Paging Inspiration. Inspiration, You Have A Telephone Call At The Front Desk.

Somehow I went through the entire month of October without adding one new post. I'm not sure I've ever gone a month without putting up a blog post in my entire blogging career. That, my faithful readers, is not good.

There were things on my mind. Like how I utterly despise the racial politics of the District. Or how I believe that Muse is the heir to Queen's musical throne. Or how I'm excited about a new television series that you may have inadvertently heard about last week. But every time I opened up this blog to put words to pixels, I came up empty.

The problem is that I'm completely uninspired. I just don't care that much to say anything about anything. In fact, this is the most I've said about anything in over a month.

So let me ask you, my faithful readers, how does one pull oneself out of such a mental funk? What tricks can I use to get back into the swing of things?

Cuz meh haz noe ideahz!

Friday Afternoon Funny

Laughter is the best medicine.

It cures a multitudes of ills ... physical, mental, emotional. It elevates the weight of stress and the daily grind. It's addictive and infectious and comforting. And it's free.

So here is my Friday gift to you. Laugh along (I defy you to do otherwise).

UPDATE: 09/24/2010 16:08: I was having issues with the video and have removed it. So just follow this link and enjoy.

Karma Kameleon

Martena Clinton, mugging for the camera in this choreographed photo.

A few things jump out at me over this story:

1. "Clinton has the handicapped tag because her husband suffered a stroke."
2. "She displayed a handicapped tag prominently, locked her car and checked with a police officer who happened to be parked right behind her. He assured her the spot was legal."
3. The "police had not kept track of where they had moved" her car.
4. The car was a block and a half away.

It sucks to have your car towed. It gives you a lead-in-the-belly feeling that just makes you sick. People shouldn't have to go through that, especially after being assured by a police officer that you are legally parked.

That said, it serves her right. As commenters on the article have pointed out, while parking in a handicapped spot was legal because she had a handicap tag, the use of said tag is not legal because ... well ... she's not handicapped. If I had been the officer, I would have informed her of that little fact and had her move the car.

In which case, she most likely would have parked farther away and her car would have most likely not been moved.

Karma. She is a bitch.

(Cross-posted on 100 Million Castaways, which you should be reading too.)

Crab Mentality And The Potential Implosion Of The Republican Party

I was reminded of how easy it is to cook crabs after reading this news article at CNN.com this morning.

It seems that the Republican Party is still embroiled in a "civil war" between the Republican Status Quo (RSO) and the Tea Party even though the Primary Election is over. In some cases, such as Delaware and Alaska, the RSO candidate lost. It's usually at this point that the party rallies 'round the Primary winner to help them secure whatever post it is to which they are aspiring. But not so this year.

Now, it's one thing to actively work to defeat someone if you are a member of the opposition, but it is quite another to actively work to defeat someone if you are a member of the same party after the Primary Election results are in. You idiot RSOs had nine months to do all of your sniping, mud-slinging, and character assassinations against these upstarts. And your candidate lost. Now is the time to rally behind the Primary winner. Now is the time to do all you can to ensure that you capture the majority seats in Congress. Now is the time to make your party relevant.

But no. RSOs can't seem to get past the insult of being rejected by the voting members of their own party and feel the upstarts still have a price to pay for their impertinence.

Sharpen those crabby claws, baby. It's almost supper time.

(Cross-posted on 100 Million Castaways.)

A New Creative Outlet

I was invited to, and accepted, a contributorship to a new group blog. To explain it in a nutshell, it's a mental gathering of friends and I expect that it will become the online version of what our get-togethers are like. There's no real direction yet (if there ever will be) and we are a very diverse group in many senses of that word.

So it should be fascinating. And I think you should become part of our crazy ride.

This One's For The Ladies (Or "How To Behave In Public")

As my most faithful readers know, I am the host/KJ (karaoke jockey) of a popular long-running karaoke at a certain D.C. bar. Above all else, we strive to be the most inclusive, relaxing, laid-back karaoke in the city. We want to be the place you go on Wednesday nights to kick back and enjoy a night out with your friends.

Achieving this goal requires some level of effort on the parts of both the staff and the patrons. And, for the most part, we succeed in reaching that perfect balance. But lately that balance has been threatened. And it's by you, ladies. I understand that you, especially those of you who are under the age of 28, are accustomed to a certain way of things. But this is the adult world and things don't work the same as when you were partying out in your sorority house. So I'm going to help you with some pointers of how to behave the next time you come to my weekly shindig.

