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2008 In Review: The King Is Dead! Long Live The King!

2008 will be remembered like the Washington Redskins' season, off to a good start but stumbling miserably toward the end.

It started on a mixed note ... counting down the ending of 2007 at TOWN with someone I love very much, and finishing with me insanely intoxicated and crying incessantly in the drunk tank. (Looking back with that 20/20 vision of hindsight, it really should have been an omen I should have noted for future reference.)

CHANGES: In February, I took over the hosting duties at Cobalt's Sunday Night Karaoke. I had been a patron there for many years. I knew all of the employees and a vast majority of the other patron's. I have a personality that people seem to enjoy and a desire to just have a good time. For those reasons, I was asked by Cobalt management to become the next Karaoke Jockey. And I accepted. It has been a great ride so far and I'm looking forward to growing the evening as we move to Wednesdays in 2009.

April saw the end of my contract at DHS and thus the end of my employment with MicroSys. I landed another job with SecureForce, thanks to a good friend who works there. It's been up and down due to contracts and so forth. Am I glad I'm here? Absolutely. A better group of people one would be hard pressed to find. The owner values his employees and makes that very evident. Here's to growth, both individually and as a company, in 2009.

ALL THE YOUNG DUDES: 2008 introduced some new friends and built on the foundations of friendships begun in 2007. First Brain, Second Brain, The Dunbar Crew, The Shady Thicket Crew, The PA Crew, Cobalt Staff, TOWN Staff, and anyone else who doesn't fall under a nickname ... thank you for being in my life. I'm a much better person for it.

FAME: In July, I won the first ever "This TOWN Has TALENT" talent contest. I sang "Walking In Memphis" by Marc Cohn. It was an absolute blast to do and awoke in me the long-dormant desire to be a recording artist. I created a MySpace Music page where I have already posted two original songs. I plan on pursuing this further in 2009. SHINE ON, YOU CRAZY DIAMOND!

DANCING IN THE STREETS: I spent more time in bars and clubs in 2008 than I can remember having spent in any single year before. While this is all great fun and I have good friends to keep me lubricated, I think I need to curb this a bit in 2009.

ASHES TO ASHES: I was unfortunate to witness firsthand the slow self-destruction of someone dear to me. It has been difficult to watch but I am honestly unable to alter any course other than my own. I know it's not too late. But the reins are firmly in your hands, my friend.

2008 saw the end of the only romantic relationship I've known the past ten years. Is this a permanent thing? I don't know. Like most things in life, this is not completely in my control. We'll see what happens.

"HEROES": All in all, I'll be glad to see 2008 die the death it deserves. Still, with all the ill-will I have towards this past year, I have seen glimpses of light. And so I move forward to 2009 hopeful that all is not lost, that I am not a complete mess, and that some measure of peace will be found.

GOLDEN YEARS: In ending, take my most heart-felt wishes that your new year is better than your old year. And that you remain a part of my life for many more new years to come.

Love, peace, and chicken grease!

Where I Am At This Exact Moment

The Christmas Toys

COBRA H.I.S.S., Darth Vader, and DESTRO?! Helz yeah!

This Christmas

I've been home from my family's for a couple hours now. This has been, by far, the most difficult Christmas I've ever had. See, it's been about 14 hours since "the kick in the gut". I went down there around 3p with my brave face and everything started out well enough. I stayed strong and no one was really the wiser. That is until my sister Tammye put on a video of Christmas 2004 ... the Christmas that you, your sister, and your nieces attended. It took all the willpower I could muster to not lose it right there in the living room, seeing you, seeing me, seeing us all having a wonderful time. It was obvious to more than a couple of my siblings that something was wrong. But you know me; I said nothing.

I can't say that I am anywhere close to understanding what happened between when I left last night and when you posted your blog and sent me your email this morning. I wish I could hate you. I wish I could cut you off completely from my life. It would certainly make thing so much easier to be cold-hearted right now.

But I can't. See, everything I've said to you is true and will remain so until I can learn to see a new path to travel.

This is not something I ever wanted for myself. I never saw us as reliving the past. I could only see my future with you. It is a vision that will be incredibly difficult and immensely painful to let go.

I dread doing it.

This is not quite the Christmas present I asked Santa for.

Christmas Video: The "Wizards Of Winter" House

Simply because it's amazing, even after countless viewings. Enjoy!

