Next Weekend's Musical Affairs - A Few Promotions

Next weekend, the first weekend of August, will prove to be a very musicalicious time to be had by all participating.

First, if you recall, Friday 01 August is TOWN's talent contest. $1000 will be awarded to the winner of this monthly competition. Don't you have a talent you've been dying to show the world? Don't you want $1000 dollars? Then contact TOWN (info@towndc.com) and get in on this.

Second, I spoke more than once about an artist who hails from the New York City area. Mario's music is emotional and moving (in many senses of the word) and just plain fantastic. And on Sunday 03 August at 1800 (that would be 6 PM), he will be performing a FREE show at the Kennedy Center Millenium Stage. This, I believe, will be his first-ever performance in Washington, D.C.! And we don't want it to be his last. So all you fans out there really need to come and show him some love ... and bring a few friends as well. You and they will not be disappointed.

Third, after the Mario concert ... since you're in the area ... you should come join me at Cobalt's Sunday Night Karaoke. It's the perfect venue to relax a bit, kick back a few drinks, jaw with the friends, listen to some more awesome singing, and (if you've had enough liquid courage) sing a number or two yourself. We have a brand new shiny bar space and a brand new shiny karaoke system ... but the same old dull hosts. The door opens at 2030 (that would be 8:30 PM) and the show starts at 2100 (that would be 9 PM), if all is well. Am I laying it on a bit thick? I certainly hope so. We've worked hard to make a safe, fun, laid-back environment and we want you to enjoy it. So do come.

What are you waiting for? Break out those dayplanners (or smartphones or granite tablets) and put these events on your calendars!

That is all.

Let's Not Have A Repeat Of Memorial Day Weekend Next Week, Shall We? Thanks.

Last night was a very slow night (thankfully). But, for some bizarre reason, I still had to deal with cuntwad patrons. I had three annoying people ... out of the twenty who were there ... which seems like an awfully high cuntwad-to-awesome ratio to me ... harass me. Here are some things not to say to me while I'm working:

• How long until I'm up?

I honestly don't mind you asking me this question ... once ... when you hand me your song card. I will gladly tell you your estimated wait time. Any further inquiries from you will result in the exact same answer from me. Which means you will never get to sing.

• Did you call my name yet?

Did you hear me call your name yet? No? Then I must not have called your name yet. Move along now. And pay more attention to what's happening here.

• Can you move me up in the line?

Technically, yes. I am the host, you know. But that's not how we roll here. This is a "first come, first served" zone. You get put in the song queue in the order in which you handed me your song card. If you want to sing sooner, show up sooner.

• But this person up here sang twice already since I've been here!

Yep. This person showed up early and gave me their songs early. Move along now.

I really don't want to be a dick to you. I'm running this show as fairly as I possibly can. Ask anyone who knows me; I'm a creature of rules and fairness. (And majorly anal retentive.) My goal, my job, is to move this show on in the quickest, most entertaining way. On slow nights, everyone will get to sing ... more than once, even. But on nights like Memorial Day weekend and, I imagine, next weekend, it will be insanely busy. The best way to ensure that you will sing is to be there when the doors open, pick your song(s) quickly, and hand your song card(s) to me ... early. Otherwise, I can't guarantee anything.

Be patient. Have fun drinking and socializing. Pay attention to the show. Don't harass the host. And we'll all have a gay ol' time together.

If You Don't Like The System, Stop Coming. It Won't Hurt My Feelings Or Our Business One Bit.

Look, I do understand that you waited a long time to sing tonight. You weren't the only one who waited a long time to sing tonight. Unfortunately, we ran out of time and were not able to get to you. You weren't the only one we weren't able to get to. You were, however, the only one who was a cunt. You and your friend. So you want to whine to management about how "bad business"-like it was for us not to allow you to sing because we ran out of time? Be my guest. If you've been participating at karaoke for longer than I've been working, I'm sure you would know how things work on busy three-day weekends. But I somehow doubt that you're a regular (as I am a regular, years before I started working there, and don't recall ever seeing you there).

So, please, cry to the general manager about how unfair I was tonight. But realize that you are the only one who reacted this way. Everyone else seemed to understand that it was an extremely busy night and didn't get up in my grill over it.

Bitch.