The Time Is Almost Nigh

Here we are, two more days a few short hours until the Blessed One smiles upon us fortunate few who have been deemed worthy for laying several hundred dollars at the Altar of Jobs. Upon hearing rumors that the All-Powerful Jobs would bless his chosen people with his goodness, I was excited. That was until I learned that I was not truly one of the chosen for I had not evolved enough.

Well, I am now appropriately evolved. And I am beside myself in anticipation of the glorious day! My only fear is that the line to the temple could be quite long, and I am not the patient disciple I once was.

Still, it is only once a year that our Most Benevolent One smiles upon us mortals. And so I shall wait for however long it takes the blessings to flow from Mount Macintosh to my humble symbol of devotion.

Praise be to Jobs and peace unto you.

iPhone 3.0 Preview And My First Major Disappointment With Apple

I'm a Mac fanboy. It's no secret. I know it. You know it. To me, Steve Jobs farts rainbows and unicorns; and everything he touches turns to banana pudding. (Mmm ... banana pudding ...) My house is an Apple house; and if it weren't for work, I would not have one single Micro$oft machine in it.

Of all the the Apple toys I own, I love my iPhone best of all. It should come as no surprise that I was incredibly excited when I heard that the iPhone OS 3.0 upgrade will be released this summer and that it will finally include some features that have been sorely lacking.

For iPhone owners, it just keeps getting better. When iPhone OS 3.0 arrives this summer, it will introduce over 100 new features, including the ability to:

Search your iPhone
Cut, copy, and paste
Send photos, contacts, audio files, and location via MMS*
Read and compose email and text messages in landscape

Additional features include text forwarding, voice memos, support for additional calendar programs, Notes synchronization, Wi-Fi auto login, stereo Bluetooth, anti-phishing, and auto-fill.

I giddily watched the presentation, as all good fanboys should, feeling like Santa himself was letting me know what Christmas will bring this year.

Of all the goodies, though, I was most excited about MMS and voice memos. Two things I had on my ol' Palm Treo 650 were finally coming to my iPhone. The only thing missing is video ... but I'm patient ... good things come to those who wait.

Wait. What's this? There's an asterisk. Asterisks aren't usually good things.

And, indeed, it's not.

* MMS messaging is available only on iPhone 3G; fees may apply. MMS may not be available in all areas.

And herein lies my first major Apple let down. See, I have the original iPhone 2.5G. MMS will not be available to me. Unless, that is, I upgrade to the iPhone 3G.

Steve ... after all we've been through together ... after all the Windows disciples I've converted ... how could you?! You know I love my iPhone 2.5G! You know I planned on growing old with it! How could you put me in a position to chose function over feeling?! You bastard!!!

Yet you know I will. You know that I will upgrade my phone in preparation of the OS update. You know I covet MMS and voice memos too much to keep hold on my iPhone 2.5G.

And though I may enjoy sending picture messages and recording song ideas, I will be sorely (and secretly) disappointed in you.