A Christmas (Really, A Year-Round) Thought: Helping The Homeless

WTOP posted a short story about how to handle panhandlers. They point you to a couple websites that offer ideas of how you can help. But they left out one important, and easy, way that you can help the homeless ... specifically those homeless who are doing something about lifting themselves from the dire straits in which they find themselves.

So do yourself and them a favor by patronizing one of those yellow-vested people, even if you've already purchased a copy (or ten).

Random Music: "Emanuel" by The Consort

Are you sick of Christmas music yet? No? Great! Because I have another song for you.

The song I'm offering today is an original composition and, thus far, has only been performed by The Charles County Consort. The lyrics were written by Yours Truly and the music was composed by Lyn Schramm. This is the only performance (of which I am aware) that was captured on "tape". This is a live performance at St. Andrew's Episcopal Church in Lexington Park, MD during The Sanford Concert Series Christmas Concert 2006.

Enjoy!

Emanuel - The Consort

Democrats: The Best Form Of Torture

Who knew that the way to get terrorists to crack was to elect a Democratic President?

The alleged mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks and four co-defendants told a military judge Monday they want to immediately confess at their war-crimes tribunal, setting up likely guilty pleas and their possible executions.

The five said they decided on Nov. 4, the day President-elect Barack Obama was elected to the White House, to abandon all defenses against the capital charges.

Wow! Maybe change is good!

Christmas Stuff

I have been listening to the radio (WASH-FM to be specific) the past few days and have been enjoying the Christmas tunes they've been playing. For the most part. It reminded me of some posts I wrote last year that I thought I'd share with you again this year.

My Least Favorite Christmas Songs:

• Number 5
  
• Number 4
  
• Number 3
  
• Number 2
  
• Number 1

My Most Favorite Christmas Songs:

• Number 5
  
• Number 4
  
• Number 3
  
• Number 2
  
• Number 1

What are yours? Please let me know in the comments.

The Aftermath

I used to be a confident man, one who was very sure of his place in the universe and the place of all those around him. I used to be a man who knew what he wanted, why he wanted it, and that he could have it. I used to be a man who never doubted.

I'm not that man anymore. It turns out that everything I thought I knew, everything I was so sure about, everything I thought I wanted and could have ... everything was an illusion.

I don't want that to be the case; I don't want what I see now to be my reality. Yet it is.

It was a fool's dream to think that I could have it all; I don't deserve it. I had it once and it was taken away. The universe always corrects its mistakes.

Catch The Wind
Donovan

In the chilly hours and minutes
Of uncertainty, I want to be
In the warm hold of your loving mind,

To feel you all around me,
And to take your hand along the sand.
Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind.

When sundown pales the sky,
I want to hide a while behind your smile;
And everywhere I'd look, your eyes I'd find.

For me to love you now
Would be the sweetest thing; 'twould make me sing.
Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind.

Dee, dee, dee ...

When rain has hung the leaves with tears,
I want you near to kill my fears,
To help me to leave all my blues behind.

Standin' in your heart
Is where I want to be and long to be.
Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind.

Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind.

Random Music: "Over My Head (Cable Car)" by The Fray

The song says it all.

Personal Musings

It's been a while since I've posted anything personal on here. That was by design. But I have something on my mind and heart that I think would be healthier shared. Not even I can keep everything bottled up.

All too often my heart and my soul are shuttered off to the world. I tend to be clueless, sometimes bordering oblivious. I spend far too much time concerned for others to the point that I cause damage in my own life. I have high highs and low lows and there is rarely ground between them. I love deeply and fiercely, but I rarely ever show it to those I love. When I fall, I fall hard and it takes a long time to get back up. I am almost always alone yet I have great difficulties with being alone. I do incredibly stupid things at the most inopportune moments (*coughlastnightcough*)

Why are you sharing this?, you may be wondering.

For many years up until now, my definition of myself included someone else. I knew who I was when I had him, when I was with him. I was happy. Unfortunately, recent events have me thinking that I may not have him anymore. So all I have is me. I don't like this person I see. He's unhappy with his life, scared of unknowns, insecure of himself, unsure of what direction to go and what moves to make. He's everything I don't want to be yet am.

