Paralysis

I'm in a bad way.

I'm a creature ruled by reason, led by logic, controlled by his head. Yet here I find myself in a position in which I didn't plan or really want to be. It wasn't so long ago that I was abandoned and didn't know it until too late. That feeling of rejection, after giving my lifeblood for so long, was such a heavy weight to carry. I thought I would carry it well into my forties. But here, now, I find myself at a crossroads.

On the one side, I can walk with reckless abandon. I can release my pain to the universe and accept redemption.

On the other side, I can shut myself further inside this self-imposed box and feed on my personal darkness.

And straight ahead, I can allow healing to a point. I can swallow those most intimate and exposing parts and only give what is easily seen.

I want to say what should be said. I want to give the opportunity a chance. One can never know the thoughts of others unless one takes the risk.

But I do not want to be the only one climbing out on that limb. I had been left out there alone before when it was cut.

I don't know what to do here.

I am paralyzed with indecision.

So You Wanna Sing?

The Washington Nationals and ESPN Zone are holding a contest for a singer.

Anthem Idol at ESPN Zone

Ready for your moment in the spotlight? Get ready to grab a microphone and sing your heart out at ESPN Zone’s Anthem Idol competition, coming Wednesday, July 11th at 6 p.m., and you could be singing the national anthem at an upcoming Nationals game!

Enter today: Stop by ESPN Zone’s SportsCenter Studio Store to reserve your spot in the competition today! The competition will be limited to the first 100 entrants.

On stage: At the event, each contestant will sing 30 seconds of any song (not the national anthem, please). After all the performances, our panel of judges will narrow the field to five finalists, each of whom will take the stage once more, this time to sing the national anthem.

Help decide the winner: Our panel of judges will provide feedback and cast their votes, which will count for half of the final results. The other half, however, comes straight from the fans. Come on out and support your favorite singers, and help them win the chance to sing at a Nats game!

Questions? Please email comments@espnzone.com or call (202) 783-3776 ext. 249.

Think you got the stuff? Bring it!

There Goes the Neighborhood

For the better:

[T]he city, through the D.C. Historic Preservation Office, is providing up to $300,000 in grants to renovate historic Anacostia homes.

Anacostia is truly an astonishing neighborhood that just needs a little shine to help bring out its true beauty. It does my heart good to hear that the city will be offering grants to spruce up the place. Hopefully many of my neighbors will jump at this opportunity.

For the worse:

The Frederick Douglass Memorial Bridge on South Capitol Street will be closed beginning at 12:01 a.m. tomorrow for extensive reconstruction work. The major commuter artery could be closed for two months.

This means that all you fine people from Southern Maryland will be driving through my neighborhood, gumming up my streets, and adding to my commute time with your ridiculous driving habits. Joy.

Exposed!

Several District news agencies have reported on the state of exposed streetlight wiring. I'm here to report that ... very little has changed. Take this example on the corner of 17th Street and Riggs Street, NW. Not only is the wire exposed, it's sticking out of the fixture!


Or how about this one at New Hampshire Avenue and N Street, NW? Sure, the wire is neatly wound up inside of the fixture but it's still open to curious hands.


Now before you think I'm being too hard on the city, before you think that the city just doesn't have the resources or the equipment to seal these open lights, I just want to point out that the fix doesn't have to be exact. The city doesn't have to find exactly-built-to-specification fixes for these open dangers. Just a little ingenuity will do for a quick fix until long-term fixes can be acquired. Like this brilliant piece of thinking outside the box ...


The city really needs to do something ... anything ... to seal off these dangers from the public before someone gets seriously injured.

All pictures taken by me with my Palm® Trēo™ 650.

I Do Not Know How to ...

... simply be a patron.
... date.
... see myself the way others see me.
... express myself without stumbling over my words and sounding like a blithering idiot.
... break down these walls.
... ask for help.
... accept criticism without taking it personally.
... learn from some of my mistakes.
... be completely open and honest without hiding behind the anonymity of the Internet(s).