Friday Afternoon Funny

Laughter is the best medicine.

It cures a multitudes of ills ... physical, mental, emotional. It elevates the weight of stress and the daily grind. It's addictive and infectious and comforting. And it's free.

So here is my Friday gift to you. Laugh along (I defy you to do otherwise).

UPDATE: 09/24/2010 16:08: I was having issues with the video and have removed it. So just follow this link and enjoy.

Karma Kameleon

Martena Clinton, mugging for the camera in this choreographed photo.

A few things jump out at me over this story:

1. "Clinton has the handicapped tag because her husband suffered a stroke."
2. "She displayed a handicapped tag prominently, locked her car and checked with a police officer who happened to be parked right behind her. He assured her the spot was legal."
3. The "police had not kept track of where they had moved" her car.
4. The car was a block and a half away.

It sucks to have your car towed. It gives you a lead-in-the-belly feeling that just makes you sick. People shouldn't have to go through that, especially after being assured by a police officer that you are legally parked.

That said, it serves her right. As commenters on the article have pointed out, while parking in a handicapped spot was legal because she had a handicap tag, the use of said tag is not legal because ... well ... she's not handicapped. If I had been the officer, I would have informed her of that little fact and had her move the car.

In which case, she most likely would have parked farther away and her car would have most likely not been moved.

Karma. She is a bitch.

(Cross-posted on 100 Million Castaways, which you should be reading too.)

Crab Mentality And The Potential Implosion Of The Republican Party

I was reminded of how easy it is to cook crabs after reading this news article at CNN.com this morning.

It seems that the Republican Party is still embroiled in a "civil war" between the Republican Status Quo (RSO) and the Tea Party even though the Primary Election is over. In some cases, such as Delaware and Alaska, the RSO candidate lost. It's usually at this point that the party rallies 'round the Primary winner to help them secure whatever post it is to which they are aspiring. But not so this year.

Now, it's one thing to actively work to defeat someone if you are a member of the opposition, but it is quite another to actively work to defeat someone if you are a member of the same party after the Primary Election results are in. You idiot RSOs had nine months to do all of your sniping, mud-slinging, and character assassinations against these upstarts. And your candidate lost. Now is the time to rally behind the Primary winner. Now is the time to do all you can to ensure that you capture the majority seats in Congress. Now is the time to make your party relevant.

But no. RSOs can't seem to get past the insult of being rejected by the voting members of their own party and feel the upstarts still have a price to pay for their impertinence.

Sharpen those crabby claws, baby. It's almost supper time.

(Cross-posted on 100 Million Castaways.)

A New Creative Outlet

I was invited to, and accepted, a contributorship to a new group blog. To explain it in a nutshell, it's a mental gathering of friends and I expect that it will become the online version of what our get-togethers are like. There's no real direction yet (if there ever will be) and we are a very diverse group in many senses of that word.

So it should be fascinating. And I think you should become part of our crazy ride.

This One's For The Ladies (Or "How To Behave In Public")

As my most faithful readers know, I am the host/KJ (karaoke jockey) of a popular long-running karaoke at a certain D.C. bar. Above all else, we strive to be the most inclusive, relaxing, laid-back karaoke in the city. We want to be the place you go on Wednesday nights to kick back and enjoy a night out with your friends.

Achieving this goal requires some level of effort on the parts of both the staff and the patrons. And, for the most part, we succeed in reaching that perfect balance. But lately that balance has been threatened. And it's by you, ladies. I understand that you, especially those of you who are under the age of 28, are accustomed to a certain way of things. But this is the adult world and things don't work the same as when you were partying out in your sorority house. So I'm going to help you with some pointers of how to behave the next time you come to my weekly shindig.

1. Tip your bartenders. I could appeal to your sense of sympathy for your struggling fellow man by reminding you that bartenders make their living from tips, but you know this already and appear to be unfazed. So I'll put it another way to you ... bartenders pour stronger drinks for people to tip well. Plus, they'll be a bit more inclined to put up with the drunken mess you'll become within the hour.
2. Practice a little patience. You aren't the only person in the song queue. Every one of the people in line ahead of you have been waiting patiently for their turn to sing. You may be used to getting what you want when you want it but, believe me, that won't last forever. And the sooner you learn that, the better off you'll be.
3. Realize that you're amongst adults now. Perhaps shrieking loudly, swinging on the load-bearing pole, and cackling maniacally is normal for a sorority or fraternity house. Please note that this is not a sorority or fraternity house. This is a bar. Full of adults. Who don't much appreciate the immature behavior. Please show a bit more maturity and dignity within these walls by keeping the shrieking to a minimum.
4. Understand that it takes a bit of courage to sing on stage. Yes, even if you're drunk. Show some respect to those who are singing. (See pointer #3.)
5. Every night has an end. Our show officially ends at 1:30 AM. Your private show should end before you get overly intoxicated. Because, trust me, once you've gone beyond the point of "drunk" into "sloppy drunk", you will ignore every single one of these pointers.

I want you to be there. I want you to enjoy yourselves. However, as Iron-Fisted Dictator&trade, I have to keep everyone's fun and enjoyment in mind. That includes the staff as well as the patrons. Please help me make every Wednesday night the most-enjoyable, drama-free night of the week. We have the best karaoke and the best patrons in the entire metro area ... let's all try to keep it that way, hmm?

They're Fixing A Hole

DG-rad at And Now, Anacostia is reporting that our current welcome is being replaced by something shiny and new.

The plywood will soon be replaced by a collage composition of recycled wood blocks and shiny orange metal that celebrates the gateway to Ward 8.

The current blue plywood corner covering was installed after the original wood-and-chain-link corner cover was destroyed by an errant driver.

Here is the original corner covering:



Here is the current corner covering:



And here is the proposed new corner covering:



Now, I'm not fan of the current corner cover. It's ugly, depressing, unwelcoming, and unimpressive. But I don't see this proposed corner cover as any more attractive. I agree with commenter Rob that the orange just doesn't fit with the neighborhood at all and the recycled wood blocks only add to the feeling of abandonment and neglect, especially against the backdrop of so many empty and decaying buildings. (Maybe it will look better in execution than it does in computer rendering.)

I do understand that this is meant to be temporary, until something gets developed in that space. And I hope that by "temporary" we mean "in less than a year". Because, in my honest opinion, the best possible greeting into Anacostia from the neighborhoods to the west is a new, vibrant, and safe historic "downtown" area.