This One's For The Ladies (Or "How To Behave In Public")

As my most faithful readers know, I am the host/KJ (karaoke jockey) of a popular long-running karaoke at a certain D.C. bar. Above all else, we strive to be the most inclusive, relaxing, laid-back karaoke in the city. We want to be the place you go on Wednesday nights to kick back and enjoy a night out with your friends.

Achieving this goal requires some level of effort on the parts of both the staff and the patrons. And, for the most part, we succeed in reaching that perfect balance. But lately that balance has been threatened. And it's by you, ladies. I understand that you, especially those of you who are under the age of 28, are accustomed to a certain way of things. But this is the adult world and things don't work the same as when you were partying out in your sorority house. So I'm going to help you with some pointers of how to behave the next time you come to my weekly shindig.

1. Tip your bartenders. I could appeal to your sense of sympathy for your struggling fellow man by reminding you that bartenders make their living from tips, but you know this already and appear to be unfazed. So I'll put it another way to you ... bartenders pour stronger drinks for people to tip well. Plus, they'll be a bit more inclined to put up with the drunken mess you'll become within the hour.
2. Practice a little patience. You aren't the only person in the song queue. Every one of the people in line ahead of you have been waiting patiently for their turn to sing. You may be used to getting what you want when you want it but, believe me, that won't last forever. And the sooner you learn that, the better off you'll be.
3. Realize that you're amongst adults now. Perhaps shrieking loudly, swinging on the load-bearing pole, and cackling maniacally is normal for a sorority or fraternity house. Please note that this is not a sorority or fraternity house. This is a bar. Full of adults. Who don't much appreciate the immature behavior. Please show a bit more maturity and dignity within these walls by keeping the shrieking to a minimum.
4. Understand that it takes a bit of courage to sing on stage. Yes, even if you're drunk. Show some respect to those who are singing. (See pointer #3.)
5. Every night has an end. Our show officially ends at 1:30 AM. Your private show should end before you get overly intoxicated. Because, trust me, once you've gone beyond the point of "drunk" into "sloppy drunk", you will ignore every single one of these pointers.

I want you to be there. I want you to enjoy yourselves. However, as Iron-Fisted Dictator&trade, I have to keep everyone's fun and enjoyment in mind. That includes the staff as well as the patrons. Please help me make every Wednesday night the most-enjoyable, drama-free night of the week. We have the best karaoke and the best patrons in the entire metro area ... let's all try to keep it that way, hmm?

EFN Lounge & Motley Bar Shutters Its Doors

I ran across a blog post last night with news that I honestly couldn't believe.

It seems that EFN Lounge and Motley Bar, legally known as Wami, LLC, is the latest DC gay bar to bite the dust.

A quick trip to EFN's webpage results in a page load error. This could mean one of two things ... either the webmaster is asleep at the wheel or the blog post is true. So I did some searching around online and found corroboration of the story. Just to be certain, I then went onto Facebook to check the statuses of people I know who work for EFN Lounge. The status update on 16 August 2010 around 8pm of a friend who bartends there stated, "OWNERS EMAILED STAFF: MOTLEY BAR IS CLOSED!!!"

So it's official. EFN Lounge & Motley Bar is dead.

The bar, then known as BeBar, engaged in a bitter fight with a church that didn't even occupy the same ANC at the bar. After the six month struggle, BeBar opened to much fanfare and hoopla back in September of 2006. The pre-launch party was wall-to-wall people with hardly room to breath, much less move. The gay bar was a pioneer, opening in a part of the city that was much farther east than any of its competition. Some in the city thought that this would bring traffic and business to an area that desperately needed both while others considered the neighborhood too unsafe for such late night activities. Eventually, the critics appeared to be right as attacks against gays patronizing the bar began to increase. One of my best friends was almost a victim of a brutal attack after leaving the bar; only his quick wits and quicker legs potentially saved his life.

In May of 2009, the bar underwent a dramatic reinvention under new ownership and emerged as EFN Lounge & Motley Bar. Several new events (such at Bear Happy Hour, ActiveDuty, fashion shows, jello wrestling, and POZ) were introduced as a way to bring patrons back. But, it seems, the patrons just couldn't be bothered to keep coming back.

Perhaps the neighborhood is still perceived to be too unsafe to risk the visit. Perhaps the rumors of underage patrons kept legal-aged patrons away. Perhaps the vibe just wasn't right. Whatever the reason(s), the District has lost a gay establishment that tried to cater to parts of the gay community that were too often overlooked.

Now, with the reporting part out of the way, I'd like to give you my thoughts. I was never a fan of the bar. It was too expensive, too pretentious, too full of itself to be enjoyable. I would go from time to time because I had friends who worked there. Once the new ownership took over, things took a nosedive. The attitude was nasty. The bar made underhanded and shady moves on other gay establishments' business (*coughBearHappyHourcough*). The general manager of Cobalt suffered multiple personal attacks on his character and reputation at the hands of EFN Lounge management.

Disclaimer: I work at Cobalt as the host of the long-running Wednesday Night Karaoke.

I'm a firm believer that what goes around comes around. While I feel for the people who are now out of work, I do not lament the closing of this bar. To any ownership that informs its employees that they are unemployed effective immediately via email, I say "stay classy". And to any business that is so insecure of itself that it needs to make personal attacks on another bar's manager and secure patronage through shady moves, I say "good riddance".

UPDATE: 08/17/2010 11:45: Metro Weekly has more on this story. It's sad that, even in closing, the place is still dysfunctional.

MOVA Is Moving ... Hopefully To Oblivion

D.C. gay bar MOVA, formerly known as Halo, is planning to move to a new but undetermined location in D.C., according to owner Babak Movahedi.

Mr. Movahedi says that the rent is too high and the landlord has refused to renegotiate a new deal. The landlord, David Lett, counters that "Movahedi’s assertion that he declined to enter into discussions over a possible change in the lease" is total bunk. According to Mr. Lett, "Movahedi violated the lease when he failed to pay the property tax on the building, which was a requirement of the lease". Having known both men in capacity enough to judge their character, I'm inclined to believe Mr. Lett's word.