1. Tip your bartenders. I could appeal to your sense of sympathy for your struggling fellow man by reminding you that bartenders make their living from tips, but you know this already and appear to be unfazed. So I'll put it another way to you ... bartenders pour stronger drinks for people to tip well. Plus, they'll be a bit more inclined to put up with the drunken mess you'll become within the hour.
2. Practice a little patience. You aren't the only person in the song queue. Every one of the people in line ahead of you have been waiting patiently for their turn to sing. You may be used to getting what you want when you want it but, believe me, that won't last forever. And the sooner you learn that, the better off you'll be.
3. Realize that you're amongst adults now. Perhaps shrieking loudly, swinging on the load-bearing pole, and cackling maniacally is normal for a sorority or fraternity house. Please note that this is not a sorority or fraternity house. This is a bar. Full of adults. Who don't much appreciate the immature behavior. Please show a bit more maturity and dignity within these walls by keeping the shrieking to a minimum.
4. Understand that it takes a bit of courage to sing on stage. Yes, even if you're drunk. Show some respect to those who are singing. (See pointer #3.)
5. Every night has an end. Our show officially ends at 1:30 AM. Your private show should end before you get overly intoxicated. Because, trust me, once you've gone beyond the point of "drunk" into "sloppy drunk", you will ignore every single one of these pointers.

I want you to be there. I want you to enjoy yourselves. However, as Iron-Fisted Dictator&trade, I have to keep everyone's fun and enjoyment in mind. That includes the staff as well as the patrons. Please help me make every Wednesday night the most-enjoyable, drama-free night of the week. We have the best karaoke and the best patrons in the entire metro area ... let's all try to keep it that way, hmm?

They're Fixing A Hole

DG-rad at And Now, Anacostia is reporting that our current welcome is being replaced by something shiny and new.

The plywood will soon be replaced by a collage composition of recycled wood blocks and shiny orange metal that celebrates the gateway to Ward 8.

The current blue plywood corner covering was installed after the original wood-and-chain-link corner cover was destroyed by an errant driver.

Here is the original corner covering:



Here is the current corner covering:



And here is the proposed new corner covering:



Now, I'm not fan of the current corner cover. It's ugly, depressing, unwelcoming, and unimpressive. But I don't see this proposed corner cover as any more attractive. I agree with commenter Rob that the orange just doesn't fit with the neighborhood at all and the recycled wood blocks only add to the feeling of abandonment and neglect, especially against the backdrop of so many empty and decaying buildings. (Maybe it will look better in execution than it does in computer rendering.)

I do understand that this is meant to be temporary, until something gets developed in that space. And I hope that by "temporary" we mean "in less than a year". Because, in my honest opinion, the best possible greeting into Anacostia from the neighborhoods to the west is a new, vibrant, and safe historic "downtown" area.

It Has To Start Somewhere

I've lived in the D.C. Metropolitan area my entire life. I was born in the city. I've spent most of my adult life in the city. I remember when Penn Quarter/Chinatown/Gallery Place was a dangerous wasteland of shadows, crumbling buildings, drug dealers, hookers, and various other unpleasantness.

And I remember when the art galleries came. They were the first wave of development to this forgotten part of the city. They were a beacon of hope that business and beauty can survive and thrive amongst the hulls and shells and devastation. Then came a sit-down eatery or two. Then came more businesses. Then came The Verizon Center. Then came development in earnest. Now look at the neighborhood and how far they've come.

Some people are hoping that history can repeat itself in the most desolate of desolate places. It's true that "the arts aren't the 'be all and end all'" and that there will still be plenty of work to do. But with these art-related businesses opening and the Department of Homeland Security moving in relatively soon, one can't help but see a reenactment of "The Rebuilding Of Penn Quarter" right here in SE DC.

I, for one, am very excited for my Ward.

How Much Does A Few Minutes Cost?

Quite possibly an election.

There's been talk, mostly from the pro-Fenty base, that none of this really matters. Dr. Angelou and Mrs. Height weren't residents of our fair city so what does it matter what they had to talk to the mayor about, they say. The mayor is too busy doing the business of the people, they say. The days of kow-towing to special interests are over, they say.

