29 November 2007

For One Night - EXPLICIT

My soul is tired. My spirit is broken and cannot pull itself back together again. Goddamned horses and men. Some days it is all that I can do to keep my brave face. But this cannot last for much longer. The strength I once had is diminished.

For one night, I want to feel weak and cry until my eyes bleed. For one night, I want someone to hold me - not to fuck but to fucking be there. For one night, I want someone to say, "I know you are strong, but you cannot be strong always. Rest on me. Let me hold back the hurt for you for tonight." For one night, I want to be swallowed in my sorrow. For one motherfucking night, I want to be someone other than myself.

Maybe, just maybe then, when the sun rises on the morning after that one night, I can finally leave this darkness ... this dankness that has been hanging on me like an oversized trench-coat ... I can leave it all on the floor where I can capture it in the vacuum and throw it out with the onion skins and empty milk cartons and shredded junk mail.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As ev'ry fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

I've looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

-See...even Miss Mitchell doesn't know it all either. I don't think we ever fully understand life or love. It's a series of hits and miss, then we're released from all of it by the sweet promise of death, and hope that reincarnation forgives our past transgressions and bring us back as something better than our former selves.

love
BB-