people here that we're pretty jaded over the Cult Of Personality. I can't see why rockers, big ballers, Hollywood royalty, or any other person accustomed to the spotlight wouldn't feel comfortable playing in our little sandbox. They can come here and have pretty good assurance that they won't be hassled by the locals.

Yet this is Washington, D.C. We are known for our politics, our conservative lifestyle, our ... antisocial attitude. That's not really the petri dish of adulation and worship that private-life stars require to survive. It is that subconscious need to be harassed that keeps the rich and famous in places like New York City and Los Angeles.

Besides, do the citizens of D.C. really want any more prima donnas roaming around all leash-less and whatnot? It's bad enough that we have the President, Vice President, members of Congress, members of the City Council, various ANC commissioners, and transplants from NYC, LA, SF, Dallas, so on and so forth. How much more ego can be shoehorned into our 68.3 square miles of heaven?

Perhaps Barack-N-Roll will be the final piece in Washington's long, yet unspoken, quest for respect from the world's social elite. Perhaps with his coming, our city will attract the same level of snobbery that infests the boroughs of New York City and Milan, the districts of Paris, and the neighborhoods of Los Angeles.

Or perhaps, when this inauguration is over the kings and queens of culture will return from whence they came ... only to return for hearings in front of a Congressional board or as elected (or appointed) members of our Federal government.

An American Prayer

Looking For An Answer

Anyone who has lived as long as I have, especially in Washington, D.C., will know a few people who are HIV Positive. (If you don't, you haven't asked the right questions. And I hope you were safe.) There would be a decent probability that you could have gotten involved, per chance fallen in love, with someone who is HIV Positive.

This got me thinking.

I went online and I did some searching. It doesn't take long ... actually one search on "DC HIV POZ Group" to find a group of Positive people who can come together, talk about their struggles, and just generally enjoy the company of others who know what they are going through. But after a couple of hours of searching, I couldn't find one single group ... not one in the city with the highest HIV rate in the country ... for people who love people who are HIV Positive.

This confounds me.

Yes, I understand how difficult it is for people to realize that they are HIV Positive. I know the things that go through their minds. I know the pain, the anger, the despair, that they go through. I know this because I've had the consolatory discussion with more than my fair share of people I love.

But what about me and people like me, people who love those who are HIV Positive yet don't know how to act around them?

(Don't read too deeply into my last sentence. I'm speaking for the voiceless.)

It honestly does amaze me that, in the HIV Capital of our country, there is not one single support group for those who love or fall in love with someone who is HIV Positive.

Am I the only one who thinks this is ... wrong?

Refer To Previous Post

2008 In Review: The King Is Dead! Long Live The King!

2008 will be remembered like the Washington Redskins' season, off to a good start but stumbling miserably toward the end.

It started on a mixed note ... counting down the ending of 2007 at TOWN with someone I love very much, and finishing with me insanely intoxicated and crying incessantly in the drunk tank. (Looking back with that 20/20 vision of hindsight, it really should have been an omen I should have noted for future reference.)

CHANGES: In February, I took over the hosting duties at Cobalt's Sunday Night Karaoke. I had been a patron there for many years. I knew all of the employees and a vast majority of the other patron's. I have a personality that people seem to enjoy and a desire to just have a good time. For those reasons, I was asked by Cobalt management to become the next Karaoke Jockey. And I accepted. It has been a great ride so far and I'm looking forward to growing the evening as we move to Wednesdays in 2009.

April saw the end of my contract at DHS and thus the end of my employment with MicroSys. I landed another job with SecureForce, thanks to a good friend who works there. It's been up and down due to contracts and so forth. Am I glad I'm here? Absolutely. A better group of people one would be hard pressed to find. The owner values his employees and makes that very evident. Here's to growth, both individually and as a company, in 2009.

ALL THE YOUNG DUDES: 2008 introduced some new friends and built on the foundations of friendships begun in 2007. First Brain, Second Brain, The Dunbar Crew, The Shady Thicket Crew, The PA Crew, Cobalt Staff, TOWN Staff, and anyone else who doesn't fall under a nickname ... thank you for being in my life. I'm a much better person for it.

FAME: In July, I won the first ever "This TOWN Has TALENT" talent contest. I sang "Walking In Memphis" by Marc Cohn. It was an absolute blast to do and awoke in me the long-dormant desire to be a recording artist. I created a MySpace Music page where I have already posted two original songs. I plan on pursuing this further in 2009. SHINE ON, YOU CRAZY DIAMOND!

DANCING IN THE STREETS: I spent more time in bars and clubs in 2008 than I can remember having spent in any single year before. While this is all great fun and I have good friends to keep me lubricated, I think I need to curb this a bit in 2009.

ASHES TO ASHES: I was unfortunate to witness firsthand the slow self-destruction of someone dear to me. It has been difficult to watch but I am honestly unable to alter any course other than my own. I know it's not too late. But the reins are firmly in your hands, my friend.

2008 saw the end of the only romantic relationship I've known the past ten years. Is this a permanent thing? I don't know. Like most things in life, this is not completely in my control. We'll see what happens.

"HEROES": All in all, I'll be glad to see 2008 die the death it deserves. Still, with all the ill-will I have towards this past year, I have seen glimpses of light. And so I move forward to 2009 hopeful that all is not lost, that I am not a complete mess, and that some measure of peace will be found.

GOLDEN YEARS: In ending, take my most heart-felt wishes that your new year is better than your old year. And that you remain a part of my life for many more new years to come.

Love, peace, and chicken grease!

Where I Am At This Exact Moment

The Christmas Toys

COBRA H.I.S.S., Darth Vader, and DESTRO?! Helz yeah!

This Christmas

I've been home from my family's for a couple hours now. This has been, by far, the most difficult Christmas I've ever had. See, it's been about 14 hours since "the kick in the gut". I went down there around 3p with my brave face and everything started out well enough. I stayed strong and no one was really the wiser. That is until my sister Tammye put on a video of Christmas 2004 ... the Christmas that you, your sister, and your nieces attended. It took all the willpower I could muster to not lose it right there in the living room, seeing you, seeing me, seeing us all having a wonderful time. It was obvious to more than a couple of my siblings that something was wrong. But you know me; I said nothing.

I can't say that I am anywhere close to understanding what happened between when I left last night and when you posted your blog and sent me your email this morning. I wish I could hate you. I wish I could cut you off completely from my life. It would certainly make thing so much easier to be cold-hearted right now.

But I can't. See, everything I've said to you is true and will remain so until I can learn to see a new path to travel.

This is not something I ever wanted for myself. I never saw us as reliving the past. I could only see my future with you. It is a vision that will be incredibly difficult and immensely painful to let go.

I dread doing it.

This is not quite the Christmas present I asked Santa for.

Christmas Video: The "Wizards Of Winter" House

Simply because it's amazing, even after countless viewings. Enjoy!

A Christmas (Really, A Year-Round) Thought: Helping The Homeless

WTOP posted a short story about how to handle panhandlers. They point you to a couple websites that offer ideas of how you can help. But they left out one important, and easy, way that you can help the homeless ... specifically those homeless who are doing something about lifting themselves from the dire straits in which they find themselves.

So do yourself and them a favor by patronizing one of those yellow-vested people, even if you've already purchased a copy (or ten).