Except these two women weren't special interests. They are pillars of the black community. They are cultural icons. It would have taken the mayor an hour of his time at most to speak with them. The political reward would have been great. The support he would have received from the District's black population would have been enormous. But most importantly, the boost it would have given his image ... the smoothing of those rough edges, the "humanification" of that aloof personality ... would have been priceless. And the mayor probably wouldn't find himself in the fight for his political life.

That missed meeting may well have been the beginning of the end for Mayor Fenty. Black district residents, especially those of the fairer sex, began to look at the mayor through different eyes and they started to see a man who didn't care about them.

Whether that perception is true or not is moot. In politics, perception is everything.

A New Tool For Accountability (UPDATED)

Do you ride Metro? Are you frustrated with all of the issues Metro has? Do you wish that you could give Metro a visual aid to show its failings? Well, TBD.com is launching a new map tool that will do just that ... provided you give the details. So the next time your station escalator isn't working, or the train is late, or that stupid ticket machine keeps eating your hard-earned cash, don't be timid -- go to the map and lodge your complaint.

Ah, but sorry Metrobus riders. It doesn't seem that you have a voice on this new mapping tool. At least not yet, anyway.

UPDATE: 08/23/2010 12:12: Okay, it so it isn't a map. But it is a step in the right direction for the lower-profiled Metrobus riders.

And This Is Bad How?

There are those leaders who seek consensus and take forever because of endless meetings, in the effort to appear to be doing something when nothing is getting done. Then there are those leaders who seek consensus and get it in a timely manner because the voice of the people is important in governing.

Mr. Gray has been one of the most effective City Council chairmen. He has accomplished this by getting all voices heard and moving toward a resolution that benefits the whole, not just a few. I see no reason why he wouldn't govern as mayor in the same manner. Being deliberative and thoughtful are not bad attributes to have, and Mr. Gray has them in spades ... yet he has also shown that he is not crippled by them. I expect that, if elected mayor, Mr. Gray will bring "order and civility and decorum" to the entire of D.C. government. And wouldn't that be a nice change?

Git Yer Junk Out

The Antiques Roadshow is coming to the Washington Convention Center tomorrow! Unfortunately, if you don't already have a ticket, you can't go. Bummer.

It's FRIDAY!

The work week is over. The sun is out. It's a beautiful morning. And I feel like music. So here are the greatest names of popular rock and roll in the fall of 1992, at the height of their musical powers. While there is always the possibility, I doubt that we will ever again see such a collection of talent together on the same stage sharing the same song. Enjoy!

Yes, But Will It Star Tom Cruise?

I own an iPhone. It is my Brain. It is also my main source of entertainment, especially with game ... especially with Angry Birds. I have completed all of the levels that are currently available with the highest 3-star rating. I have unlocked all of the currently available easter eggs. Simply stated, I love this game. So imagine my excitement when I read that Rovio is fishing for a studio to make this wildly entertaining game into a movie.

I'm all behind this idea. The game has a basic plot - birds have eggs, pigs steal eggs, birds rain avian vengeance on pigs - which lends itself to multiple story directions. Seriously ... this would be hard to screw up. I mean, you'd have to be a talent of epic proportions to make a mess of an Angry Birds movie.

If you haven't played the game or even heard of it before (and if that's the case, what cave do you live in?), here is the official game trailer.

Tasty Crow, Or "Look! Up In The Sky!"

Okay, okay, remember when I said very loudly and clearly that D.C. was lacking its own super contingent?

I was wrong. So very wrong.

The Hump Day Mehs

It's a dreary, rainy, busy Wednesday and nothing in the news excites me. So, to perk us all up, I offer this ...

EFN Lounge & Motley Bar Shutters Its Doors

I ran across a blog post last night with news that I honestly couldn't believe.

It seems that EFN Lounge and Motley Bar, legally known as Wami, LLC, is the latest DC gay bar to bite the dust.

A quick trip to EFN's webpage results in a page load error. This could mean one of two things ... either the webmaster is asleep at the wheel or the blog post is true. So I did some searching around online and found corroboration of the story. Just to be certain, I then went onto Facebook to check the statuses of people I know who work for EFN Lounge. The status update on 16 August 2010 around 8pm of a friend who bartends there stated, "OWNERS EMAILED STAFF: MOTLEY BAR IS CLOSED!!!"

So it's official. EFN Lounge & Motley Bar is dead.

