Personal Musings

It's been a while since I've posted anything personal on here. That was by design. But I have something on my mind and heart that I think would be healthier shared. Not even I can keep everything bottled up.

All too often my heart and my soul are shuttered off to the world. I tend to be clueless, sometimes bordering oblivious. I spend far too much time concerned for others to the point that I cause damage in my own life. I have high highs and low lows and there is rarely ground between them. I love deeply and fiercely, but I rarely ever show it to those I love. When I fall, I fall hard and it takes a long time to get back up. I am almost always alone yet I have great difficulties with being alone. I do incredibly stupid things at the most inopportune moments (*coughlastnightcough*)

Why are you sharing this?, you may be wondering.

For many years up until now, my definition of myself included someone else. I knew who I was when I had him, when I was with him. I was happy. Unfortunately, recent events have me thinking that I may not have him anymore. So all I have is me. I don't like this person I see. He's unhappy with his life, scared of unknowns, insecure of himself, unsure of what direction to go and what moves to make. He's everything I don't want to be yet am.

How can I give you what you want, how can I get what I want, being this person that I am? How do I change things that are so entrenched in my personality? How do I become a better me, a me that you want above all others?

I don't have these answers and I don't know where to start to find them.

Random Video Of The Week (EXPLICIT)

You Get What You Vote For

It's a good thing our City Council has fixed the myriad of issues that has plagued our fair city for oh-so-many decades and can now focus on trivial matters.

I used to be a strong proponent of District voting rights. I used to be right up there toward the front of the pack yelling for an equal voice in Congress. But I don't yell anymore. In fact, most days I pull down the brim of my hat, turn my head, and cough into my hand.

Why should our city have any say in our Federal government? Have you seen the way we run ourselves? Have you seen the hucksters we've voted into our city government? Lord knows I don't want any more snake oil salesmen in the halls of the United States Capitol Building. And if there's one thing I can count on the residents of the District to do it is voting snake oil salesmen into public office.

You want a voice in Congress? You want to have folk up there who aren't going to embarrass the people who elected them? Let's start with getting our own city government in check. Address the issues that need to be addressing. Stop stupid political stunts like this street name change.

More Wisdom From Sinfest (And Friends)

Hey, I'm sorry but I friggin' love this comic. And here is yet another reason why - a little commentary on you straight folk and your fear of same-sex marriage. Enjoy.


UPDATE: Here is more reading on this ongoing inequality. Do you think you know where the problem lies? Think again.

UPDATE: More on Proposition 8, and other laws of its kind, from Keith Olbermann. Now, I'm no fan of Olbermann's but what he says here is powerful. You can find the text of his commentary here.



UPDATE: There will be a protest this Saturday, 15 November 2008, at 1:30 PM EST at the United States Capital Reflecting Pool. Details here.

News Flash!

The Washington Post admits that it was in the tank for Barack Obama. This is shocking not in that they wrote more favorably about the now President-Elect but that they outright admit it. I hope that the lesson they learned in this past election cycle is that they should cover all candidates equally and fairly.

And that, my faithful readers, is the last you will hear from me about this finally over Presidential election. Now, let's move on.

A Parable On Proposition 8

Once upon a time, an old black woman boarded a bus and sat in the front row. All of the white people around her glared. The bus driver turned to the old black woman and gruffly said, "You can't sit there."

The old black woman looked down at the floor, "But I'm tired."

"And you're black! Now get to the back of the bus!" the driver snapped back.

The old black woman feebly replied, "You're right. I'm sorry. I should just be glad that you let me on the bus in the first place." Then she picked up her belongings and moved to the back of the bus.

Oh, Diarist, now that's taking it way too far! You've crossed a line!

Good. Because advancements in civil rights don't happen on their own. People have to cross lines. If it wasn't for Rosa Parks, there would be no Barack Obama. So get over your fragile senibilities.

Same-sex marriage is the civil rights issue of our generation. And although perhaps it isn't that important to some same-sex couples out there ... just like riding up with the white folk wasn't important to some black folk back then ... doesn't discount it's importance. This is about our families and the families like ours to follow.

Get some real pride. Get some real anger. And fight for what is guaranteed to us by our country's core principles.

It's Over! (Oh, Really?)

Remember this commercial?



Well ... hmm ... fascinating that.

There you go, you over 64 million Americans who voted for "Change". Seems like the only change you got what short.

Good luck with that.

Will This Election Bridge The Race Divide? (EXPLICIT!)

I was in the Dupont Circle Chipotle on Monday, 03 November, where I also used the bathroom. It was a clean bathroom.

I was in the Dupont Circle Chipotle today, 05 November, where I used the bathroom again. And this is what I saw.

First is an outgoing message to our current President, "Good Bye George W. Bush!!! and take your Damn Mexican Slaves with you!"


Next is presumably another outgoing message to our current President, "Go Back To Texas Bitch!!!"


Next is a shiny bit of patriotism, "This is U.S.A.!!!"


And finally is my favorite, written on the door, "Fuck yall white Mothafucka's!"


One day after the election. Several months after Barack Obama's famous speech on race. Now I'm not naïve. It's been forty years since the civil rights movement and black and white still can't seem to get along very well. But if this country has bought the ideas of "hope" and "change", well dammit ... get over it, move on, and grow up. Because, if this election has proven anything it's that race is no longer a barrier.

Get over it. Move on. Grow up.