Death Came Knocking

My neighbor passed away. She rented the unit next to mine from a non-resident owner. Her unit was newly renovated. She moved in a few months ago. She was a 50-something 38 year old woman who took trips for dialysis treatment three times a week. She was on Section 8. She was a smoker who frequently locked herself out of her unit. She had a male friend who visited on multiple occasions. This is all I really know of her.

The smell was noticed on Thursday evening. Her body was discovered on Friday evening, when the MPD and EMS were called in to break into her unit. EMS said that she had been dead for a few days.

Let me explain why there was a day's delay between discovering the smell and breaking into the unit. I cannot think of anyone who has not smelled the distinct scent of rot. It happens all around us every day, mostly in the form of trash that needs taken out. That is the level of stench Thursday night. Everyone who spoke to the police said the same thing, "I smelled it on Thursday night but I thought that someone either needed to take their trash out or had just taken their trash out." On Friday evening, one was smacked with it upon entering the front door. It was gag-enducing. I'm honestly surprised it didn't seep into my unit, either through the wall or under the door. Gag-enducing smells are plenty enough to call the authorities to come break your door down.

Not one of us in the building could name any of her relatives or her male visitor. None of us had a spare key to her unit. None of us had any emergency numbers. Not even the owner was any help. As of Saturday morning, no friends or family members had been identified. No one other than us knows of her death.

I don't really have a life-changing point to make here. I'm simply noting the passing of a neighbor, one I knew very little about.

Well, let me change that. I do have one point. None of us live in a vacuum. It's important to know your neighbors. It's important to know their families. It's important to know their friends. You don't have to be all buddy-buddy, but you do have to know them.

Because you need to know the people you're living around. And you need to know with whom to contact should something horrible happen.

I express my condolences to my neighbor's family and friends. I hope you find out soon and that you find comfort soon after that.

When The Cab Is At The Door, You Have To Take That Ride

Last night I got to thinking about the sudden yet not-completely-unexpected death of Amy Winehouse. She was 27 years old and joined an inauspicious group of famous people who left this physical plane at a young age.

First, I want to note that I didn't say "she left us too soon". Amy died when she was meant to die, not a moment too soon or too late. The world may not have been ready for her to go. But that is our fail of expectation. People die. Sometimes we're ready for it, as when someone suffers from a long-term illness. Sometimes we aren't, as when someone makes a quick exit that we didn't see coming (but should have). That's life.

My grandmother died of heart failure at the young age of 69. She was a feisty woman. She embodied life. But her time was done. I don't agree with it. My mother doesn't agree with it. My father doesn't. My siblings don't. My uncle and cousins don't. She was the dearest person in the world to me and I still hear her laugh, see her smile, smell her perfume and cigarettes. I wanted her to stick around long enough to see me married and with great-grandkids for her to enjoy. But them's the breaks. Her time on this earth was over.

One of my heroes and role models, Melvin Ray Batten, died around the same age and the same time. Mr. Batten was my high school music director. He introduced me to choral music. He taught me how to sing and how to read music. He planted in a small, frail, insecure boy the seed of self confidence. He showed me that the only thing that stands between me and what I want to achieve is me. I wasn't ready for him to go. A good number of people weren't either. But it was his time.

All of that is to say this: people die. We wish they could stick around forever. But they can't. That's not the way this universe was arranged. All we can do is honor their lives, acknowledge their memories, and share their love.

At some point during my week, The Lord Bless You And Keep You will play in my head. I always wear a locket with a picture of my grandmother in it. And I have Back To Black in my iTunes library.

We best honor those we've lost by never forgetting them.

If I Were God ...

... I so totally would!