The bar, then known as BeBar, engaged in a bitter fight with a church that didn't even occupy the same ANC at the bar. After the six month struggle, BeBar opened to much fanfare and hoopla back in September of 2006. The pre-launch party was wall-to-wall people with hardly room to breath, much less move. The gay bar was a pioneer, opening in a part of the city that was much farther east than any of its competition. Some in the city thought that this would bring traffic and business to an area that desperately needed both while others considered the neighborhood too unsafe for such late night activities. Eventually, the critics appeared to be right as attacks against gays patronizing the bar began to increase. One of my best friends was almost a victim of a brutal attack after leaving the bar; only his quick wits and quicker legs potentially saved his life.

In May of 2009, the bar underwent a dramatic reinvention under new ownership and emerged as EFN Lounge & Motley Bar. Several new events (such at Bear Happy Hour, ActiveDuty, fashion shows, jello wrestling, and POZ) were introduced as a way to bring patrons back. But, it seems, the patrons just couldn't be bothered to keep coming back.

Perhaps the neighborhood is still perceived to be too unsafe to risk the visit. Perhaps the rumors of underage patrons kept legal-aged patrons away. Perhaps the vibe just wasn't right. Whatever the reason(s), the District has lost a gay establishment that tried to cater to parts of the gay community that were too often overlooked.

Now, with the reporting part out of the way, I'd like to give you my thoughts. I was never a fan of the bar. It was too expensive, too pretentious, too full of itself to be enjoyable. I would go from time to time because I had friends who worked there. Once the new ownership took over, things took a nosedive. The attitude was nasty. The bar made underhanded and shady moves on other gay establishments' business (*coughBearHappyHourcough*). The general manager of Cobalt suffered multiple personal attacks on his character and reputation at the hands of EFN Lounge management.

Disclaimer: I work at Cobalt as the host of the long-running Wednesday Night Karaoke.

I'm a firm believer that what goes around comes around. While I feel for the people who are now out of work, I do not lament the closing of this bar. To any ownership that informs its employees that they are unemployed effective immediately via email, I say "stay classy". And to any business that is so insecure of itself that it needs to make personal attacks on another bar's manager and secure patronage through shady moves, I say "good riddance".

UPDATE: 08/17/2010 11:45: Metro Weekly has more on this story. It's sad that, even in closing, the place is still dysfunctional.

Fenty Brings The Big Guns

The Washington City Paper is reporting today that Mayor Fenty is getting some major campaigning help tomorrow in his bid for re-election. The problem is ... nobody in D.C. really cares about the person coming to town.

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is coming to D.C. tomorrow to help support Mayor Adrian Fenty’s re-election bid, according to a Fenty campaign source.

C'mon now. I mean really. What kind of sway is NYC Mayor Bloomberg going to have here in Our Nation's Capital? He has no ties here. He has no say, direct or indirect, about how our city runs. His only very loose connection is that Mayor Fenty idolizes him.

This reeks of desperation. It's the equivalent of a faltering television show relying on a special guest star appearance to help bolster ratings.

Mr. Mayor, you will have to do much better than this.

Mr. Fenty Insists On Hearing Bad News Immediately

I learned from Tiffany Bridge of We Love DC that City Council Chairman Vince Gray came home Thursday night to a “threatening display of magazines". Tiffany calls the stunt "cartoonish" and I have to agree. I mean, if you're going to send a message to someone, send a real message!

Am I right? Hello?

New Music Venue In Downtown D.C.?

The Washington Post has a fascinating tidbit in today's online webpage.

First, it's in a sweet location - within walking distance to several Metro stations, in the heart of Tourist Land, and in a very safe part of the city. (You'll notice the Treasury Building at the end of F Street NW.)

Second, there's this:

Meyer envisions a "more adult" music club with a general focus on singer-songwriters. He hopes to book country acts and gospel artists. He hopes to curate free lunchtime concerts. He hopes to host local up-and-comers and marquee veterans.

That's a big deal. Other than an occasional coffee shop, there really aren't any places for singer-songwriters, especially those of the local up-and-comer types, to perform. Which leads us to my next point.

Third, because it sounds like it will be a more intimate space focused on music that may sit just outside of the mainstream, acts such as one of my favorite unheard bands or one of my favorite mostly unheard solo acts might come to D.C. for more than one gig every year or so.

And fourth, pardon my egotistical musings, it could very well get me to get off my tookus and back onto the stage where I belong.

Please, oh please, oh please ... Powers of Righteousness, Keepers of Light, Protectors of Goodliness ... let Mr. Meyer open this venue!