How can I give you what you want, how can I get what I want, being this person that I am? How do I change things that are so entrenched in my personality? How do I become a better me, a me that you want above all others?

I don't have these answers and I don't know where to start to find them.

Random Video Of The Week (EXPLICIT)

You Get What You Vote For

It's a good thing our City Council has fixed the myriad of issues that has plagued our fair city for oh-so-many decades and can now focus on trivial matters.

I used to be a strong proponent of District voting rights. I used to be right up there toward the front of the pack yelling for an equal voice in Congress. But I don't yell anymore. In fact, most days I pull down the brim of my hat, turn my head, and cough into my hand.

Why should our city have any say in our Federal government? Have you seen the way we run ourselves? Have you seen the hucksters we've voted into our city government? Lord knows I don't want any more snake oil salesmen in the halls of the United States Capitol Building. And if there's one thing I can count on the residents of the District to do it is voting snake oil salesmen into public office.

You want a voice in Congress? You want to have folk up there who aren't going to embarrass the people who elected them? Let's start with getting our own city government in check. Address the issues that need to be addressing. Stop stupid political stunts like this street name change.

More Wisdom From Sinfest (And Friends)

Hey, I'm sorry but I friggin' love this comic. And here is yet another reason why - a little commentary on you straight folk and your fear of same-sex marriage. Enjoy.


UPDATE: Here is more reading on this ongoing inequality. Do you think you know where the problem lies? Think again.

UPDATE: More on Proposition 8, and other laws of its kind, from Keith Olbermann. Now, I'm no fan of Olbermann's but what he says here is powerful. You can find the text of his commentary here.



UPDATE: There will be a protest this Saturday, 15 November 2008, at 1:30 PM EST at the United States Capital Reflecting Pool. Details here.

News Flash!

The Washington Post admits that it was in the tank for Barack Obama. This is shocking not in that they wrote more favorably about the now President-Elect but that they outright admit it. I hope that the lesson they learned in this past election cycle is that they should cover all candidates equally and fairly.

And that, my faithful readers, is the last you will hear from me about this finally over Presidential election. Now, let's move on.

A Parable On Proposition 8

Once upon a time, an old black woman boarded a bus and sat in the front row. All of the white people around her glared. The bus driver turned to the old black woman and gruffly said, "You can't sit there."

The old black woman looked down at the floor, "But I'm tired."

"And you're black! Now get to the back of the bus!" the driver snapped back.

The old black woman feebly replied, "You're right. I'm sorry. I should just be glad that you let me on the bus in the first place." Then she picked up her belongings and moved to the back of the bus.

Oh, Diarist, now that's taking it way too far! You've crossed a line!

Good. Because advancements in civil rights don't happen on their own. People have to cross lines. If it wasn't for Rosa Parks, there would be no Barack Obama. So get over your fragile senibilities.

Same-sex marriage is the civil rights issue of our generation. And although perhaps it isn't that important to some same-sex couples out there ... just like riding up with the white folk wasn't important to some black folk back then ... doesn't discount it's importance. This is about our families and the families like ours to follow.

Get some real pride. Get some real anger. And fight for what is guaranteed to us by our country's core principles.

It's Over! (Oh, Really?)

Remember this commercial?



Well ... hmm ... fascinating that.

There you go, you over 64 million Americans who voted for "Change". Seems like the only change you got what short.

Good luck with that.

Will This Election Bridge The Race Divide? (EXPLICIT!)

I was in the Dupont Circle Chipotle on Monday, 03 November, where I also used the bathroom. It was a clean bathroom.

I was in the Dupont Circle Chipotle today, 05 November, where I used the bathroom again. And this is what I saw.

First is an outgoing message to our current President, "Good Bye George W. Bush!!! and take your Damn Mexican Slaves with you!"


Next is presumably another outgoing message to our current President, "Go Back To Texas Bitch!!!"


Next is a shiny bit of patriotism, "This is U.S.A.!!!"


And finally is my favorite, written on the door, "Fuck yall white Mothafucka's!"


One day after the election. Several months after Barack Obama's famous speech on race. Now I'm not naïve. It's been forty years since the civil rights movement and black and white still can't seem to get along very well. But if this country has bought the ideas of "hope" and "change", well dammit ... get over it, move on, and grow up. Because, if this election has proven anything it's that race is no longer a barrier.

Get over it. Move on. Grow up.